Happy Friday! It’s a beautiful sunny day outside so I’m off to clean out the chickens: Lucy, my original Wyandotte (the only one who turned out to be female) and our new chook, Lily, who was a replacement for all the boys and who, incidentally, has started producing eggs finally! YAY!
In other news, my lovely friend Kerry reckons that you can tell whether someone’s either a knob or someone you could have a pint with from this simple Q&A session based on the questions in the Grauniad’s Weekend Magazine. I do hope I don’t come out in the ‘knob’ category..
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
My sister in law, Laura. She is kind, gentle, genuine, easy to talk to and has the most wickedly naughty sense of humour. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t love her to bits. She manages to find the filthiest birthday cards of anyone I’ve ever met, too.
When were you happiest
Lying by the pool in Mexico watching my children messing in the pool, Mojito in hand and my hubby snoozing on the next sunbed.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
I used to work in a police control room. I once farted on the night shift when everything was deadly quiet. Mortified.
Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
A Raymond Weil watch for my husband’s 40th (the family chipped in, but it was still the most expensive thing I’ve ever handed over money for).
What is your most treasured possession?
My children, if I’m allowed to call them possessions? They are funny, independent, feisty, exasperating and wonderful, all at once. Other than that, my engagement ring, which belonged to my husband’s grandmother.
Where would you like to live?
Wherever my family are, but given recent events, my ideal location would be the home counties.
What’s your favourite smell?
Just one? Never. Lilies, fresh bread, green grass, chocolate cake, hot sand, Palmer’s Cocoa Butter, Johnson’s baby talc, Gorse and Bounty bars.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
You’d have to ask Liz. There’s some actress that she reckons looks exactly like me. Can’t think of her name though… Elizabeth someone?
What is your favourite book?
Changes all the time. At the moment, I’d go… cookbook: ‘Cakes’ by Pam Corbin is sublime. Normal book? Probably ‘Under the Tuscan Sun’ by Frances Mayes.
What is your most unappealing habit?
I’m rather shouty and excitable, I’m told. When I was little, I began to wonder if my name was actually ‘shush’.
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
I have a choice? Good. I’ll stay at home. I hate parties.
What is your earliest memory?
Wearing a red dress with cherries embroidered on it
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Gin. In all its forms, but ultimately Sipsmith, with Schweppes slimline tonic, lots of ice and a slice of lemon.
What do you owe your parents?
I owe them everything: from my ability to spell and understand basic grammar, to my absolute lack of any kind of financial understanding to writing thank you letters and saying please and thank you. Everything that make me, well, me. Plus several thousand quid in loaned dosh over the years that I never paid back.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
I’ve said my sorries (sorrys?) as I went along, but to my Mum, for being the most revolting teenager. To my Dad for answering back to practically everything he’s ever said to me. To my husband for scratching the car then saying it wasn’t me.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
What does love feel like?
Warm sun on a Mexican poolside.
What was the best kiss of your life?
I don’t know about the best, but the most memorable was the kiss at our wedding blessing on our 15th anniversary. Surrounded by our family and friends – everyone clapped and cheered. I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest, I was that happy.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
‘Ooh’. I’m a terrible ‘ooh’er. And ‘shit’. I’ve an appalling potty mouth, too.
What is the worst job you’ve done?
How much time have you got? I’ve been a secretary, an apprentice hairdresser (for about a week), worked in a shop, cooked in a pub, temped in about a million places… Probably for sheer subject matter, and occasional horror, the worst was the police. However, it was also the most exciting and fulfilling too. Go figure.
If you could edit your past, what would you change?
My first marriage. Idiotically young and criminally expensive for my poor parents. It didn’t last a year.
What is the closest you’ve come to death?
As far as I know I’ve always been very lucky – never even broken a bone. Of course, I could have unwittingly just stepped aside as a fridge fell from a tall building behind me, or bent to pick up a coin just as a stray bullet whistled past my head… but I guess I’ll ever know.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Apart from having my children, which was hardly an ‘achievement’, I’d say this blog. It has taken me to amazing places, brought me incredible opportunities and created life long friendships. I’m very proud of it.
When did you last cry, and why?
Reading an email from my Mum when she said ‘no-one has ever, or ever will, criticise you while I stand!! Go with your heart‘. I blubbed like a girl.
How do you relax?
There’s generally gin involved… and cake.
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Having all my family in one place.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Don’t write it down. If you’re angry or upset, don’t write it. Talk to the person face to face. The written word can come back to haunt you.
Tag you’re it!