The Friday photo: Et tu, Berte?

“Is nothing bloody sacred in this house?  I drive to the shop in the peeing rain to get myself some chocolate so that when I finally get to sit down in the evening I’ve got something to nibble on, and what happens?  It disappears!  I mean, it’s not as though I didn’t buy you lot something as well.  There were flippin’ Chocolate Kimberleys there for you gannets and there’s always stuff in the chocky drawer and you STILL nick my bloody Maltesers.  Oy!  Are you lot even listening to me?  I said who nicked my…

Oh.

Never mind.”

26 Responses to “The Friday photo: Et tu, Berte?”

1. Taffy's Mum says:

   October 10, 2008 at 10:39 am

   Oh dear Bert – you were sprung

   William sympathises with you as he had the Battenburg Cake box on his bed with an empty crisp bag next to it but it would appear OH had scoffed the nice edible parts and left the wrappings for William to shred!

   Guess who is having to clear up the shredded mess today ….?
2. English Mum says:

   October 10, 2008 at 10:51 am

   TM: Blinkin’ thieving little arabs! I mean, I try to do my best for greyhound public relations, but I could happily smack him in his ‘oh I’m so full up I couldn’t eat another bite’ smug little chops!!! He does that hoovering up of empty packets thing, but not usually the full ones!! x
3. Susan says:

   October 10, 2008 at 11:38 am

   Bert’s a class act. My dog eats the wrapper and all to destroy the evidence and then stares accusingly at the kids.

   Poop tells all, in the end.

   Or out the end.

   You know.

   Sorry about the Maltesers anyhow!
4. Jennifer (Bert's Legal Representation!!!). says:

   October 10, 2008 at 11:43 am

   As Bert’s legal representative I must insist that no further accusations of theft are made until the Court hearing has been concluded.

   My client will be claiming for pain and suffering as a result of these derogatory accustions, and also a claim for my costs in this matter will be included.
5. Thriftcriminal says:

   October 10, 2008 at 12:26 pm

   Looks like a fit-up to me. Who stands to benefit from framing Bert?
6. Jennifer (Bert's No 1 Fan!) says:

   October 10, 2008 at 1:35 pm

   He’s definitely been framed!!
7. Moon says:

   October 10, 2008 at 2:12 pm

   It’s a set up…. ask those pesky kids…. BERT IS INNOCENT !!!
8. englishmuminireland says:

   October 10, 2008 at 2:39 pm

   Susan: Ah Bert did that with a whole pack of Viscount biscuits once. He had sparkly green poo for ages! x

   Thrifty: You’re so suspicious. Nope, it was definitely him. There’s chocolate squished all over his paw-print blankie which is not apparent from the pic. Honest.

   Jenn: See, I knew you’d be on his side. All that cute, spindliness works to his advantage. Although I’m not sure splindliness is really a word

   Moon: Nope. They were gutted too – they probably would have pinched half of them off me!
9. toria nightingale says:

   October 10, 2008 at 2:48 pm

   lol blueness would have eaten the evidence…..and i’d have found it next morning in the garden lol
10. Jennifer (Bert's No 1 Fan!) says:

    October 10, 2008 at 2:53 pm

    I don’t think spindliness is a word???!!!! I have to admit though, he does look rather full. But how on earth did he get the packets open, or did he just munch through them. Our doggie is munching his way through his bed and yet another garden hose…so his poo has little yellow and red bits in it. Can’t be good for him!
11. English Mum says:

    October 10, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    Toria: I almost daren’t ask! Someone told me that chocolate’s poisonous to dogs but he seems rather perky still.

    Jenn: Yeh I think he just chewed them. The Kimberleys were all squished in the packet though so he didn’t manage to get them all open. Little sod! x
12. English Mum says:

    October 10, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    Oh and Jenn (sorry, you were in the spam filter): before you start preparing the case for the defence, I’d like to point out that he’s lying next to me on the sofa and just did a very incriminating, chocolatey burp.
13. Jennifer (Bert's No 1 Fan!) says:

    October 10, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    Yes sorry sorry, my fault for changing my name!

    Sh*te, chocolately burps are not going to help convince the jury.
14. Shiv says:

    October 10, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    As the owner of a thieving greyhound, you have my utmost sympathy. Unfortunately it is a trait they never lose. Our “Shadow” has the same Doggy Hoots Dirty Rotten Kitty toy as Bert – aren’t they the best?
15. Moon says:

    October 10, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    No, still believe it was a stich up … Hubby ?, kids ate half, then pushed the blame onto innocent Bert …..????

    BERT IS INNOCENT !!!
16. Number One says:

    October 10, 2008 at 6:30 pm

    I am absolutely innocent I swear. Bert did it. I watched him
17. English Mum says:

    October 10, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    Jenn: I think they could be crucial in his conviction. And they smell terrible.

    Shiv: Welcome! Quick – spring to my defence, they’re all ganging up on me! Oh and Bert just totally ignores the Dirty Rotten Kitty. Well, occasionally he uses it as a pillow, but he never plays – uses up valuable sleeping time!

    Moon: Are you going to start a Free the Cavan One campaign? Only don’t bother ‘cos I bought another pack x

    #1: I know, darling. Ignore Uncle Moon, he’s just old and confused xxx
18. Baino says:

    October 10, 2008 at 9:16 pm

    Well look here! At least he’s not a labrador because mine would have eaten the packet as well and destroyed the evidence. And he is genuinely contrite, look, he has his tail between his legs! Smoochies . . .
19. jennynib says:

    October 10, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    # 1. C’mon outta that young fella! I know what’s what.

    Blaming an innocent dog – for shame!!

    
20. English Mum says:

    October 10, 2008 at 9:52 pm

    Baino: Contrite? HA! He’s lying there all fat and chocolated up, scratching shit out of my curtains – that’s not contrite that’s comatose!!

    Jen: You too? And you know what a thieving furry sod he is (Bert, not #1)
21. Tara says:

    October 11, 2008 at 12:05 am

    Isn’t chocolate dangerous for him? My sister’s dog once downed a whole carton of fancy chocolate liquer bottles and the vet was extremly distressed with the situation, as were Tory and I when we had to feed the dog bread soaked in hydrogen peroxide to induce vomiting. It was not a fun day for anyone. The worst part was she ate the bread so greedily and happily, like she couldn’t believe what a lucky day she was having, what with the cholcolate and now this–because we spiked it with peanut butter to trick her into ingesting it.
22. Moon says:

    October 11, 2008 at 1:52 am

    Number one, come on, don’t stitch the poor dog up…. I am not old and confused, we know the truth ……

    I’m buying the T-shirt … BERT IS INNOCENT !!
23. English Mum says:

    October 11, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    Tara: That’s what I thought, but Bert’s eaten tons of the stuff to no ill effect: I’m talking HUGE bars of dark chocolate (I did consult Big C, Jen’s other half and resident greyhound expert for that one), but no, he was fine. He ate a whole pack of butter once too. Mind you, that came back up….

    Moon: Seriously, give it up. I have more :0)
24. jennynib says:

    October 11, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    I consider myself a bit of an expert in the field since a certain fawn greyhound belonging to a certain English Mum (no names, no scandal) helped herself to a glass of Merlot and half a box of Belgian chocolates while I was out of the room. (I know, shoyld’ve though but she was ASLEEP!)

    Cue frantic call to vet who said it should be fine. Apparantly, chocolate increases the heart rate and while once off mistakes aren’t life threatening, regular consumption is.

    As for knowing that Bert’s a thieving sod… I prefer to think of it more as selflessly saving his beloved family from potentially lethal sugars and carbs…

    Buy it? Didn’t think so…
25. English Mum says:

    October 11, 2008 at 5:21 pm

    Jen: Nice try, but nah. And also, I’ve used Bert as a pillow on a regular basis, and believe me when I say that his heart only beats about once a fortnight, so I don’t think the chocolate has affected him. LOL!

    Ah, Good Girl Becks – wasn’t she a wan? A girl after my own heart – especially in the alcohol and chocolate consumption stakes!!
26. Kate says:

    October 14, 2008 at 7:23 am

    If I have learnt one thing from my experience with greyhounds – it is that they are absolutely innocent – even when surrounded by evidence – stuffing out of toys, chewed pens, bits of baguette – my daughters trainers, ripped, chewed, and pulled apart, my daughter’s boots (see last description) the look on Hippies face is one of absolute amazement – ‘Who did this? What a mess! Let me give you a big soppy kiss and I’ll help to clear it up. Bet it was that bloody cat again?’