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Easy rye bread

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One of the things I really wanted to do this year was spend more time in the kitchen for fun (as opposed to for work, which I love too, but for different reasons). Baking bread is the ultimate in relaxation - it’s absorbing, but not taxing. I love it. I love having a loaf on the table at dinner times for people to grab a hunk and mop up whatever we’re eating. The boys both adore this bread and serving it up for breakfast seems so much nicer than sticking a couple of slices of bought white sliced in the toaster. I’ve been fiddling with rye recipes recently and I feel like I’ve really cracked it with this easy rye bread. The secret seems to be a really sticky dough, which doesn’t need kneading, followed by a nice, slow rise, both of which coincidentally make this bread really easy to make - the longer you forget it, the nicer it is!

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Eating organic on a budget - the Christmas edition

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You’ll probably remember that back in the summer, The Organic Trade Board challenged us to take the #thriftyorganic challenge and switch our usual weekly shop for a 100% organic one, all for £83, the average grocery shopping budget for a UK family of four. We ate really well AND stayed on budget, and it made me really think about what we eat, and made me plan our meals properly as well. Eating organic on a budget really is possible!

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Quick rise no knead bread with honey and buckwheat

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Sundays for me are all about cooking. It’s my relaxation time and I look forward to it all week: radio on, cup of tea (or several) and a spot of baking is just the best way to spend Sunday morning. Sometimes it’s cookies or brownies, or a dessert for Sunday dinner, but recently I’ve been baking a lot of bread and, although there have been a few disasters, I’m pretty sure that this one is just about perfect.

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Buckwheat and coconut flatbreads

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I’ve been wallying around for ages trying to create a decent gluten free/grain free flatbread. I don’t even know why the obsession started (I think it was when I was cutting down on carbs, so experimenting with coconut flour). I started out with 100% coconut, but the texture isn’t as good and they’re overwhelmingly coconutty (good with curry though, as they’re kind of like Peshwari naan). Anyhoo, the lovely chaps at Steenbergs Organic sent me a range of flours and I’ve been messing about with them. And that’s how these buckwheat and coconut flatbreads came to be.

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Easy no knead no rise Irish soda bread

Easy no knead no rise Irish soda bread

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One of the best things about living in Ireland was the amazing food. I learned so much when we lived there, and of course was spoiled with all the fabulous ingredients: Irish cheeses, butter, beef, lamb… all incredible. This easy no knead no rise Irish soda bread is one of the things I still make all the time. It’s quick to make and requires just a quick mix - no kneading, no yeast and no waiting. Perfect for breakfast (you can make a lovely sweet version by adding sugar, dried fruit and orange zest), or if you’re having soup, you can bake it while the soup cooks. Traditionally you need buttermilk, but I tend to just squeeze the juice of half a lemon into normal milk and give it a quick stir. It thickens up instantly and works the same way. I always make mine in a cast iron casserole dish, but you can put it on a baking tray too.

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Weekend baking: easy step by step banana bread

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Banana bread

Now I’ll be the first to admit that I’m terribly wasteful with bananas. Mr English only likes them when they’re green and unripe, and I only like them when they’re perfectly yellow. Once they’ve ‘gone over’ I’m afraid I tend to put them in the food recycling bin. Every so often, though, I do remember to knock up a quick banana bread. I’m afraid I’m not sure where this original recipe came from as it’s ancient and was scribbled on a scrap of paper, but it’s very reliable and incredibly easy. The actual amount of banana doesn’t really seem to matter, but keep it to two or three for best results. Oh and it’s worth adding in the extra teaspoon of baking powder, even though you’re using self raising flour, just because it lightens it up a bit.

Banana Bread

100g salted butter
175g light brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
Splash of milk
225g self raising flour
2 or 3 over-ripe bananas
1 tsp baking powder

Firstly, assemble all your ingredients and preheat the oven to 180/gas 4. I use a re-usable bake-o-glide sheet, but if you haven’t got one, make sure you grease your loaf tin well or use some parchment paper to line it.

Cream the butter and sugar until they’re light and creamy. Whisk the eggs with a fork and pop in the vanilla and the splash of milk, then you can dribble them into the mixture a little at a time, beating well between dribbles (technical term).

I favour a ‘half and half’ method to incorporate all the runny stuff, but feel free to just bung it all in if you’d rather:

So now add about half the flour, give it a beat, then add the bananas, mix again, then the other half of the flour. Don’t forget the baking powder.

Flump the mixture into the loaf tin and bake for about 45 - 50 minutes. A skewer or knife tip pushed into the deepest part should come out clean. If it’s not quite there, give it another five minutes.

This is also really gorgeous toasted for breakfast as well with a smear of butter. Before long, you’ll be willing those bananas to go brown so you can make this again!

New Year wine, a lazy loaf and a clementine drizzle cake

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Nigel Slater's lazy loaf

I love the time after Christmas when we have a few lazy days before everyone goes back to school and work. We had a quiet New Year with Gary Barlow (not literally, I’m not THAT lucky). Sam’s girlfriend has American parents and had us popping a piece of fruit into our mouths on every bong on the countdown to midnight - I think it’s a Spanish tradition, but it’s hilarious and by the last bong everyone’s cheeks were bulging and we were all drooling and laughing.

We’ve opened some really lovely wine over the festive period. At midnight, we toasted 2014 a delicious Wolf Blass Sparkling Chardonnay Pinot Noir (on spesh at Asda at £5.75 at the moment I notice - SNAP IT UP!). We also opened the front door to let the old year out and the new year in - think that one’s Irish. My own favourite wine of the season was the Cune Crianza Rioja 2010 - an absolute beaut with that hint of vanilla that I seem really drawn to. Again, on spesh at the moment I think.

Mr English is very keen on Pinot Noir. His favourite of the season was the Californian Clos du Bois Pinot Noir (Majestic, £9.99 if you buy two American wines). There’s something herbal about it (which doesn’t sound nice, but is) but it’s still full of really ripe fruit. Yum.

The Big Bro recommended a splash-out Amarone, perfect for Christmas. I’ve got this one on my wish list from Majestic: Amarone Classico ‘Vigneti di Roccolo’ 2010 Cantina Negrar. It’s a pricey one at £23 but comes down to £18 if you buy two fine wines. One for when the coffers have been replenished.

Baking-wise, I’m loving Nigel Slater’s wonderful lazy loaf. It’s a soda bread, but because it’s baked in a cast iron casserole, it develops a wonderful chewy crust. Delicious, and barely 30 minutes to make - with no kneading. I also used up the last of the Christmas clementines with a clementine drizzle cake. Exactly the same as lemon drizzle cake:

Clementine Drizzle Cake

3 eggs

Same weight (about 175g) of caster sugar, butter and self raising flour

Juice and zest of a couple of clementines.

So just weigh the eggs in their shells, then weigh out the rest of the ingredients to the same weight.

Beat the butter until soft, then add in the sugar and beat until light coloured and creamy. Add the zest and juice of the clementines to the eggs and give them a quick whisk with a fork. Add them a dribble at a time to the butter/sugar mix.

Stir in the flour, then dollop the mixture into a buttered cake tin and bake at 180 degrees/gas 4 for about 30 minutes until springy to the touch or until a knife point comes out clean.

Mix the juice of a final clementine with a couple of teaspoons of sugar and drizzle over the warm cake. Delicious.

Clementine drizzle cake

 

In pupster news, she’s settling in really well, has made a best friend at puppy classes (a cute and ridiculously soft Vizsla called Ellie) and thinks having everyone at home over Christmas is wonderful!

 

Cute

Step by step spiced chocolate Hot Cross Buns

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Spiced chocolate hot cross buns

Spiced chocolate hot cross buns

We love a hot cross bun. Well, some of us do. The Death Wish Dude thinks all things dried fruit are a bit bleurgh. So if you’ve got a dried fruit hater in your family, or if you just fancy something a bit different this Easter, here’s a recipe for some lovely chocolatey hot cross buns.

You’ll need:

  • 150ml milk
  • 150ml water
  • Zest of 1 orange
  • 50g butter
  • 425g strong white bread flour
  • 25g good quality cocoa
  • 1 tbsp mixed spice
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 75g sugar
  • 1 x 7g sachet dried yeast
  • 100g good quality chopped dark chocolate (keep the chunks quite large)

For the cross:

  • 1 tbsp flour
  • 1 tbsp cocoa
  • 1 tsp caster sugar

For the glaze:

  • 1 tbsp orange marmalade, rindless or sieved
Chopping chocolate with my new birthday mezzaluna

Chopping chocolate with my new birthday mezzaluna

Step one:

Before you start, assemble and weigh out your ingredients. This will save you time and prevent things being forgotten.

So in a small saucepan (or jug if you’re doing it in the microwave) warm the milk, water, orange zest (use the finest grater you have) and butter until the butter is just melted, then turn off the heat. Let it cool so that when you stick your finger in, it feels like blood temperature.

Step two:

While the liquid is cooling, sift the flour, cocoa and ground mixed spice together into a large bowl. Next, stir in the salt, sugar and dried yeast.

Step three:

If you’ve got a mixer, pop in all the dry ingredients, then set it on low and slowly pour in the milky mixture until the dough comes together (you might not need all of it so go steady), then plug in the dough hook and set it to knead for a good five minutes.

If you’re old-fashionedy or are still waiting to meet the mixer of your dreams (they do actually come out nicer and lighter if you knead them by hand), you’ll have to get to it for at least ten minutes adding the chocolate about half way through.

Because the chocolate is quite escapey, I found that it was best to knead it in the mixer for five minutes, then add the chocolate and knead by hand for a further few minutes. The chocolate just keeps escaping, but poke it back in.

Keep going until the dough is nice and springy and firm (as usual, think the texture of a boob, or possibly a bottom cheek - poke your finger in - if the dough springs back, then it’s done - if not, knead a bit more). Disclaimer: possibly best if you don’t actually do this with people’s boobs.

Step four:

When your dough is sufficiently springy, leave it covered with a clean tea towel in a warm place until it’s doubled in size. Then, just knock it back with your fist (be careful - I found the chocolate quite jabby!) and cut it in half, then half again and half again. Form each of your 8 pieces into a ball and place them on a floured baking tray. Cover and rise again until they’re puffed up.

Step five:

If you want to add the cross, then mix about 1 tbsp flour, 1 tbsp cocoa, a tsp of caster sugar and enough water to make into a thick paste and either just dribble it with a teaspoon, or pipe it onto your buns (ooer Missus) with a disposable piping bag. Or, you can cut a cross in the top of the buns and pipe the cross into the little lines. Totally up to you.

Piping on the chocolate cross

Piping on the chocolate cross

Step six:

Bake for about 15-20 minutes at 180/gas 6 until they sound hollow when patted on the bottom. Finally, when they’re just out of the oven, warm up the marmalade (or apricot jam) with a splash of water and brush it on for extra glossy stickiness (use rindless here - you don’t want bits of peel sticking to your buns). If you’re going to freeze them, slice them in half first so they can go straight in the toaster.

And that’s it. Hide them from your offspring until you’ve scarfed at least two. You deserve it. Oh, and here’s the reason you need to keep the chocolate chunks large. Nomnomnom:

Oozy chocolate

Oozy chocolate

If you’d rather make spiced orange hot cross buns instead, click here.

Sticky, gooey, plumptious, scrumptious, soft iced buns

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I think of all the recipes I’ve ever published, this one has been the most popular. I made them this morning and was thinking that it’s still one of my most favourite recipes - the buns are just so soft and pillowy, and the topping so delightfully sticky… there’s just nothing better - the ultimate comfort food!

I’ve updated this recipe ever so slightly (doesn’t take much to improve on perfection - I was trying to make the method a bit less waffly, but actually succeeded in putting more waffle in) but hey, the more info you’ve got, the easier it is to do it right? Right?

You will need:

450g strong white bread flour

1 tsp salt

75g caster sugar

1 x 7g sachet dried yeast

150ml milk

150ml water

50g butter

4 or 5 tbsp icing sugar

½ tsp liquid glucose

Sieve the flour into a large bowl, then stir in the salt, sugar, and dried yeast.

In a small saucepan, warm the milk, water, and butter over a low heat until the butter has just melted, then turn off the heat. The liquid should be at no more than blood temperature ( you know, so it doesn’t feel particularly hot or cold when you pop your finger in, I don’t need you to actually bleed or anything…) when it’s added to the dry ingredients. You can do this in the microwave, but remove it as soon as the butter starts to melt and stir gently until it’s all combined, otherwise you’ll be waiting for ages for it to be cool enough.

Pour most of the milky mixture into the dry ingredients and stir it around with a knife until you get a light dough. Leave it as sticky as you can bear as you want your dough plumptiously, pillow-soft. You can always add a bit of flour.

Now start kneading: with the heel of one hand, press and splurge the dough away from you, (imagine you’re smearing it across the work surface) then bring it back, squish it into a ball again, turn it over and then splurge it again. As it’s quite a wet dough this is a bit messy, but that all adds to the fun. Again, if you’re getting really covered, you can always add a bit of extra flour. As you knead it, it will become more elastic and springy and less squelchy.

When you’ve kneaded for about 5 minutes and your dough is springy and pillowy-soft and looks bizarrely like a nice, round bottom-cheek (I have to add this bit for my friend Snaffles Mummy - its her favourite bit), cover it with clingfilm and leave it in the airing cupboard or somewhere else warm until it’s doubled in size. Then, just knock it back with your fist and form it into 8 balls. Either place them on a floured baking tray or arrange them inside a springform cake tin like I did, then cover and rise again until they’re puffed up.

Bake for about 15-20 minutes at 180/gas 6. Now while they’re baking make your icing by adding a couple of teeny drops of boiling water to the icing sugar and liquid glucose (optional but it keeps the icing from setting) until you get a thick, gloopy icing.

As soon as they’re out of the oven (they’ll be pale golden and sound hollow when tapped on the bottom) drizzle the icing all over them so it runs down the sides.

Of course, this basic recipe can be jazzed up really easily - I’ve done it with pink, hibiscus icing, I’ve done birthday buns with blue icing and candles… I did black for halloween one year too.

Add a hint of spice, some orange zest and a handful of sultanas and you’re well on the way to hot cross buns, or if you fancy Chelsea buns, after the first rise, roll the dough out, spread it generously with butter, brown sugar and sultanas, maybe a little sprinkle of cinnamon, roll into a sausage and cut into rounds, arrange them flat onto a baking tray, allow to rise and then bake as before. Just be sure to ram as many into your mouth as you can before anyone else smells them and comes to investigate.

 

Step by step spiced orange hot cross buns

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Let’s face it: Easter just isn’t Easter without hot cross buns.

And chocolate.

But mostly hot cross buns.

If you’re feeling a bit daunted by the whole prospect of making your own, don’t be. Let Auntie English Mum guide you through the whole process. Think of me as a little friend hovering at your shoulder in the kitchen. Actually don’t. That’s a bit creepy.

Anyhoo, it’s really easy (with a bit of waiting around), and the gorgeous scent of these spicy orangey wonders fills the whole house. So let’s get cracking.

You’ll need:

150ml milk

150ml water

Zest of 1 orange

50g butter

450g strong white bread flour

1 tbsp mixed spice

1 tsp salt

75g sugar

1 x 7g sachet dried yeast

100g sultanas (or mixed peel if you must – bleurgh)

For the cross:

2 tbsp flour

1 tsp caster sugar

For the glaze:

1 tbsp orange marmalade, rindless or sieved

Step one:

Before you start, assemble and weigh out your ingredients. This will save you time and prevent any flapping half way through the recipe.

So in a small saucepan (or jug if you’re doing it in the microwave) warm the milk, water, orange zest (use the finest grater you have) and butter until the butter is just melted, then turn off the heat. Let it cool so that when you stick your finger in, it feels like blood temperature.

Step two:

While the liquid is cooling, sieve the flour and ground mixed spice together into a large bowl. Next, stir in the salt, sugar, dried yeast and sultanas (have a quick pick over to make sure there are no stalks left).

Step three:

If you’ve got a mixer, pop in all the dry ingredients, then set it on low and slowly pour in the milky mixture until the dough comes together (you might not need all of it so go steady), then plug in the dough hook and set it to knead for a good five minutes.

If you’re old-fashionedy or are still waiting to meet the mixer of your dreams (they do actually come out nicer and lighter if you knead them by hand), you’ll have to get to it for at least ten minutes. Yes, I know, sorry, but it’s true. Knead away, holding the dough lightly with one hand while you stretch it away from you with the other, before bringing it together and repeating the process. The sultanas keep trying to escape, but grab any of the little blighters trying to make a quick getaway and poke them back in. Keep going until the dough is nice and springy and firm (think the texture of a boob, or possibly a bottom cheek - poke your finger in - if the dough springs back, then it’s done - if not, knead a bit more). Disclaimer: possibly best if you don’t actually do this with people’s boobs.

Step four:

When your dough is sufficiently springy, leave it covered with a clean tea towel in a warm place until it’s doubled in size. Then, just knock it back with your fist and cut it in half, then half again and half again. Form each of your 8 pieces into a ball and place them on a floured baking tray. Cover and rise again until they’re puffed up.

Step five:

If you want to add the cross, then mix about 2 tbsp flour, a tsp of caster sugar and enough water to make into a thick paste and either just dribble it with a teaspoon, or pipe it onto your buns (ooer Missus) with a disposable piping bag. Or, you can cut a cross in the top of the buns and pipe the cross into the little lines. Totally up to you.

Step six:

Bake for about 15-20 minutes at 180/gas 6 until they sound hollow when patted on the bottom. Finally, when they’re just out of the oven, warm up the marmalade with a splash of water and brush it on for extra glossy stickiness (use rindless here - you don’t want bits of peel sticking to your buns). If you’re going to freeze them, slice them in half first so they can go straight in the toaster.

And that’s it. Congratulations, you are a master bun maker. Go you!

A healthier blueberry and lemon loaf

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So the weekend was somewhat traumatic. I won’t fill you in on all the events, but needless to say being trapped in a packed train carriage all the way from Shepherds Bush while the three teenagers I was escorting serenaded their fellow commuters with loud renditions of My Horse is Amazing (seriously - don’t bother watching it, it’s that bad) and then being politely told that we were, in fact, accidentally in the first class carriage, shall remain with me for a long time and was one of the lesser traumatising events of the weekend. Read out of that what you will.

Anyhoo. In other news, I’m still on the lookout for a lovely breakfasty-type recipe that’s also quite healthy (I know, I know… giving up alcohol and vowing to eat healthily for the whole of January was a BIG HUGE MISTAKE - I have learned both that I could never be teetotal, and that I can’t live without cake) still, it’s nearly over now). Yesterday I came across possibly one of the prettiest blogs I’ve ever seen: Eat Yourself Skinny. It turns out that not only is the blog pretty, but the writer, Kelly, is ridiculously pretty as well.

So I thought, well. If I eat what she eats, surely I’ll wake up looking exactly like her.

Right?

Oh.

Anyhoo, on to the trial and error. I noticed that lovely Kelly’s blueberry and lemon bread was adapted from Joy of Baking, so I went back to the original recipe to have a look. Here’s my version. I had to change it all from cups, and I decided to use rapeseed oil instead of butter (similar calories, just much better for you). The result was yummy, although the inside of the cake was a bit too stodgy, presumably because beating the butter and sugar together introduces air into the mixture. So I say stick with butter (the calories are the same). I will say, though, that cutting it into the recommended 12 portions proved to be too much of a challenge. Still, if you do manage it, you’ll be pleased to know that it’s just 159 calories a slice (might be better to cut it into 6 slices, then cut each in half). I also used a sugar substitute to keep the calories down (I know, I know, but honestly you can’t taste the difference). Lastly, I used a whole punnet of blueberries which is a bit too much. Stick to 150g.

You will need:

80g butter

6 tbsp granulated sugar substitute (try the new Truvia one - I haven’t been able to get hold of it yet)

2 eggs

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Zest of 1 lemon

225g self raising flour

125ml milk

So preheat the oven to 180/gas 4 and spray a loaf tin with cake release (or butter it very lightly).

Beat the butter in a mixer (or by hand if you’re feeling butch), then add the sugar and beat until the mixture’s really light and fluffy. Add the eggs, beating between each addition, and then the vanilla extract and lemon zest.

Stir in the flour and then the milk. Finally, stir in the blueberries

Pop the mixture into the loaf tin and bake for about 50 minutes. Pop a knife tip into the centre to check that it’s done, otherwise leave for a bit longer.

Allow it to cool before slicing into your minute portions. It really is surprisingly lush though - and the blueberries make it quite jammy and sticky too. Top tip: freeze your slices (with a piece of greaseproof paper between each one). Then they’re easy to pop into the toaster for a quick and healthy breakfast.

 

Squishy lemon iced buns with a hibiscus icing

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When I was in Dubai, I loved that they used Hibiscus in cooking, and in tea. It has a flavour - and colour - similar to cranberry - fruity but tart - so when I saw some in the Bastakiya market I nabbed some, feeling that it would be excellent around Christmas time. Here’s my first Christmassy experiment. I think it works really well.

450g strong white bread flour

1 tsp salt

75g sugar

1 x 7g sachet dried yeast

150ml milk

150ml water

50g butter

Zest of one lemon

For the icing:

2 tbsp dried hibiscus flowers

4 or 5 tbsp icing sugar

So for the soft iced buns:

Sieve the flour into a large bowl, then stir in the salt, sugar, and dried yeast. In a small saucepan, warm the milk, butter and lemon zest over a low heat until the butter has just melted, then turn off the heat. The liquid should be at no more than blood temperature when it’s added to the dry ingredients.

Pour most of the milky mixture into the dry ingredients and stir it around with a knife until you get a light dough. Leave it as sticky as you can bear as this will make the end result really soft. You can always add a bit of flour. Now start kneading: with the heel of one hand, press and splurge the dough away from you, (imagine you’re smearing it across the work surface) then bring it back, squish it into a ball again, turn it over and then splurge it again. As it’s quite a wet dough this is a bit messy, but that all adds to the fun. Again, if you’re getting really covered, you can always add a bit of extra flour. As you knead it, it will become more elastic and springy and less squelchy.

When you’ve kneaded for about 5 minutes and your dough is springy and soft (you know I’m going to do the bottom cheek analogy now, don’t you - I can’t help it) and akin to a plump baby’s bottom, cover it with clingfilm and leave it in the airing cupboard or somewhere else warm until it’s doubled in size. Then, just knock it back with your fist and form it into 8 balls. Either place them on a baking tray or arrange them inside a springform cake tin like I did, then cover and rise again until they’re puffed up.

Bake for about 15-20 minutes at 180/gas 4 until they sound hollow when tapped on the bottom (God, I’ve got some kind of bottom obsession. Sorry).

While they’re baking, you can make the icing. Take a couple of tablespoons of the dried hibiscus and just cover with boiling water. Leave to infuse. If you’re not using the hibiscus, just use cranberry juice, or even just lemon juice. Remember to add the liquid to the icing sugar and not the other way round. Dribble by dribble, keep adding liquid until the icing is thick and viscous. Too runny and it will all disappear down the sides of the buns, and too thick and it won’t dribble in a satisfactory, dribbly manner.

As soon as they’re out of the oven…

… drizzle the icing all over them so it runs down the sides…

For an added Middle Eastern touch, you could sprinkle them with crushed pistachio nuts, or for added Christmassyness some good old edible glitter, or even chopped, dried cranberries. Or all of it, if you’re feeling all daredevilly (wait, is that a word?).

As always, make these your own by adding maybe some Christmas spices, sultanas or substituting the lemon for orange.

 

Settling in with some honey and buttermilk no yeast, no rise brown bread

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So I’ve been reading up on our new abode (I know I should think of some funky new name, but I also know it will continue to be English Towers - why fight it?). The village was listed in the Domesday Book (thank you Wikipedia), and the hill overlooking the village is not only a site of special scientific interest, but crossed by the Ridgeway as well. There’s also a very old windmill here, and it’s suitably mental as it has a Bedfordshire postal address, even though it’s actually in Buckinghamshire. Perfect.

So that’s geography and stuff out the way - what else is there? Well, very near there are beautiful fields with snaking chalk paths through lovely woodland:

… and lots and lots of rosehips and crab apples (I’m thinking jelly - once I’ve got to the bottom of my Dispreputable Dad’s cooking apple mountain - another mahoosive bag appeared yesterday):

Anyhoo, with most of the unpacking done (it still looks like an explosion has occurred, but we’ve ordered chests of drawers, so it’s Not Our Fault, okay?), and a spectacular cackling and chocolate biscuit session with the gorgeous Glamorous C (she walked - WALKED! - from her house up to here. I was duly impressed), it was time to hit the kitchen…

One of English Dad’s students has his own bees and brings him pots of the most amazing Buckinghamshire honey known to man - it’s fragrant and delicious, and was used accidentally as I was making my usual soda bread but realised at the last minute I didn’t have any black treacle. I’ll never use black treacle again now as this honey makes a spectacular loaf:

100g white bread flour

450g wholemeal flour

1 tsp bicarbonate of soda

2tsp salt

400ml buttermilk (or just add the juice of 1/2 lemon to whole milk and allow to sit for a while)

1 egg

2 tbsp oil (I use the amazing local rapeseed oil)

2 tbsp honey

So preheat your newly clean, sparkly oven to 200 degrees/gas 6 and oil a loaf tin (do it well, or better still, line it with bake-o-glide, it sticks like a biatch this stuff).

Sieve the white flour and bicarb (make sure you sift the bicarb well - otherwise it will manifest itself in the finished bread as little green dots - not pleasant) then add the wholemeal flour and the salt.

Measure out the buttermilk (or lemony milk) then add in the egg, oil and honey. Whisk well.

Add to the dry ingredients and stir until combined. Flop the mixture straight into the loaf tin and straight into the oven. This is lazy person’s bread - no rising or kneading here.

Bake for 45 minutes to an hour or until the bottom is hollow when you tap it (ooer missus). I take it out of the loaf tin around 45 minutes just to make sure the bottom is baked and gets a crust too.

This recipe is gorgeous with added nuts and seeds, but won’t keep, so if you’re not going to scoff it straight away, slice and freeze it for instant yummy breakfast toast.

Thank you Buckinghamshire bees! I can see I’m going to be very happy here.

Cheese Bread Wedges

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What is it about Heinz tinned soups? They’re actually pretty disgusting - I mean, how do they get that gelatinous texture? It doesn’t bear thinking about. And the mushroom flavour, which is #1’s preferred choice, is frankly revolting. Too creamy, oddly grey in colour and, well, mushrooms don’t really taste like that, do they. And then there’s the tomato flavour. It’s bloody orange, for goodness sake. If there’s a power cut you could just crack one open and bingo - you’d all be able to see by the luminous orange glow emanating from the tin. But hey, on a lazy Saturday afternoon, sometimes only a tin of soup will do (I favour Baxter’s curried vegetable and lentil one personally) and I often whip up these little beauties, which are actually more scone than bread, to dunk in a revoltingly bad mannered way, into the bowl.

8 oz self raising flour

1 1/2 oz butter

4 oz cheese

1 egg

1/4 pint milk

So put your flour into a bowl, season generously with salt and pepper, then rub in the butter just like you would for, say, a crumble or whatever until it looks breadcrumby. Grate the cheese and stir into the flour mixture with a fork until well blended (you don’t want big lumps of cheese). Then measure out your milk in a jug, add the egg and whisk until combined. Pour slowly into the floury cheesy mixture, mixing until it just comes together and makes a soft dough. You can reserve any leftover egg/milk mixture to brush onto the top before baking.

So tip it out and give it a gentle knead just until it comes together in a nice ball. Flatten it out until it’s about 2″ thick and vaguely circular and then just divide it into six or eight wedges. Brush with the leftover milky mixture and bake at 200 degrees for about 15 minutes. Eat warm with your weirdly gelatinous soup, or with a nice salad, or with cheese and pickle…mmmmmmm…

By the way, if you’re having a posh dinner party, these are amazing made with, say, half and half cheddar and parmesan and a sprinkle of chopped rosemary, or with snipped chives and a teaspoon of mustard, or any other flavourings you can think of. Chopped sundried tomato and fresh basil would be lovely with a fresh tomato salad. Much easier than baking bread rolls and with a lovely soft texture.

Mini Fruit Soda Breads

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So we’ve got a house-load this weekend. Me Mam’s over with my twin niece and nephew (The Fleas). The house has echoed to the sounds of thudding little feet, MarioKart wars, raucous laughter and (occasionally) indignant argument. Cries of ‘I’m hungry!’, ‘ow, get off!’, ‘it’s my turn!’ fill the air, and I’ve yet to sleep in past 7am (6am this morning with the clocks going back).

But it’s lovely to see them and fantastic for my two as they miss them loads. So this morning we had a huge, final breakfast with croissants, pains au chocolat, baguettes and these yummy little fruit soda breads, adapted from Rachel Allen’s recipe which I must have tried ten times and just couldn’t get to work for some reason.

1lb (450g) plain flour
1tsp salt
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
25g sugar
100g sultanas
1 egg
350 - 400ml buttermilk (or just sour some normal milk with juice of ½ lemon)

So first, whack your oven on as high as it’ll go and weigh out your dry ingredients. Make sure you sieve the flour, salt, and bicarbonate of soda really well. If you don’t, little bits of soda will show up in your finished scones as green lumps. Not very appetising. Then stir in the sugar and sultanas.

Crack the egg into a jug and give it a whisk, then add your buttermilk (or if you’re not using buttermilk, remember to add the lemon juice to the milk), topping it up to about 400ml altogether. You might need a bit extra but I never do.

Pour the milk mixture bit by bit into the flour, stirring with a fork. You’ll probably find you won’t need all the liquid but that’s fine as you can use it to glaze them at the end. It’s a bit messy but be patient as it’ll come together into a nice soft dough. Turn out on a floured board and pat into a big flat squareish shape. Cut into 9 or 12 or whatever, depending on how big you want them. Brush with the leftover milk mixture and sprinkle with crunchy brown sugar.

Stick your little soda breads on a baking tray (non stick preferably) and bake them on the high setting for about eight minutes (I had to turn mine round half way through as my oven doesn’t cook very evenly). Then after the eight minutes turn them down to about 200 (gas 6) for the last five or six minutes. Watch them just in case as the smaller the buns the less time they’ll need. They’ll sound hollow when you tap them if they’re done.

Serve warm with lots of butter to melt into them and enjoy the (brief) silence.

Proper Irish Brown Bread

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Now I’ll confess I have a tendency to fiddle with recipes. Usually this is just a personal taste thing, or sometimes it can be because they’ve got too many ingredients and I can’t be arsed to put them all in. This time it’s because I live in the middle of bloody nowhere and couldn’t actually find some of the ingredients. The original recipe from my mate 73 (he adds 3 tbsp bran and 2 tsp wheat germ, as well as the odd handful of nuts or seeds) is linked here and is incredibly good so please try it out. Here’s my pared down tinkered-about-with version of Mr 73’s proper Irish brown bread which we scoffed, in its entirety about 5 seconds after it came out of the oven

300g coarse brown flour
200g plain white flour
½ tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
1 tbsp black treacle
450 - 500ml milk

Put all the dry ingredients into a bowl and mix thoroughly. Add the black treacle then enough milk to combine into a lovely pasty mess.

Butter a loaf tin then bake in a pre-heated oven for 20 minutes at gas 6 (200º), then another hour at gas 3 (170º).

It’s a testament to the simplicity of this recipe that one of my kids turned the oven off by accident half way through cooking. When I discovered, I quickly turned it back on and it still came out perfect. It makes a beautiful, moist, dense loaf, which is crying out for a thick covering of butter and some really good jam. Nice one, 73.