Motorways, Xbox magnificence and bird murder

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It’s been a funny old Christmas. We thought it would never get started as due to awful weather conditions both here and in the UK, English Dad looked as though he’d never get over here to celebrate Christmas with us. Endless delays and cancellations saw him backwards and forwards to the airport, before finally he got re-booked on a flight due to come in on Christmas Eve Eve evening (if you get my drift). We were also hampered by frozen pipes. Still, the teenagers embraced the ‘not having to wash’ lifestyle and I performed weird spit-washes in two inches of kettle water.

The snow was really coming down, but I roped the Death Wish Child into coming with me and we set off a little gingerly for Dublin Airport. The highlight of the trip occurred just as we were getting off the motorway at the airport turnoff. There was about a foot of fresh snow and we exited onto the sliproad sideways. While I screamed, clutching the steering wheel for dear life (hysteria is my middle name), the DWC squealed with delight: ‘Awesome Mum! You’re drifting! It’s like Gran Turismo!’

Arriving traumatised at the airport, I persuaded my passengers that there was no way I wanted a repeat of GT5 and would be returning to Cavan via the M50 and then via the M3. BIG mistake. Big, huge mistake. We sat, as more snow fluttered down, in solid traffic.

In total, our trip took us over five hours. In the meantime, my lovingly prepared ham in coca cola had boiled dry, but in a spectacular culinary rescue mission, the Mad Professor had smelt the smoke and topped up the liquid. Impressive.

Christmas morning, we were greeted by a hungry pheasant hoovering up the food we’d left out for the birds. It was somewhat tainted by the fact that the Ninja Cat of Death murdered one of the little Wagtails that had come along for a snack. The poor little thing’s body laid frozen and bloody as all the other birds continued to stuff their faces, leading English Dad to ponder that it must be the equivalent of eating in The Ivy with a large cadaver draped across the table.

Continuing on the theme of bird murder, our turkey turned out really well:

I got some fab pressies: lots of smellies, some gorgeous Gucci perfume, Nigella Kitchen and an awesome Dualit hand blender. De brevren were lucky enough to have been sent an Xbox Kinect and some games and I discovered (to my children’s disgust) that I’m REALLY good at ‘QB in motion’ - a kind of American football game on Kinect Game Party in Motion. The Xbox Harry Potter Deathly Hallows game is awesome as well (it’s got bits you can play with the Kinect). We spent the afternoon playing Xbox International Cricket and creating our teams entirely with names starting with Fat. Childish, yes, but very funny. Fatkinson scored a century, if you’re interested.

How about you, then? Good Christmas?

How do I cook the turkey? English Mum’s easy peasy guide to Christmas dinner

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Soooo here comes the big day! There’s just the four of us this year, but whether you’re catering for 15 or it’s just you and your other half, the golden rule is the same as ever: Christmas day is a happy, family day. Please don’t get stressed and fall apart. Just think of it as a big roast dinner - a turkey is very forgiving and will happily rest for a good hour (and probably more), covered in foil and a tea towel or two, so there’s no need to rush anything. My one recommendation is to take ten minutes to write a rough timetable somewhere, so that when you’re a bit sozzled, you can easily work out your timings. Remember if you’re steaming a Christmas pudding as well you’ll need to time that.

And look, I love Nigella, but will I be brining my turkey in about fifteen quid’s worth of citrus fruits, various herbs, spices and maple syrupy water? Nope. It’s waaaay too much effort, and cost. I’ll be preparing as much as I can in advance so that I can have a couple of glasses of champers and enjoy a gentle potter in the kitchen on the big day.

As for prep, here’s my top tips:

Prepare in advance

Get as much as possible done 1 or 2 days in advance. Peel the potatoes, cut them into even sizes and boil for as long as you dare (the softer they are the fluffier the centre will be when you roast them). Then just drain, leave to sit until cool and then open freeze on a tray before popping in a sealable freezer bag and freezing (if you freeze them straight into the bag they all fuse together in one big lump). On the day they can go straight into the hot oil/goose fat from frozen.

With the veg, just peel and prepare all your carrots/sprouts/whatever and bung them in plastic bags. Don’t freeze them as this will make them a bit soggy, but store them sealed in the fridge until you’re ready, then just pop straight into the boiling water (or steam) on the day.

For the turkey

Again, do this the day before. Don’t wally about washing the bloody thing in the sink - the hot oven will kill any germs and you’ll just succeed in covering yourself and your sink in all manner of bacteria. Just unwrap it, take the giblets out (use to make stock), pluck out any stray feathers and get on with it.

I use one of those massive disposable foil turkey tray things - I know it’s not the most environmentally friendly choice but hey, it’s Christmas.

Add a few extras:

It’s nice to use a few flavours to enhance the turkey so cut up a couple of lemons or oranges, squeeze them over the bird and then stick them into the body cavity along with a halved onion and a nice bunch of bay, thyme or rosemary or whatever you have and some salt and pepper, then tie the legs together.

For extra moistness and flavour, you can take about half a pack of butter, and mush it up with some of the stuff you’ve used in the cavity - maybe some lemon zest, pepper and a little chopped rosemary or parsley? Then separate the skin from the breast with your fingertips (you don’t have to be too careful, turkey skin is like leather), then squish the butter all over the breast under the skin. Now smooth the skin back down, drizzle with a little oil and some salt and pepper.

To stuff or not to stuff?:

I don’t stuff the turkey, partly because eating something out of a turkey’s innards puts me off a bit and partly because I think it’s better for the hot air to circulate inside it. I make the stuffing separately and cook it in a terrine in the oven once the turkey’s resting. If you want to, though, by all means stuff the neck end just before cooking.

Weighing and preparing:

Weigh your turkey and work out the cooking time. Write it on your timetable then just cover with foil (don’t bother buying that ridiculously expensive turkey foil - just overlap the normal stuff), then leave it somewhere cool until you need it. Mine’s going in a plastic box in the garage as it’s nice and cold in there, but if we have a sudden warm snap (heh, yeah right), I’ll pack some ice round it (it needs to be less than 4 degrees).

On the day:

I take my turkey out and let it come to room temp on Christmas morning. No point in putting a very cold turkey into a hot oven - it’ll take ten minutes to even start cooking. Just slosh a bit of water in the bottom of the roasting pan, then stick the turkey on at 190/gas 5 (180 for fan ovens), set your timer and go and have a glass of champers. If you want to, you can baste it every so often, but if you forget, don’t worry at all.

Turkey under 4kg: 20 minutes per kilo, plus a further 70 minutes

Turkey over 4kg: 20 minutes per kilo, plus a further 90 minutes

Remove the foil for the last 40 or so minutes to brown the top

Once your turkey is done (you can wobble a leg easily, and a quick stab with a knife into the thickest part will allow you to collect nice clear juices on a spoon), drain the juices into a pan for the gravy, then cover with foil and forget it while you cook everything else.

And because I ordered a turkey crown from James Whelan Butchers, I asked Pat Whelan to tell us how he cooks his gorgeous free-range turkey crowns:

Cream some butter in a bowl until very soft, then add the crushed garlic, orange rind, parsley and thyme. Beat well, until thoroughly blended. Gently loosen the neck flap away from the breast and pack the flavoured butter right under the skin — this is best done wearing disposable gloves. Rub well into the flesh of the turkey, then re-cover the skin and secure with a small skewer or sew with fine twine. Finally, cover the top of the crown with the rashers.

Place the turkey crown in the oven and calculate your time — 20 minutes per 450g (1lb) plus 20 minutes, so a joint this size should take three hours and 40 minutes. Cover loosely with foil, which should be removed about 40 minutes before the end of the cooking time. The turkey crown will cook much more quickly than a whole turkey, so make sure to keep basting.

To check if the turkey is cooked, pierce a fine skewer into the chest part of the crown, the juice should run clear. When cooked, cover with foil to rest and keep warm.

For great roasties

You really don’t need a lake of fat to make them lovely and crispy. Just cover the bottom of the roasting tin completely and make sure the fat is very hot before you add your frozen potatoes. Spoon the fat over all the potatoes then whack in a nice hot oven. The turkey will wait until your potatoes are golden and crispy (40 mins to an hour).

Easy apple and red onion stuffing

(serves 4-6, double up as necessary):

1 tbsp butter

1 red onion, finely chopped

1 dessert apple, grated (don’t bother to peel)

225g pork sausage meat

100g fresh white breadcrumbs

1 tbsp fresh parsley, chopped

1 tbsp fresh sage, chopped

Squeeze of lemon juice

Heat the butter in a frying pan, add the onion and fry gently until soft. Add the apple and cook until softened. Remove from the heat, transfer to a bowl and allow to cool.

Stir the sausage meat and breadcrumbs into the onion mixture along with the herbs and lemon juice. Once well combined, squish it into a buttered oven-proof dish, cool and bung in the fridge. On the day, it’ll take about 25 minutes (obviously more if you double up).

Bringing it all together:

And that’s it. You’ve got the last half hour to fiddle with all your little extras. Add a tablespoon or two (depending on the amount) of plain flour to the pan juices in a saucepan and cook out before adding plenty of stock (you can never have enough gravy). For sprouts, I just blanch them for a few minutes while I’m frying some streaky bacon in a couple of tablespoons of oil, then toss them in with the bacon before serving. I also serve roast parsnips with honey and a ton of cranberry sauce, oh and peas for the fussy bugger who only likes peas *sigh*.

If it goes a bit wrong and something gets burned or forgotten, it’s not the end of the world. Enjoy the day, pour yourself a drink and remember it’s just dinner.

Slainte! xx

Ankle deep in diamonds

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So like most of you, we’ve been covered by a liberal blanket of snow. Unusually, Dublin was hit pretty hard too, which meant that even if we could slither down to the bus stop in the -8 mornings, a lot of the time the buses weren’t even coming up from Dublin. This resulted in over a week off and some high jinks in the snow (this was before DWC’s hospital stay, obviously) when de brevren finally got to wear their skiing gear (purchased hopefully in the TK Maxx sale last year and as yet unused):

The camo snow-ninjas created an anatomically correct snowman as well:

But the best and most beautiful moments have been in the evening, when the moon has shone so brightly that I’ve had to check twice that the outside lights aren’t already on, and taking the dog out in the evening has been like walking ankle deep in diamonds, every step sending a sparkling spray in front of me. The sky here is really clear and it’s gorgeous standing outside in the glowy silence looking up and watching the odd shooting star streak across the sky.

Absolutely magical.

The Party Times’ Ten Tips for a Perfect Family Christmas

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My lovely friend Lorraine runs the incredible website The Party Times. Here are her ten tips for a perfect family Christmas:

Christmas is a time when tiny lights shimmer in shop windows, gifts twinkle beneath the tree and the smell of decadent festive treats wafts from every home. Share the spirit of Christmas with family, friends or neighbours and enjoy a fun, festive and completely stress-free December with our top 10 Christmas tips

1. First impressions …

Welcome family and neighbours by lighting pathways with garden paper lanterns, LED light sticks and fairy lights wrapped round tree trunks or branches. Have guests met by a beautiful red berry wreath and windows decorated with ‘Ho ho ho’ stencils or stencils of snowmen, reindeers and Christmas trees using snow spray.

2. Sprucing up the tree …

A tree full of glistening lights and an array of colouful decorations heightens wonder and expectation around Christmas. Colourful fabric decorations and other beautiful pieces will stand out against dark green trees. Pick out timeless and unusual decorations with a nostalgic touch such as charming wooden decorations or for something unique, silver and red personalized baubles. Add a few edible chocolate treats and candy cane sticks; something the younger members of the family will love. Save any spare fir branches from the tree for napkin decorations or to add above the fireplace for a touch of nature. Look out for make your own angel kits or fabric heart decorations, a fun weekend activity to do with your children and a perfect creative accessory for the top of the tree.

3. ‘Tis the season to be baking …

Cookies and biscuits are great additions to a family Christmas and children will love helping you make them. Look out for christmas cookie cutter sets that come in a variety of shapes such as star, reindeer, snowflake or Christmas tree designs. Store your baked treats in tins and hand them out to friends who drop by, served with a steaming mug of hot chocolate. Hang biscuits on the tree by piercing a hole and threading pretty ribbons through them or wrap them in cellophane, tie with curling ribbon and hand them out as end of term gifts.

Other wonderful festive treats include Christmas popcorn (caramelized and dusted with cinnamon) chocolate snowball truffles (coated in desiccated coconut) or chunks of gooey marshmallow-filled rocky road. Hand these out as end of term gifts or to family members, sealed in festive christmas party boxes.

4. A gingerbread house …

Create a Scandinavian fairytale gingerbread house, good enough to eat. Not only will it look and smell appealing, it will bring out the child inside of everyone. Get your children to help build and decorate it with you and you can put it in a windowsill lit up or use it as a table centerpiece, adorned with hundreds of sweets!

5. All dressed up …

Christmas themed tablecloths do all the ‘dressing’ aspect for you, there’s so much colour in the print you just need to add a centerpiece to give it some dimension such as vintage santa themed tableware. But if you’re opting for a more traditional table setting with plain red partyware, greens and whites then choose decorative cotten napkins, fun placemats and novelty place card holders. Fill bowls with colourful treats such as candy cane, peppermints and other shiny wrapped treats (Roses or Quality Streets).

Alternatively festive baubles in vases or cardboard cut-out reindeer centrepieces or sleigh and reindeers or Christmas trees. You can then arrange candles and nightlights at differing heights to create a dramatic and cosy atmosphere. Red crystal gemsand festive confetti scattered in blank spaces on the table will glisten and catch the light, evoking a sense of enchantment. And don’t forget party poppers, chocolates and make-your-own party crackers – a few essentials that make a big difference.

6. Winter brews …

Hot chocolate ganache sticks stirred into mugs of warm milk are wonderful seasonal treats for the family. Then top your steamy brews with frothy cream or mini marshmallows – heaven on a cold wintry night. Yet nothing fills a house with festive aroma faster than mulled apple simmering on top of the stove. Children will love drinking this too (without the alcohol) and can help prepare the apples, studding them with cloves.

7. A flicker of an idea …

At this time of year everything seems to gleam so fill your house with lots of tiny lights such as green christmas fairy lights. Fairy lights play an essential part and can be draped from beams, twisted round staircases and hung around door frames for a winter sparkle. Rustic rattan reindeers nestled in a corner and wrapped with fairy lights look stunning and magical.Light your Yule log or homemade cupcakes with angel flames - candles with a party piece of their own! When lit their flames burn red, blue and green creating a magical effect that children will go crazy about!

Tie white LED illoom balloons (filled with helium) onto the backs of chairs using curling ribbon or tie them in clusters around the room.

8. Shop online …

Make life easy and buy your children’s Christmas present online which will eliminate aimless shopping trips and mean you won’t have troubles trying to hide their gifts whilst you’re out shopping with them. Write a gift list and a budget before you shop online, otherwise you can get carried away.

9. Wrap, tie & tag …

Try to wrap all your gifts as far in advance as possible, this will make you feel more organized. Look out for Christmas tissue paper, perfect for wrapping stocking-fillers and use some red curling ribbon for a special touch. You can add ribbons, tags and bows later on, but label with sticky notes so you don’t forget what’s what. Chic satin ribbon can add colour to the simplest wrapping paper and can be used to tie around napkins or to hang decorations. Run out of gift tags? Cut up old Christmas cards into gift-size tags and use them instead.

10. Don’t leave it to the last minute …

Brainstorm all the jobs you need to do in preparation for Christmas and put it up on your pinboard at home. Mark off the jobs as you do them and give yourself an extra day to get everything done. Think what food you can prepare in advance, (things like sauces, brandy butter etc), what you can freeze and try to avoid the supermarkets during the weekday evening rush and at weekends. It’s always useful to update your address book, in preparation for sending out Christmas cards. You could always get your computer-savvy child to help you type out all the addresses to avoid having to use your scribbled out address book.

A few special touches …

Buy a few small things that will make your Christmas celebrations extra special. Things like edible green glitter trees will add sparkle and shimmer to cupcakes, biscuits and festive popcorn and children will love the magical element it brings. A pack of sky lanterns and a giant Christmas musical cracker game or snowball splatter game hidden away and brought out on Christmas day will add a special touch and if you don’t use them they’ll be perfect for New Year parties too. Shaped sugar lumps in fun festive shapes such as mistletoe, fir branch and pinecone are thoughtful additions for after-dinner coffee and guests will love them (visit Cox & Cox).

Last but not least …

Fill gorgeous mini fabric party cones with little surprises as going home gifts (they work well as a room decoration too) and can be kept to keep little gifts such as jewellery and toys inside. Hang the party cones between two fixtures or above the fireplace. Can also be saved and used year after year.

Gifts for magnificent mums and delectable dads. The Christmas Countdown Gift Guide

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FOR THE MUMS

All mothers love to receive flowers from their children. Surprise yours with one of many arrangements of vibrant and beautiful flowers delivered right to her door. Choose flowers for any occasion, or just to let her know that you love her. Check out www.serenataflowers.com or if your mum has a sweet tooth, maybe www.serenatachocolates.com.

Red Magazine is my favouritest magazine ever. The best food, the best fashion and the nicest editor (follow her on Twitter at @SamatRedMag). If you subscribe now, you can get 6 issues for just £9.99 plus a really nice Elemis freebie. Grab it for yourself AND buy your Mum a subscription!

Red has a fabulous new website too! Check it out at redonline.co.uk - there’s beauty, recipes, fashion, news and tons more - it’s like a whole other magazine on the web:

All for Eve is a great beauty brand where 100% of net profits are donated to the Eve Appeal that funds research into gynaecological cancers. There is currently a capsule collection of 8 fantastic products (the awesome red lipstick was created by make up artist Daniel Sandler). Great quality, and what a fab cause too. Available in loads of stores (including Harrods dahling). Check online for stockists.

Carol Savage, the Dragon’s Den ‘alumnus” and founder of recipe website MyDish.co.uk has launched lovely personalised recipe calendars for Christmas this year. You can either source and upload a favourite recipe or alternatively add your own recipes and photos:

The calendar costs £15.00 and £5.00 from every calendar donated to Great Ormond Street Hospital.

Brown and Harris have some beautiful and very on-trend old-fashioned English toiletries which would make lovely gifts. They have some gorgeous gift-sets as well as individual products - I keep an enormous tube of the lavender conditioning hand and nail cream on my desk which smells absolutely delicious (lavender’s not just for grannies you know!). The perfumed wardrobe and drawer sachets are gorgeously vintage and make really sweet stocking fillers too. Available online from their website, and from Amazon, plus other stockists.

Talking of smellies, if your mum is a lover of scented candles (aren’t we all?) look no further than the gorgeously scented Spa Paradisa candles. The packaging is wonderfully retro and I thought the scents were utterly delicious. Available at next.co.uk and Debenhams too.

And let’s not forget mums to be in our little line up. I can heartily recommend the delightfully girly Mum to Be Pamper Me gift set, which includes bath soak, tummy cream and a vanilla scented candle:

They also do a really lovely Little Me Organics lavender-scented gift set for mum and baby. Lovely new mum Denise Van Outen is a big fan of the range.

Last but not least, if you can count booze as stocking fillers, I’d heartily recommend Martini’s range of festive fizz:

MARTINI Asti DOCG (7.5% ABV, £6.28 at Tesco). This is the original Asti taste that I remember from many Christmases past, and although a tad sweet for some palates, it makes for a lovely cocktail when mixed with plenty of fresh lime (a tip I learned from the lovely Nigella).

MARTINI Prosecco DOC (11.5% ABV). Prosecco is well trendy this Christmas and this one, with hints of apple and peach, is gorgeous.

MARTINI Cuvée Speciale Rosé (8% ABV). I love rosé - not only because of the colour! This is the perfect party wine - and has only 75 kcal for a 125ml serving!

The Prosecco and Rose is £6.00 in Asda on spesh at the moment.

Chin chin!

FOR THE DADS

First of all, I must recommend 1001 Beers You Must Try Before You Die by the fabulous Adrian Tierney-Jones, hubby of my lovely friend Exmoor Jane. Available from Amazon priced £10.92, it’s a must-purchase for every beer-loving dad.

Still on the subject of beer, here are two fine beers born out of a collaboration between Rick Stein and Sharp’s Brewery. Chalky’s Bark has subtle hints of ginger, a perfect match for spicy food, whilst Chalky’s Bite has notes of fennel which goes great with any seafood. If your dad’s a real foodie, you’ll seriously be in his good books. Chalky’s Bark & Chalky’s Bite are both available in cases of 12 bottles at £24, from Majestic stores or www.sharpsbrewery.co.uk

No Dad’s stocking should be complete without this fabulous tin of yummy Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls mint balls. The newly designed tin costs just £3.27 and with 100% natural ingredients, these famous mint balls are suitable for vegetarians, vegans and are gluten-free too. http://www.uncle-joes.com

The brand new Black and Decker 14.4v Autoselect® Lithium Ion Hammer Drill is out now(oh come on, you know every Dad secretly wants a drill even if they don’t ever use one).

Radox have got some fabulous gift sets out at the moment. Available nationwide from Boots and all good chemists - one of these sets would make a great stocking stuffer for any dad.

If you’re going to go the trad route and give socks (the hubby insists on it every year), Jeep have got some really trendy ones. We (well, not me) tried out the Luxury Terrain ones, and they’re a cut above your normal stocking filler. Available at the usual outlets priced £7.99.

This gorgeous Mont Blanc Special Edition John Lennon pen is a snip at £585.00 (ahaha), but there are pens for every budget that would make a great pressie for any office-bound brother or crossword-loving dad. Check out thepenshop.co.uk for loads of choice. There are tons of Filofaxes in every colour too.

The Powermat is an awesome pressie if your man has an iPhone 3 or 4. We tried it out and it’s really good. Once fitted with the special case, you can just pop the phone straight onto the mat and it charges it straight away. It works for Blackberries/DSi/PSPs and loads more as well. A word of warning though, if you’ve got a ‘normal’ phone (I’ve got a Nokia 5800), you can’t use it. There are some extra attachments, but they’re mostly USB based.

The Friday photo: spot the Ninja

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The Ninja Cat of Death, when not entertaining herself by ‘poofing’ into a large and slightly spiky cloud shape to terrify the dog, or eating the dog’s dinner while poor Millie sits, quietly gibbering in terror, nearby, really likes the snow.

I think it appeals to her inner ninjaness to be able to step out into the garden and then disappear. But then she totally ruins it be leaping about like an idiot for ten minutes, getting cold, and appearing at the window making silent ‘MAOW!’ noises (roughly translated: ‘let me in, you gits’) while we sit, all warm and comfy, and laugh at her.

Well, the dog’s got to get her own back sometime, right?

Terrific gifts for teenagers. The Christmas Countdown Gift Guide

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FOR THE BOYS

Spy Games, Europe’s leading espionage themed events company, has this AMAZING Spy Academy Gift Experience which is perfect for anyone who has ever dreamed of becoming the next James Bond (and let’s face it - who hasn’t?). This press release got de brevren hanging over my shoulder checking out the pics. Not only do you get to be trained to become an agent and perform a 3 hour spy operation, but you also get to receive training in essential spy equipment, like bugs and hidden cameras, and *cue the sound of teenagers fainting* you receive training on how to use a pistol and get to fire machine guns!! More info from: www.spy-games.com. Tel: +44 (0)845 1303 007

Gadget Glamour have got a great range of iPad and iPhone skins. They look amazing and make great stocking fillers. The skins cost from £10.00. Check out www.gadgetglamour.co.uk for more info.

Roadkill Toys are an absolutely awesome teenage twist on the soft toy and will certainly be taking pride of place in stockings at English Towers this year (shhh don’t tell). There are three toys; Twitch the Racoon, Grind the Rabbit and Splodge the Hedgehog, which literally look like they’ve been squished - plush guts and all! Each comes in its very own body bag and with an identity tag. £25.00. Check out www.roadkilltoys.com

Nike’s new CR Mercurial Vapor SuperFly II boot has been launched just in time for Christmas. Looking spectacular in a wrap-around updated version of the Nike Safari print first introduced on the Air Safari running shoe in 1987, and bearing the signature of none other than Christiano Ronaldo, each pair also comes with a special code to unlock training tips on the website. Stocked exclusively in Ireland at Lifestyle Sports. Wowzers.

My teens are (secretly) obsessed with grooming products and this Bulldog EcoSystem Moisturiser not only looks funky, but is fair trade too. To buy this and loads more fabulous eco/organic/natural/fairtrade type skin and hair care products, visit biggreensmile.com. It smells fabulous (and suitably manly) too.

Don’t forget that the amazing X Box Kinect is now out. Earlier this year we travelled to Gamescom 2010 in Cologne to try out the system and some of the games. Our favourites? Kinectimals (for the cute animals - and yes, even my boys liked it!), Kinect Sports and the fabulous Dance Central.

Check out MoreTvicar for amazing retro T shirts (oh and if you’ve got teeny tinies, check out the ‘love’ and ‘hate’ baby mittens as well. Beyond cute!

If, like me, you often have ‘extras’ staying overnight, often at short notice, this is a godsend. The Aerobed Active fully inflates in less than 60 seconds (it’s got a detachable pump that can also be used cordless or from a vehicle), can be used outside and is tested to 295kg which should withstand even the most ridiculous teenage wrestling shenanigans. Sadly the one we tried had an European two-pin plug on so we had to bring the car up to the house and inflate it via the cigarette lighter while several teenage boys held it up to the window (the bed, not the car). But hey, it worked.

Priced from £59.99 for a single. For more info and stockists see: aerobed.co.uk Ooh, and don’t forget the lovely John Lewis for all your stocking fillers too. Our favourites were the yoyos, slinkies and the good old potato gun.

FOR THE GIRLIES

Gorgeous undies and cute tops at mili b - this lovely website is run by a friend of my lubly mate Jane. Highly recommended (they do stuff for adults and kids too):

Fearne and Holly -The Best Friends’ Guide to Life is just such a lovely book and would make a great gift for any girly. BFFs in real life, they chat about love, friendship and fashion, and there are some fabulous photos too.

Green People have some fabulous gift boxes on their website, greenpeople.co.uk including this cute ‘Teen Angel‘ one (£22.99) containing a really nice quality Cleanse and Moisturise (50ml) with willow bark, green tea & mandarin, plus a volumising mascara. All the ingredients are organic, 100% vegetarian and 100% cruelty free and 10% of their net profit is donated to organic and environmental charities. What’s not to love? Celebrity Stylist Phil Smith’s gorgeous gift sets, available in Brunette and Blonde - just £5.00 each exclusively at Sainsbury’s make lovely little gifts:

If you’re being nagged about a puppy and it’s just not the right time, maybe you could adopt one instead? Purina PetCare is supporting Canine Partners - a charity which specially trains dogs to assist people with disabilities. This is the gorgeous Ruben, who is already in training:

Adopt a dog for as little as £1.00 a week and you could make a fabulous difference to someone’s life too.

Tweezers with Attitude are cute little cartoon tweezers which make great stocking fillers - surprisingly good quality, my fave is the ‘Carrie’, but there’s lots to choose from - even a ‘Posh’ if you’re that way inclined! They’re available from Victoria Health and loads of good pharmacies and gift shops priced just £2.99

FrontCover cosmetics make some really gorgeous gift sets. Their ‘FrontCover To Go’ kit, which contains 20 removeable eyeshadows, a limited edition compact so you can take four of the shades with you, plus shadowline (which cleverly turns shadow into eyeliner), applicators and expert instructions is absolutely great quality. Check out www.frontcovercosmetics.com - Frontcover is on sale at selected Boots stores and on Boots.com.

The Homemade Company have gorgeous sets. Check out the lovely ‘make your own lip balm’ kits which make lovely presents.

Previously Virgin VIE, VIE at Home still offers lovely high quality toiletries and cosmetics. Tthe Moisturising Body Butter Duo (£15.00), is beautifully packaged and would make a lovely gift. The Honey and Almond Body Butter is lovely and light and smells utterly delicious. Available online from www.vieathome.com

Friends of my buddy Kerry, the lovely Jo and Al make fantastic upcycled jewellery. Their Scrabble pendant line is made from actual board game pieces and this week they launched their limited edition range of amazing gold plated Scrabble pendants. These extra special Scrabble tiles are part of a super bling version of the ordinary Scrabble game. Each gold plated tile pendant comes with a gold plated chain and is priced at £45. The traditional Scrabble tile version with silver plated chains are still available at £8 and make perfect stocking fillers. You can find more information here: http://scrabblependants.blogspot.com/

And especially for you they’ve got one of the original Scrabble pendants to give away. Just email me via the contact form at the top of the page with SCRABBLE in the title and tell me the letter you would like, along with your name and address. UK only entries please. Competition closes one week today!

Hospitals, family jewels, yoga mats and exit holes

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So it’s been a funny old week. Scrap that, it’s been an exhausting, terrifying week.

Tuesday morning, with school cancelled and the snow still deep outside, we were just pottering about. All of a sudden there was the most awful, blood-curdling yell. I rushed to the kitchen to find the Death Wish Child in agony, on all fours on the kitchen floor. He was clutching his groin (I’ve never said ‘testicles’ so many times in one week) and rolling around. My initial reaction, knowing de brevren, was a bout of some form of wrestling that had gone wrong, but when the Mad Professor ran in behind me, I realised this was far worse.

My heart in my mouth, I helped him to the car and we rushed to the doctor, who took one look and sent us straight up to the hospital. The trip up to Cavan is a good half hour drive, and with the snow still on the ground, it was a treacherous trip.

The hospital staff were absolutely brilliant - they got him straight in and he’d seen a surgeon within half an hour of arriving and was getting a scan within an hour. Ominously, they found a 1cm lump in the tube (tube? I don’t know the technical terms) leading to his right testicle. Shocked and panicking, I phoned his Dad, who arranged to fly back in to the country as the poor lad was admitted to a ward.

The first night was awful. DWC was in agony and I was given a ‘bed’ so I could sleep next to him. This ‘bed’ was some sort of yoga mat effort, but it seemed churlish to complain. We slept fitfully, me reaching up to hold his hand, while a teenage girl in the next bed moaned and groaned ALL night (‘God, it sounds like a porno’, he whispered to me at one stage.) I laughed, and then laid awake some more alternately worrying - my mind running away on terrible worst case scenarios - and trying to work out how my 12 year old knew what a porno sounded like. My Mum always says that everyone’s religious in a crisis, and I must admit to saying a few silent prayers.

The next day things were worse, and despite morphine, by the evening it was clear that things were going downhill. The surgeon came to see him and decided to operate. Straight away.

Midnight saw me walking beside his trolley down to the theatre. I was so proud of him, laughing and joking with the nurses despite being in pain.

The worst thing by far was watching him go under the anaesthetic - my youngest baby, floppy and unconscious. Awful.

And of course, with all this going on, the poor Mad Professor was at home on his own - looking after the dog (well sort of - ‘have you fed the dog?’, ‘yes, I gave her half my pizza’) and sleeping in an empty house for the first time in his life.

My friends, as always, were amazing. Lovely Erica even texting from her holiday in Lapland. D next door was fabulous - he drove up, bringing the Mad Professor to see his bro, sorted out a bag of clothes and stuff for us (we’d got to the hospital in the clothes we stood up in) and kept popping in to see if he was alright at home.

Back from the theatre, my poor little dude was in agony - I think this was the worst time, but with morphine he finally slept, and woke to find his very worried Dad (and the wonderful YTPR, Rev Craig), by his side. Amazingly, the news from the surgeon was good: the lump was just a cyst that had adhered to the tube and then twisted, causing the pain. With the cyst removed, there was nothing more to do than get better. What a relief.

And so now he’s home, directing the decoration of the Christmas tree from his throne of pillows on the sofa, and although sore, he’s recovering well. I know we’re incredibly lucky, and this is mainly thanks to a great doctor and fabulous hospital staff.

Funniest moments (you knew there’d be some):

  • The Mad Professor asking the Death Wish Child if he’d had to have any ‘surrogatives’ (he meant suppositories).
  • The DWC’s reply ‘nope, my exit hole will always stay exit-only’.
  • A sudden light moment during his agony when he yelled ‘OW, MY BOLLOCKS!’ (I didn’t tell him off, I was too busy laughing)

 

Gorgeous gadgets. The Christmas Countdown Gift Guide

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When we were first married, my new husband presented me with a breadmaker one Christmas morning. I was duly horrified with such a practical and unglamorous present. Needless to say, I’d blimmin’ love one now. I wonder what that says about me? Less glam? Or just far more sensible? Either way, I’ve got some fabulous gadgets to show you - every one of which I’d be happy for Santa to lever into my stocking…

The Kenwood Chef Titanium

I’ve been testing this baby and I have to say *gasp* that I loved it as much as I love my KitchenAid. Firstly, it looks utterly fabulous - it has a real ‘professional’ feel about it, and secondly the quality is just top notch. Every piece feels really chunky and solid and there are masses of optional attachments (juicer, ice cream maker, a fabulous stainless steel liquidiser, even a food processor attachment - brilliant if you’re short of space). I love the dual handles on the bowl and also the fact that when lifted, the beater moves far enough out of the bowl to allow you to scrape down the sides easily. The controls are better placed than the KitchenAid (I often flip the power switch instead of the release switch and spatter the kitchen with cake mix) and it will knead even the largest batch of dough without doing a little dance across the worktop. If my Mum’s Kenwood Chef is any yardstick, it will still be going strong 30 years from now too. Check out Kenwoodworld.com for more details and stockists.

Villaware

The entire Villaware range are like works of art, but if you’re going to choose one really good quality item for your kitchen (or for your loved one on Christmas day), choose their blender. Not only is it amazingly strong (we use it for crushing ice for cocktails), it also makes breadcrumbs without getting clogged and will whizz small amounts of garlic butter or pesto, thanks to its double blade. It comes apart easily for cleaning too. Check out villaware.co.uk (ooh and if you buy any Villaware product between now and 31st December you’ll get 20% cashback!).

Jamie Oliver’s Kitchen Kit

Not one gadget, but loads of different ones. I couldn’t do a gadget post without mentioning all the loveliness that is the Jamie Oliver range. Special mention has to go to those knives (it’s okay, I have a few fingers left), which would make a fabulous present for a keen cook (as long as they don’t mind the inevitable flesh wounds).

Tefal’s new limited edition black Actifry

I’ve talked about this little beauty before, I know, but this clever little gadget has now been reborn in a slinky black design making it even nicer to have gracing your worktop. This perfect pressie can fry a ton of chips (well, a kilo) with just one tablespoon of olive oil, and I can vouch for the perfect crispy chips that it makes (and they’re only 3% fat). For more information and stockists visit www.tefal.co.uk)

Gaggia Brera Coffee Machine

Okay okay, so it’s £585, but this baby does the lot, from bean to cup - grinding, brewing to your personal preference - hell, it even filters the water! If your budget is slightly lower, check out Le Cafe Shop’s coffee machine section - there are loads of coffee machines for every wallet (I love the fabulous Presso espresso maker - a more comfortable £74.90, including free coffee).

Panasonic SD 257

Lastly, then, if he really does want to buy me a breadmaker (I won’t complain now), he could buy me this little beauty. The Panasonic SD 257 has a brioche mode and a rye bread option and can whip up fresh bread in under two hours - or you can set it to waft the magical smell of freshly baked bread as you get up in the morning. Yum. Click here for more info.

PS: Thanks for all your good wishes. Number two son is out of hospital this morning and we’re hoping for a speedy recovery xxx

The Knackered Mother’s Christmas Wine Survival Guide

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It just so happens that I have an amazing friend, Hels, who is also a wine expert. She used to be a buyer for a big supermarket and now works for a fabulous wine company. I know - how lucky am I? She’s very busy doing international winey things and judging at wine exhibitions, but I managed to nab her to give us the low down on Christmas booze.

The culinary countdown to Christmas has begun and decisions need to be made. What size turkey? Make or buy the Christmas cake? How many things I can really put on my Christmas list without looking greedy? All that can wait. For me, the fun part is choosing what wines to get in. With all the thought, love and care that we put into food for the Big Day, this is no time to leave wine to the last minute resulting in a dash to the corner shop for an extra few bottles of Blossom Hill. Of course, there are timeless Christmas Classics – Champagne, Chablis, Claret and Port – but the explosion in wine choice from around the world gives us endless possible glorious combinations. Here are a few recommendations, both classic and not-so-classic, to try:

Christmas Morning – a good Prosecco

I like to think of this as Mother’s Little Helper: a small glass of Prosecco in the kitchen whilst getting things ready, quite possibly in my dressing gown. Others can help themselves too, they usually do. It has a gentle fizz, a touch of sweetness and a definite festive feel. Try and find one from the Valdobbiadene region, a small area in Italy – near Venice - recognised for making fizz from the Prosecco grape that is a quality notch above the rest.

Christmas Lunch

I bloody love Christmas lunch. Being naturally greedy, I love being able to put so many different things on my plate all at once, trying out different food combinations with every forkful: a bit of turkey with cranberry sauce, my mother-in-law’s brussel sprout puree (the only way I’ll eat them) with a bit of sausage wrapped in bacon. Finding a wine that can cope with all these different flavours on one plate is not easy, so have both white wine and red wine on the table. Either stick to whatever colour you prefer or go crazy: have both! Not at the same time, obviously. I seem to start with a glass of white before sitting down to eat and move on to red with lunch. Acidity in the whites will help cut through the saltiness (bacon, sausages). Chablis - which is made from the Chardonnay grape - is often touted as the fail-safe match for turkey and so it is, but I prefer a rounder, almost creamier Chardonnay to cope with the mixed bag of savoury flavours. Last year we had a Chilean Chardonnay that worked a dream. This year I’m going for an old world classic Chardonnay from Burgundy in France; Meursault (if feeling reckless) or a white from the Macon region (if I’ve spent too much on presents).

For red, I’m going for a big Pinot. I love a good Pinot. Don’t always like the price (notoriously expensive and is a bugger of a grape to grow) but when it’s good, it is so worth it. Now, this grape’s natural homeland is France, Burgundy again to be precise. However, a country on the other side of the world has quietly been getting its Pinot act together over the last few years. New Zealand, specifically a region in the South Island called Central Otago, is producing some of the most delicious Pinot Noir wines I’ve tried over the last year. Again, not cheap but it really will help bring out all the flavours in the food. Often, I see Claret (that’s red wine from Bordeaux under another name) suggested as a good match for Christmas lunch but I find it can dominate the flavours and the tannin clashes with the fat. The less-tannic New Zealand Pinot Noir doesn’t fight with the food, if you know what I mean. If the price of the NZ Pinot puts you off, try one from Chile: arguably better value for money.

For pudding and/or cheese, I’m still usually on the red but if I remember to move on to the sweeties (darling) I am always glad I did. A small 37.5cl bottle of something sweet and sticky, especially Sauternes made from a blend of Semillon and Sauvignon grapes, is a suitably decadent way to wind it up. Made from grapes ripened and naturally rotted, the result is a wine with divinely concentrated sugars, flavours and balance that will match both sweet Christmas pudding and a savoury slab of Stilton.

And then there’s the Amaretto…

Happy Christmas!

KMx

You can find Helen’s blog, Knackered Mothers” Wine Club, just here.

If you want to find the wines that Helen recommended, the lovely Matt at Curious wines has given me the links for:

The Prosecco, The Chardonnay and The Pinot Noir

#1 at Cavan Cathedral’s Advent Concert

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So last night, we decided to give it a go and try and get to Cavan for the concert. #1 was singing a solo, and #2 is in the choir too, and we knew a lot of other people might not get in, so we braved the snow and ice and set off.

Long story (and lots of squealing and swearing on my part) short and an hour later we arrived at the Cathedral. It’s in the middle of blimmin’ nowhere (actually quite near the very gorgeous Radisson Blu estate) and is really lovely - you can see the beautiful stained glass windows glowing in the dark long before you see the actual building:

Soon it was time for The Mad Professor to do his stuff. Skipping over the fact that both my children forgot their blazers, The Death Wish Child forgot his tie AND has a big hole in his jumper (yes, we’re the pikey family), here they are. The little smirk when The Prof dropped his words made me laugh, and also his brother’s total disinterest in the background. And hasn’t the lovely girl he sang with got a beautiful voice too?

I caught Rev Craig’s eye and we shared a secret ‘proud parent’ smile (actually he is now the Venerable Craig, as he’s the Archdeacon now, but we still get to call him Rev - special dispensation doncherknow).

Tell you what, it was awesome how many people turned out in this dreadful weather. The Galway Cs were there - J played the trumpet (he’s incredible) and L was in the choir. There was a bit of an awkward moment when the collection plate came round and I realised I only had a €50. Happily I found two loose €1 coins in my bag just in time. Phew.

There is nothing like standing in a Cathedral full of people on a snowy night, singing ‘Silent Night’ to make your heart soar. Beautiful.

I am one proud mummy :)

Fabulous gifts for foodies. The Christmas Countdown Gift Guide (and free cheesecake!)

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Kicking off a whole series of gift guides, then, it makes sense to start with the foodies:

Fudge’s biscuits are yum scrum and make for a really nice foodie pressie. I can vouch for this as they very kindly sent us a tin (they’re really nice people too, which always helps) and there was practically a fist fight. I think they’re well priced as well for such a luxurious selection (£10.50 - available from Waitrose, Sainsbury’s, Tesco and Asda as well as good independent farm shops, delis and stores.)

If you’re looking for a fabulous foodie present to send within Ireland, look no further than Sheridans Hampers. Another really nice bunch of people (their cheese warehouse is quite near here and I often pop in for a gorgeous wedge of Parmesan or some lovely free-range eggs), their hampers start from €32.50 for a Port and Wine selection. Collection from any of their four locations across Ireland. Delivery can be arranged at extra cost. They can also custom-make hampers too. Visit Sheridanscheesemongers.com for more info.

The Travelling Souk has some really unusual gifty ideas. Check out the gorgeous stationery and the foodie section too. The textiles from Ochre and Ocre are beautiful quality (organic cotton oven gloves £15.00) and arrive gorgeously gift-wrapped:

as do these cute little Craven and Hargreaves heart-shaped hammered spoons - perfect to stir your fairtrade coffee after a huge Christmas dinner - which are delightfully packaged in a soft organza pouch too (£26.50 with free shipping).

The Three Sisters Indian Cookbook: Delicious, Authentic and Easy Recipes to Make at Home is written (as the name would suggest), by sisters Priya, who lives in Delhi, Alexa who lives in the UK and Sereena who lives in the USA. The recipes in the book are based on their mother’s authentic Indian dishes. The book is priced £8.50 on Amazon or you can purchase a set containing the book plus an authentic Indian spice box, priced £48, online at www.flavoursandspices.co.uk

Don’t forget the non-drinkers this Christmas. We had a little taste test here at English towers and thoroughly recommend the Shloer White Grape sparkling juice, as well as their rosé version. They look delectably fizzy in a flute and mean that the drivers (and the teens!) don’t feel like they’re missing out on the festive champers!

Pukka Licorice and Cinnamon Tea is gorgeously (and festively) packaged and makes a lovely foodie gift. It’s also good for the digestion (which could be a bonus after that Christmas dinner). Check out www.pukkaherbs.com for their full range:

and talking of tea and coffee, my lovely twitter friend Kathryn, has a great website called Coffee to a Tea. I asked her what she recommended for Christmas and she had the following ideas:

‘Its hard to choose a single product as a gift idea… I think since its Christmas I would probably suggest the Cinnamon Ground or wholebean coffee and/or for something a bit different the Berry Fruit Tisane which is fruity and light to combat the normal heavy Christmas fayre.’


I have to say that I’ve got my eye on the Chocolate Cherry ground coffee - what a great pressie! You can find Kathryn’s shop at coffeetoatea.co.uk and on twitter @coffeetoatea.

Other great websites for foodie gifts are foodado.com for a really interesting range of artisan and gourmet pressies, and my old favourite Vintage Wine Gifts who deliver great wines in lovely presentation boxes. I’ve used them a lot and can recommend their very efficient service.

But wait - what foodie gift guide would be complete without the lovely Green & Blacks? I heartily recommend a box or two of miniatures kept ready-wrapped and stashed in case of last minute guests. The brand new 24 miniature bar collection, made up of eight of the best selling flavours - Dark, Milk, Creamy Milk, Butterscotch, Almond, Cherry, Ginger and White costs £8.99 from the usual supermarkets, etc. Of course if you manage not to give them away, then you can discover them on Boxing day and eat them yourself. Bonus.

And finally, the little chef elves at the English Cheesecake Company have been busy again this year making lots of lovely cheesecakes for Christmas. There’s White Chocolate and Cranberry - creamy white chocolate cheesecake blended with delicious fresh chunks of cranberry and white chocolate on top of a heavenly digestive biscuit base. Or there’s the Brandy Snap cheesecake stuffed with crispy brandy snaps and a brandy butter centre, or for those who don’t like cheesecake, there’s a deep deluxe Irish Fudge Cake with an Irish Cream topping and moist chocolate brownie chunks, and finally there’s the Pecan Pie baked vanilla cheesecake, with Dulche de Leche toffee glazing over a generous pecan topping. Yum scrum. Each 8″ inch cheesecake serves 12 and prices start from £24.99 including free UK delivery. Just click on: www.englishcheesecake.com

And as a special treat, just email me via the contact form at the top of the page with CHEESECAKE in the title and tell me which cheesecake you’d most like to scoff, along with your name and address. The winner will win the cheesecake of their choice delivered to their door. UK only entries please. Competition closes Wednesday 8th December.

This competition is now closed. Congratulations to Sharon Hingley, who won her choice of a white chocolate and cranberry cheesecake!