English Mum’s ‘baked with love’ Bakeoff - who says romance is dead?

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So it’s bakeoff time again! I wanted to do something around Valentine’s day, because you guys always bake the most amazing things, BUT I don’t want to limit you all to just heart-shaped things, oh no. So our theme for this bakeoff is ‘baked with love‘.

If you’re not loved up, but just want to bake yourself a big mahoosive cake to eat in bed while watching a film, that’s fine too. First, then, to the housekeeping:

The Rules

Because we’re rebels who ride with the wind in our hair and laugh in the face of danger (or something), the rules are few and far between, to be honest, but I know some of you love a rule or two, so just for you:

1. You’ve actually got to bake something - preferably connected to the theme (although see below re: sneaky rule breaking)

2. You must take a picture (you won’t get far with any of that ‘the dog ate it’ nonsense)

3. You must email it to me at english[dot]towers[at]gmail[dot]com, telling me what it is and who you are. Entries must be received by midnight on the closing date, which is, of course, the day before Valentine’s Day, the 13th February.

The Cheaty Bit

As usual, a healthy bit of downright sneakiness is to be encouraged, and any entertaining reason why your entry should be considered will be looked upon favourably. For example, if your trifle is beautiful, but obviously not exactly baked, let me know. I’m a flexible type and I’ll probably allow it. No lying though.

BUT…

Okay, a bit of lying then, but not too much…

The Techy Bit

If you’re a blogger, please link back to this post, and if you’re a tweeter, please use the hashtag #madewithlovebakeoff . If you would like to display the ‘baked with love’ badge, you can download it from the links below. There are two sizes to choose from.

‘Baked with Love’ badge - 200px

‘Baked with Love’ badge - 150px

If you’re neither, then just pretend this bit never happened. Moving on, then… nothing to see here…

The Exciting Bit! (and the judgy bit - they’re combined this time)

That most wondrous and luscious of wine experts: the fragrant, and frankly fabulous Helen from Knackered Mothers’ Wine Club has very kindly agreed to be our judge. Not only that, but she’s also offered to provide the winner with a bottle of pink fizz!!

Entries will be displayed in one enormous blog post and accompanied by the usual descent into hysteria while I get all hot and bothered about uploading and labels and all that other complicated stuff. Follow me on Twitter to witness the carnage in real-time hissy fit tweets as they happen.

The Small Printy Bit

As usual, all attempts at bribery and any dubious approaches must be made direct to the judge (hint: she likes wine) and not via this blog. The judge’s decision is final.

This competition is open to all comers, regardless of location, although if you live in Outer Mongolia we might have a bit of trouble posting you a bottle of fizz, but hey, we’re triers so don’t let that stop you. There is no cash alternative to the prize.

So that’s it, then. You’ve got loads of time, plenty of inspiration, and some very ambiguous rules. GO TO IT, TEAM!

 

Micky bickies (OFFICE WARNING: naughty biscuit photo alert)

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Waaay before we were good buddies, on our first trip to Disneyworld Florida, my fellow bloggers, the Disney 7 (well, the other 6), were most perplexed by the fact that any time anyone from Disney mentioned the ‘hidden Mickeys’ placed all around the resorts and parks, I dissolved into snorty cackling. It didn’t matter how much I tried. One mention of a mickey and that was it - my shoulders would shake… tears would spring into my eyes… It’s so much worse when nobody gets what you’re even laughing about.

The thing is, in Ireland a mickey is a… well, it’s a willy.

Hence, ‘searching for hidden mickeys’ brought a whole new mental picture to mind than gaily flouncing about trying to spot little mouse shapes.

Anyhoo, I digress.

Recently, I was the recipient of a very solemn phone call from school. Apparently the Death Wish Dude had been caught defacing another pupil’s book. Three of them were involved. The others being George (of George’s brownies fame) and another of the Dude’s buddies, a girl.

Reader, I was shocked.

He’s a silly bugger, but he’s a good kid. And I can’t imagine him doing anything malicious. I told this to the teacher. She agreed.

Apparently it wasn’t malicious at all:

The crime - this terrible crime that warranted a telephone call to his parents? He’d drawn a willy.

A willy.

It was all I could do not to laugh. However, I solemnly accepted that this behaviour was not to be encouraged, and promised to give him a stern talking to.

I did.

I said to him: ‘you tit’.

Anyhoo, this incident has set in motion a willy-themed madness in the Dude and his mates, culminating in his whipping up a little present for them in the kitchen last night. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you…

The willy cookie. Or ‘cockie’ as it became known on Twitter last night. Or for you Irish people, the ‘mickey bickie’ (thanks to Aoife for that one).

His father took one look at it and said ‘blimey. If that’s what he thinks they look like he’s not been paying enough attention in biology’.

 

 

Review: Vax Voice consumer testing: the Vax Air Total Home cylinder cleaner

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So as you’ll know if you read the last review, I’m part of the Vax Voice team. Basically I get to try out Vax products and give honest feedback about them. This time I let English Grandma have a go (I was going to tell her it was her Christmas present, but she’d already read about me being a Vax Voice reviewer - dammit).

Grandma got to try out the new Vax Air Total Home cylinder cleaner (model number: C89-MA-T). Over to Grandma, then:

Opening the box proved rather daunting as I was faced with numerous, [11 in all], parts and attachments, and feared my lack of assembling skills would hinder using the machine!

However, most of the packets turned out to be attachments [hard floor brush, crevice, dusting and upholstery tools etc] and the vacuum cleaner itself only needed minimal assembly – I have to say I haven’t yet tried out all the extras. It is a bagless cylinder model, light and simple to use, easily cleared of blockages, with a separate little compartment to catch the occasional coin or child’s game part lost under the bed or sofa!

The Vax Mach Air was an immediate success on my carpets – the dirt container was soon full of pet hair from my, as I thought, reasonably clean sitting room carpet, and it gave me great satisfaction to empty [and re-fill!] it twice more on going through the house. Now I do know my dog is extra hairy and seems to moult all year round, but I am now confident that I can make my carpets practically hair free with the new machine, which obviously they hadn’t been before.

It stores compactly too, with a ‘parking slot’ to keep the extension tube tidily in place when the cleaner is not in use.

And English Grandma’s verdict?

Much recommended, and I will try out some of the attachments in the future.

Big thanks for Vax for providing the machine for review, and a big, mahoosive snog for our tester, English Grandma xx

For more information, check out www.vax.co.uk.

A healthier blueberry and lemon loaf

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So the weekend was somewhat traumatic. I won’t fill you in on all the events, but needless to say being trapped in a packed train carriage all the way from Shepherds Bush while the three teenagers I was escorting serenaded their fellow commuters with loud renditions of My Horse is Amazing (seriously - don’t bother watching it, it’s that bad) and then being politely told that we were, in fact, accidentally in the first class carriage, shall remain with me for a long time and was one of the lesser traumatising events of the weekend. Read out of that what you will.

Anyhoo. In other news, I’m still on the lookout for a lovely breakfasty-type recipe that’s also quite healthy (I know, I know… giving up alcohol and vowing to eat healthily for the whole of January was a BIG HUGE MISTAKE - I have learned both that I could never be teetotal, and that I can’t live without cake) still, it’s nearly over now). Yesterday I came across possibly one of the prettiest blogs I’ve ever seen: Eat Yourself Skinny. It turns out that not only is the blog pretty, but the writer, Kelly, is ridiculously pretty as well.

So I thought, well. If I eat what she eats, surely I’ll wake up looking exactly like her.

Right?

Oh.

Anyhoo, on to the trial and error. I noticed that lovely Kelly’s blueberry and lemon bread was adapted from Joy of Baking, so I went back to the original recipe to have a look. Here’s my version. I had to change it all from cups, and I decided to use rapeseed oil instead of butter (similar calories, just much better for you). The result was yummy, although the inside of the cake was a bit too stodgy, presumably because beating the butter and sugar together introduces air into the mixture. So I say stick with butter (the calories are the same). I will say, though, that cutting it into the recommended 12 portions proved to be too much of a challenge. Still, if you do manage it, you’ll be pleased to know that it’s just 159 calories a slice (might be better to cut it into 6 slices, then cut each in half). I also used a sugar substitute to keep the calories down (I know, I know, but honestly you can’t taste the difference). Lastly, I used a whole punnet of blueberries which is a bit too much. Stick to 150g.

You will need:

80g butter

6 tbsp granulated sugar substitute (try the new Truvia one - I haven’t been able to get hold of it yet)

2 eggs

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Zest of 1 lemon

225g self raising flour

125ml milk

So preheat the oven to 180/gas 4 and spray a loaf tin with cake release (or butter it very lightly).

Beat the butter in a mixer (or by hand if you’re feeling butch), then add the sugar and beat until the mixture’s really light and fluffy. Add the eggs, beating between each addition, and then the vanilla extract and lemon zest.

Stir in the flour and then the milk. Finally, stir in the blueberries

Pop the mixture into the loaf tin and bake for about 50 minutes. Pop a knife tip into the centre to check that it’s done, otherwise leave for a bit longer.

Allow it to cool before slicing into your minute portions. It really is surprisingly lush though - and the blueberries make it quite jammy and sticky too. Top tip: freeze your slices (with a piece of greaseproof paper between each one). Then they’re easy to pop into the toaster for a quick and healthy breakfast.

 

You know you love me, right?

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As the parent of teenagers, there are certain opening sentences that strike fear into the bottom of my bottom. One of these, used by both de brevren on a regular basis is ‘Mum… you know you love me, right?’ to which I have to dutifully reply ‘yeeeees’? and wait, cringing slightly, for the bombshell that follows.

The answer can be a miriad of different horrors… a recent selection include:

‘Well, that’s good because I got an F in my Maths mock’

Shiiiiiit.

‘Well, that’s good because I think I lost that tenner you gave me. What? I put it in my sock for safe keeping…’

‘Well that’s good because I want you to take me to that big skate park in London on Saturday…’

Yup. That sort of thing.

Very occasionally they keep me on my toes with:

‘Good. ‘Cos I love you too’

And then I have to look all non-cringey and pretend I wasn’t expecting something really bad.

The Gatwick Passenger Panel meeting: buggies, castles… and snazzy toilets

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So I was back at Gatwick today for the next Passenger Panel Meeting. As you probably remember, I’m a member of the panel and I’m there to represent families.

We’re a funny bunch, us families. The trouble is, we need so many different things to make us happy… we’d like our journey through the airport to ‘flow’ (this is a word that crops up a lot), and we’d really rather not cause a big fuss (nothing guaranteed to get you worked into a tizz faster than someone standing behind you rolling their eyes and tutting as you struggle with a toddler and a pushchair). We’d like a bit of help on occasions, yes, BUT we don’t want to be seen to be making ‘a fuss’ or to be singled out for ‘special’ treatment exactly… it’s a tough one.

Before the meeting, I asked around my friends and on Twitter about what parents really want when travelling, and how Gatwick (and the other airports - this panel is designed to help everyone, really) can help. Several things came up, so let’s deal with them one by one:

Getting through security

This can be a nightmare (see aforementioned struggling and tutting). It was mentioned in our last meeting and happily, Gatwick listened and did something about it. Something brilliant.

They’ve now introduced a new ‘Assistance/Family’ security area, where families, disabled travellers and others needing a bit of help will get one to one service, friendly help and, in conjunction with a local school, they’ve even designed a special body X-ray machine that looks like a castle! The scanner thingies are extra large to accommodate buggies (no more levering your buggy through one-handed while clutching a child with the other) and at busy times, Gatwick provide extra people to help. The area has been open since December, so make sure you look for the signs. Spot on, I reckon.

Something for children to do while waiting in the departure lounge

Lots of people asked about soft play areas/toys, etc, to keep children occupied while you’re waiting to go. Few people know that there are already ‘kids zones’ in both terminals with a separate area for the children to have a play, and watch TV and plenty of seating for parents too.

In the South Terminal, the play areas are upstairs in the departure lounge opposite Café Rouge, and in the North Terminal they’re behind Boots. Seek them out!

We also talked about the possibility of providing children’s entertainers and other special events during busy times like the school holidays, something that Gatwick have done before with great results.

Returning home - buggies and Immigration

Picture the scene: you’ve just dragged yourself off a night flight. You’ve got a grumpy toddler (or two) and an older one that’s tired and irritable. You get off the plane with your hand luggage and have to carry the toddler all the way to the baggage area to collect your buggy. This is made worse by the fact that the baggage reclaim is packed and you daren’t put them down in case they disappear in the crowd. Sound familiar? Thought so. One of my friends, Catherine, said: ‘it can be a very long walk from gate to arrivals, especially when carrying a toddler and with the long queues seen recently’. Also, someone else pointed out that, annoyingly, they’re often the very last things to come through.

The problem, apparently, is that once something is in the hold, protocol says that it can only be unloaded with the other baggage and picked up on the belts. This is obviously too late for parents, who need a buggy when they get off the plane. Gatwick are working hard with the airlines to provide a solution for this. One idea, which I quite like, is to provide free ‘airline buggies’ for parents to borrow that they can then give back at the terminal once they’re reunited with their own buggy.

And that dreadful queue at Immigration? Well this isn’t directly managed by Gatwick Airport, but they do work in conjunction with Immigration and have already implemented assistance lanes to help families get through faster. And obviously new technology being introduced (the new ‘chip’ passports in particular), will also help to speed up transition through Immigration too.

And finally…

Next time you’re at the South terminal check out their new toilets. Gatwick have spent loads of time and effort (and a good few quid too) making the toilets absolutely blingy and fabulous. Each cubicle has tons of room, plus its own sink and hand dryer too, so you don’t even have to share tap space with anyone. Awesome.

If there’s anything you’d like me to bring up at the next meeting, do let me know. And do check out Gatwick’s information about flying with children on their website. You’ll even find a few little hints and tips from yours truly!

I must add here that it’s REALLY important when travelling with your loved ones that you make sure you have really good travel insurance. We use Endsleigh, who’ve never let us down.

George’s perfect chocolate brownies

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Moving swiftly on from healthy eating, then, we must remember there are those of us at English Towers (the gangly, floppy haired ones and the skatery types) that still want a little something after school or dinner and demand treats, preferably piled up in an ungainly, chocolatey tower when doing A level revision.

This, and I don’t say this lightly, is my best chocolate brownie recipe ever. I make it such a lot that I know it off by heart. Oh yes, it’s been tweaked and added to (pistachios, chopped up Cadbury Fudge bars, rum-soaked raisins), but the plain old dark chocolate version is the one we love. I also have to make this whenever the Death Wish Dude’s lovely mate, George, comes to visit as he’s a bit of a fan. You’ll need:

200g dark chocolate (I swear by Bournville - already in a handy 200g size, dark but not too bitter)

170g salted butter (MUST be salted - or add a pinch if using unsalted)

3 eggs

200g soft brown sugar (caster is fine if you don’t have any)

110g plain flour

Preheat the oven to gas 4/180 degrees.

Melt the butter and chocolate in a bain-marie (you know the drill… bowl over a saucepan of just-simmering water – don’t let the bottom of the bowl come into contact with water). Turn the water off when it’s just bubbling and stir the mixture gently until it’s combined. Take it off the heat and allow to cool to room temperature.

Whisk the eggs and sugar together until light and frothy, then pour in the cooled chocolate/butter mixture, stir well, then add in the flour and any extras you’re adding (nuts… raisins… smarties… whatever). Stir briefly until the flour disappears.

Pour into a well-lined baking tin (I use a lasagne tin, but a square cake tin will do). Bake for about 30 minutes or until the top is cracked and shiny. The centre should still be slightly soft. Serve warm with ice cream (or if you’re serving as a dessert, whisk some cream with a bit of icing sugar and a slug of booze) or allow to cool and place in an airtight container

One word of warning: cut them small. They won’t last long.

Review: hellofresh.co.uk

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Did you watch the Sport Relief version of the Great British Bakeoff? I was actually quite struck by how, if you don’t cook much, it’s actually quite difficult to get your head around it (case in point: Arlene Phillips not knowing that you had to line a pastry-filled tart tin before pouring in the baking beans). The same goes for healthy eating, really - if you want to move away from chucking a pizza in the oven when you get home from work, but have no clue how to do it, where on earth do you start?

This thought occurred to me again when I was approached by hellofresh.co.uk. They offer a delivery service with a difference - they basically deliver all the ingredients PLUS a recipe that’s easy to follow, taking all the hard work and guess work out of it. I was quite impressed. Tell me more, I said to Caitlin.

So first you pop to their website - tell them how many there are in the household and choose how many meals you want, and they do the rest. They do all the shopping, and it appears at your door on a Monday evening between 5 and 9pm with recipes, all ready to go. All the meals area easy to do and take under 30 minutes to prepare, with no fancy schmancy cheffy tools required.

The sample recipe was, I have to say, very impressive: a chicken breast with creamy rocket risotto and tomatoes for 2 people:

2 chicken breasts
6 cherry tomatoes
200g risotto rice
1 onion
1 piece of garlic
500ml chicken broth
75g creme fraiche
50g rocket
50g Parmesan cheese
Prices work out to just over four quid a meal, which I don’t think is bad, especially considering they’ve done all the thinking and the shopping for you. The meals have been designed by a team of chefs in conjunction with nutritionists too.
The only downside is that at the moment, the service is only available in the London area. Hopefully this area will expand as the service takes off. I have a sneaking suspicion that it will.

Healthier baking - a bit of sciencey stuff, and a great recipe for banana, oat and honey muffins

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Okay so not exactly science… just baking jiggery pokery really.

First, can I say that I’m not a fan of processed low-fat ANYTHING. If I’m going to spread butter on my bread it’s going to be butter (Yeo Valley out of preference), and nothing remotely low-fatty or weirdly whipped with water.

Still, it’s the New Year and while I love my cakey buns, I’m determined to shed a few Christmas pounds, and when you’re healthy eating, sometimes the worst thing to get over is a craving for something sweet. A banana or handful of raisins will often do the trick, but let’s face it, you can’t beat cake. The worst thing about cake is, well, everything really - fat, sugar and refined white flour are possibly the things that most of us are trying to avoid.

Enter stage left, the well-loved but often under-appreciated Mr Muffin. He’s smaller, more portable and, in lower-fat baking terms, easier to keep moist. Bless him.

So what’s the difference between a muffin and a cupcake (or fairy cake)? Well, I’d say a muffin is more breakfasty and bready, and a cupcake is more, well, cakey. Also I find that muffin recipes tend to contain oil, while cupcakes are more buttery, and more often than not are iced too. But hey, a cake is a cake is a cake, right? HOWEVER. There are substitutes you can make in baking, and it IS possible to make a healthier version. So let’s attack these babies one at a time, shall we?

FAT

Fat plays an important part in a cake recipe. Butter, for a start, adds flavour, but more than that (and without getting too technical) it’s essential for lightness, as it plays a part in holding the air bubbles you’ve produced (by whisking the eggs and adding stuff like baking powder) and keeps the cake soft by ‘wrapping’ itself around the protein in the flour.

So. You can’t get rid of it completely, therefore use it wisely and make sure the fat you do use is good for you. Rapeseed oil is excellent (I’ve talked about it before here). You can, however, cut it down and replace some of it with other moist ingredients like fruit (apple purée or mashed banana, prunes, squished peaches…) or low-fat dairy like yoghurt and creme fraiche. Yes, you’ll reduce the lightness a little bit, but you can get away with it.

SUGAR

Sugar obviously adds flavour (and again, without getting too technical, it inhibits gluten development, which, when allowed to run rampant can make cakes and biscuits a bit hard) and it also helps with browning. If you’re using fruit as a substitute fat, this can help with sweetness too, and it can help with browning as cutting down sugar can sometimes make cakes look a bit insipid. Honey can help here as it’s much better for us and has natural sweetness.

REFINED FLOUR

If you’re reducing fat and sugar, you’re going to give yourself the problem of toughness (remember the protein ‘wrapping’ and gluten development I mentioned above? This is why an awful lot of low-fat foods have TONS of sugar in - it’s not just flavour, it’s about a tender end result as well). So what else can we do? Well, we can reduce the gluten in the first place, by replacing some of it with things like oats, which are much lower in gluten-producing proteins. You can also experiment with low-gluten flours like rye flour. Wholemeal flour is obviously a healthier option too and should contain less gluten (although I’m being cautious here, as this isn’t always the case).

Other tips for low-fat baking:

So now I’ve bored you to death with all this talk of gluten and ‘wrapping’, here are a couple of other things to consider:

Experiment. You might love a recipe made with peach purée but hate mashed banana. You might find that a recipe is too tough, but taking away a little flour and adding another handful of oats can make a terrific difference. Have a play. The only thing you’ll lose is the odd cake or batch of muffins (which will probably still be nice enough to eat anyway).

Try just cutting the fat down on a normal recipe. You can often eliminate a third or even half the amount of butter without doing that much damage to the finished cake (trust me).

Lessen cooking times to retain moisture - with lower fat baking, you might find your cakes need less time in the oven. This is often why muffins are better than cakes - they require much less oven time.

Remember the GMR. The Golden Muffin Rule is most applicable when healthy baking - stir ONLY as much as necessary. Working the mixture will develop the gluten and toughen up your end result.

If you find your recipe is a bit dense, try beating the egg whites and folding them into the mixture.

And finally, DON’T ever bother cooking with low-fat butter or margarine type thingies. They are the spawn of the devil and should be avoided at all costs. Bleurgh.

So here’s my recipe for healthier muffins. They’re not sweet, delicate little cupcakes, but for a healthy breakfast, they’re pretty unbeatable. Try stirring through a handful of blueberries or some raisins too:

Banana, oat and honey healthy muffins

So…preheat your oven to gas 4/180. Pop paper cases into a 12 hole muffin tin.

First combine your wet ingredients:

1 large egg

120g low fat yoghurt

120g milk

2 tablespoons rapeseed oil

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 large or 2 small bananas, mashed

1 or 2 tbsp honey

Then get all the dry ingredients ready in another bowl:

50g porridge oats

100g golden caster sugar

60g wholemeal flour

150g plain flour

1 tsp bicarbonate of soda

1 tsp baking powder

Now, bung the wet into the dry and quickly combine with a fork (remember the GMR - don’t worry if there’s the odd bit of flour left). Pop a tablespoon of mixture into each muffin case and get them into the oven quickly.

Bake for 15 - 20 minutes (remember, the moister the better). They won’t keep more than a day or two (in an airtight tin), but they’re a great healthy breakfast or sweet treat to keep you on the straight and narrow, or to shut the kids up when they’re after cakeage and you don’t want them rolling around like fat little barrels. Oops, a bit non-PC there. Sorry.

A word of warning here, though, if you eat all 12 with three cups of tea, then possibly the ‘healthy’ tag doesn’t apply.

Just saying.

In which the Ninja Cat of Death causes ABH and falls off a window ledge

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Cats.

Gorgeous, fluffy, plumptious, cuddly balls of loveliness.

Or in our case, vile, evil, furry balls of complete hatred (bar 2.2 minutes of purriness around dinner time).

When we got Ninja as a kitten, she was already horrible. I think the toddlers at the place where we bought her had been allowed free rein and the poor thing had virtually been hugged to death. So in Ninja’s view, humans = forced cuddles and being carried around by your head. She probably needs therapy.

Still, she occasionally quite likes the Mad Prof and will deign to lie on his bed while he plays XBox as long as there is no actual bodily contact. Yesterday, my happy viewing of Giorgio Locatelli in Sicily was interrupted by a blood-curdling yell.

Turns out, he broke the golden no contact rule, and while rushing to get his hand away from the hissing, snarling Ninja had smacked himself in the face, pushing the nose bit of his glasses into the bridge of his nose, actually drawing blood.

The air was blue.

Still, she provides the odd bit of entertainment, like this morning when she jumped up onto the kitchen windowsill, didn’t realise it was icy, slid off and landed on a heap in the patio.

What? Of course I didn’t laugh.

Where should I go on holiday? Year round climates.

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I think I’m quite annoying. Alright, I KNOW I’m quite annoying. I’m one of those ‘yay, it’s January! Let’s make plans!’ type people. And while the rest of the family (and possibly the world) are mired in depression about putting on weight or going back to work, I’ve got a fresh notebook, a new pen and am busy planning where I want to go on holiday this year (Boston, France, Cornwall and possibly back to Goa, if you must know. Oh and maybe Greece? Ooh and Italy? Sicily! Oh I can’t decide.)

Thomson have come up with this nifty little infographic (which I’ve stolen for you - I’m good like that), where you choose the month you want to travel, how hot you want it to be, and then it’ll show you the cities that match your requirements. Magic.

Oh and if you book anything, I’m happy to come along as a consultant, or something. You’re welcome!


Click image to open interactive version (via Thomson Holidays).

Review: Hotter Comfort Concept Shoes

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This review did not start well.

When Hotter first contacted me and offered me a pair of boots to review, my initial reaction was ‘erm… aren’t they a bit, well, aren’t they for… erm… older people?’

I looked on the website and honestly didn’t see too many styles that I thought would suit me.

Anyhoo. I kept my opinions to myself (unlike me, to be honest, generally I’m a chronic blurter) and chose a pair of fur and leather boots off their website. They came. I unpacked them. I thought they were okay. I wore them.

And wore them.

And wore them.

They’ve tramped round muddy fields (and been subject to undignified hosing off in the garden afterwards), pounded pavements, trudged round Portobello market and Christmas shopped at Westfield. They’ve cleaned out the garage (not on their own, they’re not that clever), collected Christmas trees, been holly collecting and even to parents’ evening.

They are, I’m happy to say, completely waterproof, and the suede is still unmarked and lovely, and the fur has remained gorgeously soft and unmatted, with very regular use. Fabulous quality.

The one problem with them, I think, is that they’re not massively trendy. I can’t even put my finger on why - maybe it’s the seams on the top of the foot?

BUT. They’re SO warm, and so comfy and so easy to pull on, and look so great with jeans, that I’ve just completely fallen in love with them. And now I wouldn’t give them up.

So, Mr Hotter (or Mrs Hotter, maybe) - please give us some trendier styles and I will be your avid and loyal customer forever more.

The boots reviewed were Heaven (currently in the sale with £20 quid off).

 

Thrifty brisket: a beautiful slow-braised beefy treat.

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Brisket

So, starting the year as we mean to go on, then, my next recipe is a little belter. Brisket is a firm favourite in our house. I love it because it’s a ‘bung it in and forget about it’ type of recipe, and the brevren and Hubby like the meltingly tender meat and rich sauce. We have it with mashed potato usually (not really your diet option, so substitute with mashed sweet potato or maybe puréed parsnip, if you’re watching the poundage) and it always does at least two meals. Our lovely local butcher does a great brisket joint (I’ve not weighed it, unfortunately - I’ll remember next time) quite reasonably too.

The anatomy lesson

First, then, the cut. Don’t let the look of it put you off: it’s kind of a rolled up bit of meat with a covering of fat. And yes, it’s possibly one of the cheaper cuts, but slow-roasted, well, braised, technically, it’s delicious. If you imagine a cow (come on, join in), imagine where its breast would be, kind of between its front legs, and that’s where the brisket is (thanks as always to Jimmy’s Farm for my rather dodgy butchery knowledge - ‘first, take your cow…’), so it does a bit of work and therefore has its fair share of connective tissue. A long, slow cook is what’s needed here, then, and you’ll be rewarded by a luscious, tender result.

Recipe

It’s a bit of a laugh to even CALL this a recipe, frankly. All you’ll need is onions and stock. If, like me, you occasionally snaffle leftover bits and bobs of soup and gravy and bag them in the freezer, this is the time to get them all out. A little leftover tomato pasta sauce (as I’ve used below) and a little leftover beef gravy will all go towards making this sauce even more delicious. Still, if all you have is a couple of stock cubes that’s fine too.

It’s difficult to give an exact estimate because you’ll need enough liquid to cover the beef and this will depend on the size of your casserole, but you might need a couple of litres, give or take.

You’ll also need a good, sturdy ovenproof casserole with a lid.

Method

Preheat the oven to gas 4/180.

Heat up a tablespoon of oil in your heavy pot and chuck in one or two sliced onions. Heat gently until they’re translucent, then reserve them while you crank up the heat and pop in your brisket. Give it a good browning on all sides (this all adds to the flavour), then add back the onions. Pour in the stock (adding in any leftover bits of sauces or gravies you’ve previously frozen), making sure it’s well covered. Don’t season it at this stage, as stock (and leftover gravy) can be a bit salty, plus you’re going to concentrate it.

Pop on the lid and put it into the oven for a couple of hours. You can just leave it the full four hours, but I like to give it a little twiddle after two:

Carefully lift out the meat onto a board, snip the strings holding the meat in a roll and discard them. This will ‘uncurl’ your brisket and allow you to cut it up into two or three manageable chunks. Once you’ve done this, you can see where the extra fat is and trim it all off (this obviously makes it a lot more healthy too). Pop it back into the stock, topping up if it’s looking a bit low, and sprinkle over a tablespoon of plain flour. This will give the finished sauce a bit of ‘oomph’ - again, not compulsory. Put the lid back on and leave it for another couple of hours.

The finished result will be melty, soft meat and a rich, gorgeous sauce. Taste to check the seasoning, then serve, as above, with mashed sweet potato, or even rice, and plenty of veggies.

The leftover meat can be sliced and used in sandwiches or whatever, but I like to take two forks and shred it into the sauce. I either freeze it, or use it the next day, maybe with a little extra squirt of tomato purée, spooned over pasta.

The tomatoey version

Twiddles

As you know, I love a twiddle, and this is MADE for twiddling. I’ve made a spicy version for friends, with lots of spices added and fried off with the onions at the beginning, and some of the stock replaced with tomato passata, and I’ve also done a vegetable-enhanced one with chopped leek, carrots and potatoes popped in when the meat has about an hour to go. Delicious.

Buying online

The success of this dish will be dictated by the quality of the meat used. If you don’t have a local butcher, or yours isn’t able to supply you with the cut or breed you need, you can order from new online butchers, Farmison.

 

 

 

 

Healthy recipes: lentil and vegetable soup (remember, lentils are your friend)

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So, after promising you a couple of healthy recipes, I then buggered off and promptly forgot all about them. Sorry.

Anyhoo, here I am, back live and a week into my alcohol free month. It’s going well. It’s going really well. I feel fab - and after the amazing facial, my skin’s feeling fab too. I’m drinking much more water (Katy told me that your body often mistakes thirst for hunger) and one of the biggest changes for me has been lunch. I’ve switched from a sandwich and a packet of crisps, to a bowl of soup, and it’s made an amazing difference.

Why switch to soup?

Well, firstly, if you make it yourself, you know exactly what’s in it. You can pack it full of veggies (great for that half a butternut squash left in the fridge, or a half packet of green beans that got forgotten) and it’s really low fat. If you’ve got leftover chicken or beef in the fridge, you can add that in too. Do what I do and make a great big vat of the stuff and store it in the fridge so it’s easy to grab and stops that lunchtime dithering thing that can see you reaching for a lump of cheese and a box of crackers (or is that just me?). And remember, lentils are your friend.

Why lentils?

Lentils are, and I don’t use this word lightly, a real superfood. They’re full of fibre and loads of other fab stuff like iron and B vitamins and are great for providing that protein kick you need at lunchtime to see you through the day. They also have the advantage of being a great thickener, so if you’re trying to eat healthily they’re an excellent addition to soups and stews. They absorb flavours really well and have a mild, almost nutty taste themselves.

Get colourful

A good rule of thumb when making soup is to make sure you have lots of different colours going in there. Different coloured veg generally provide different vitamins and minerals, so bung in some carrots or butternut squash, then choose something green (freeze a bag of spinach so you can grab a handful) and maybe, say, a red onion too. Here’s a quick recipe, but once you get the hang of it, you’ll be making a different variety every time and you’ll never get bored.

Vary your seasoning

Think past salt and pepper. Sweeter vegetables like parsnips and carrots go really well with a bit of earthy spice… tomatoes go well with chilli… have an experiment.

Lentil and vegetable soup

There are no hard and fast rules here.. add what you like and leave out what you don’t.

1 tablespoon rapeseed oil

1 onion, peeled and chopped

Variety of veg, peeled and chopped (three or four double handfuls should do it). I used:

3 large carrots

1 large parsnip

1/2 butternut squash

1/2 bag watercress and rocket salad

Thick slice of savoy cabbage, chopped

2 litres chicken stock (or veg stock - cube is fine)

About 150 – 200g red lentils

So heat up the oil in a very large saucepan. Add in the onion and fry until translucent. If you’re adding spice, add it now - stir it around with the onions and oil until you can really smell it (I know that sounds weird, but it works). Now, add in all your prepared veg, then pour over the stock. Add in the lentils (use less if you prefer your soup thinner). Simmer for about 20 minutes or until tender, then blitz with a stick blender.

My first snapshot of the year: a KS Goddess Therapy facial with Katie Hill.

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So my lovely friend, Jane (of Diary of a Desperate Exmoor Woman fame) has written a gazillion books (check out her page on Amazon for the full list) all about stuff like detoxing, Ayurveda, energy and loads of alternative therapies, amongst other things. She’s been helping me sort my head out recently, getting me in the right mindset to start the year fit and healthy (or at least working towards it). If you get a chance (and don’t already) do read her blog. She recently lost four stone and is wonderfully inspiring.

Reading through some of her old blog posts, I was particularly taken with her writing on alternative therapies. This also coincided with an email dropping into my inbox about Katie Hill, a local face and body therapist who has recently developed her own range of therapies, KS Goddess Therapy.

On a whim, I made an appointment .I know, right? Carpe diem and all that (seizing the fish)…

The first thing I noticed is that Katie looks AMAZING. She is sprightly, fresh faced and glowing. I couldn’t quite believe it when she told me she has three children under seven. Imagine! I’d be lying on the sofa with a big bottle of gin if that was me. Instead of drinking gin, Katie has been busy with her new range of facials and body treatments, and recently won BABTAC’s Beauty Therapist of the Year award.

As I made myself comfortable on the therapy bed, surrounded by deliciously scented candles and cocooned in pre-warmed blankets, Katie told me a little more about the facial I was about to experience. The facials include, and I quote, ‘deep cleansing, professional grade exfoliation, deep tissue massage to promote cellular repair and to firm muscle tone with essentail oils, hydration, and much more’. The ‘much more’ includes the use of ‘Goddess Cards’, crystals and Reiki, something I’m not at all familiar with, but with Jane’s words echoing in my head, I laid back and relaxed.

What can I say? The whole experience was amazing. Katie obviously has magic fingers and chose the products (a combination of Dermalogica and Ila Spa) to best suit my skin (normal to oily, apparently - bit of a shocker when I’ve been buying dry skin products for years). The whole experience is definitely enhanced by the beautiful scents of the lotions and potions, and the massage is to die for - especially the amazing neck and shoulder massage which left me so relaxed I actually nodded off in the car outside TK Maxx later when I was actually meant to be shopping).

At one stage a crystal was placed on my heart chakra (I’m not altogether au fait with chakras so I won’t give you a bumbling explanation), and also on my forehead. The feeling was pleasant and calming (even if you don’t believe in such things, I guarantee you’ll float out of the spa on cloud nine).

Katie explained that the reiki elements of the treatment are felt differently by different people. To me, it felt like that wonderful otherworldly feeling you get when someone plays with your hair (if you like that sort of thing) but other people feel heat, or just a general sense of wellbeing. I certainly felt that.

My skin, I have to report, is still soft and glowing, and I’ll be back for another treatment next month.

So that’s my first new experience of the year, then. My first snapshot, locked away for future enjoyment. I’m loving 2012 so far.

The KS Goddess Therapy facials and body treatments officially launch in the spring, but for January and February, as Katie perfects the treatments, they’re £25.00 - an utter bargain and highly recommended. Contact Katie at Totality Day Spa in Tring, Herts.

 

 

In which English Towers becomes a gin-free zone

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So after all my moany, whiny protestations, English Dad actually DID buy me underwear for Christmas (sorry, lonnnnjjjjherrrieeee, you have to say it right). It was very pretty, not too thongy, and actually really nice.

I tried it on.

In front of him.

There was some levering. Actually, there was quite a lot of levering. And a bit of sweating. And a bit of unsightly overspill. Quite a lot, if I’m honest.

Me: ‘Oh’.

Hubby: ‘They don’t fit? *panicked expression*, but they’re a size 12! You’re a size 12! You’ve always been a size 12!’

Me: ‘They don’t. I am. I have.’

Me: ‘Shit’.

And lo, the dawning was slow and painful.

I’ve got a bit porky.

It’s not my fault. I like a gin, admittedly. A gin or three. And fizz! Who doesn’t, right? And a restaurant. Oh I love a restaurant. And I like a cake. And a pie. Oh and those crispy covered peanut things. And a Topic. And I’m an advocate of any problem being solved with a big stew and lots of mashed potato…

Okay so wait. It IS my fault.

And so I decided, rather than take the rather lush underwear back, I would embark on a small period of healthy eating and gin avoidance thus rendering me back in a size 12 and able to wear my new pants.

Easy, right?

Well, no. But I thought I’d help out by publishing a few healthy recipes over the next few days to start us off in the right direction. Then we can get back on the gin and forget this ever happened.