Body positivity - what works for me

I know exactly when this picture was taken, and I know exactly how much I weighed. In September 2016 we took a family cruise on Celebrity Eclipse. I had absolutely killed myself through dieting and cycling and whatever (and not in a particularly healthy way) to get down under 10 stone and I was really, really proud of myself. Of course, as far as you’d know on Instagram and writing about it on the blog afterwards, it was the perfect family holiday, but do you know what? It really wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, we mostly had a great time but there was quite a lot of tension in our family at that time (isn’t there always with two teenagers?) and I remember feeling quite unhappy that I’d made all that sacrifice and still the holiday wasn’t perfect. That’s the thing with getting obsessed with your weight - it turns out that after all the hard work and effort being thinner doesn’t really make everything perfect, does it? Ridiculous really.

I keep a note of my weight occasionally on MyFitnessPal (I know lots of people don’t advocate weighing yourself - I’ll come to this later) and I can see that it wasn’t sustainable. By January 2017 I was back up to 10 stone 9lb - that’s quite a leap in four months! BUT I was happier, had committed to a year of living thoughtfully, and was definitely less obsessive about what I was eating. I started couch to 5k, was cooking healthy, fresh food, having the occasional treat, and feeling quite good.

But here’s the thing - at the end of last year, after reading so much about body positivity, embracing your curves, loving yourself for who you are, and all that, I deleted the app. We had an exciting few months, we went to China for Cruise International, and then we went to Florida just before Christmas, and then there was Christmas itself… I ate anything and everything I wanted, had abandoned the running (quite difficult to keep up when you’re away), and was drinking quite a bit too. I was becoming aware that I’d put on weight. My favourite jeans wouldn’t do up and as much as I laughed and said that was fine, I’m just a bit curvier than usual, inside I was really quite unhappy about it.

I definitely don’t have an obsessive personality, but I do definitely have to be a bit careful when it comes to weight - there was a period in my late teens when I got into dangerous territory and got very thin. I’m more self aware now, but still, I know it’s there - I have to aim for a happy medium. The first thing I did was drag the scales out from their hiding place and was shocked to see that I was the heaviest I’ve ever been (well, apart from being pregnant). I needed to get back on track and so from the beginning of February I started on a new plan.

Raising the future t-shirt: meresoeur.com/

Body positivity - what works for me

Keeping track with an app

I know, I know… weighing yourself is BAD, and tracking what you eat is BAD, and I know these sorts of apps can contribute to really unhealthy obsessive behaviour and even eating disorders, but for me, weighing myself occasionally definitely keeps me on track, and I find it really useful to keep an eye on what I eat (and drink). I think the key is finding what works for you. I don’t set myself unrealistic calorie targets, or follow it slavishly, but I like it and it works for me.

Finding an exercise I genuinely like, and sticking with it

I really enjoyed couch to 5k, and really found it a great boost to get to the end of it and actually be running for 25 minutes. Me! That person that used to hide behind the bike sheds for a smoke when everyone else was doing cross country! I realised how much I’d missed it - not necessarily the running, which I’ll admit I don’t find easy, but the feeling when you’ve finished your run. Such elation and yes, body positivity: look at this thing my body can do - isn’t it incredible? I’d missed it.

Now, I run three times a week. Always first thing in the morning, and come rain or shine. I’m not the fastest runner and I tend to do about 4k - I plug myself in to Spotify, blast out the Motivation Mix and force myself outside. I always, always feel better afterwards. Every so often, I replay one of the week 8 or week 9 couch to 5k runs, which I find really helpful to keep me motivated and running around the right distance. Other times I just run roughly in a big circle around my house for half an hour.

Mindful Chef Mexican steak with avocado salsa and brown rice with spinach and coriander

Concentrating on healthy eating, but treating myself at the weekend

I really enjoyed trying out the Mindful Chef recipes last week - they’re filling and delicious, but avoid pasta, bread and white rice, so you know you’re getting lots of wholesome veggies and lean protein. It’s a great way to eat and I’ve been inspired to cook more brown rice, swap sweet potatoes for normal potatoes and cook loads more nourishing dhals, stews and soups (and maybe slightly fewer pies).

Weekends, we do tend to treat ourselves with croissants and maybe the odd sausage sandwich but that’s fine too, right? No guilt or judgment here.

Keeping an eye on what I’m drinking

When I first started on this plan, I was eating healthily and felt increasingly frustrated that I wasn’t losing any weight. I remember complaining to Jim how it wasn’t fair that I was running and looking after myself, but nothing was happening. He mentioned the amount of wine we drink (often a bottle a night and more at the weekend) and when we looked up the calories again, we were quite shocked. We’ve gone back to not drinking in the week, and being sensible at the weekend and lo and behold, the weight started to come down - a whopping 10lb so far!

For me, the ultimate in body positivity isn’t accepting my body for all its curves and flaws (although it’s that too), it’s committing to keeping it fit, healthy and nourished so I can look and feel the best I possibly can. And what’s more positive than that?