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Stuffing my face. All over the place.
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Family Travel News and Holiday Reviews
Family, food, travel, gin and a touch of hysteria…
ENGLISH MUM IN THE PRESS

A mass of contradictions

I am, dearest reader, dazed and confused. And no, it’s not because I’m sitting in the library, still suffering from broadband-withdrawal, although that’s true too. No, I’m homesick. At home.

I don’t even know if I can explain. You know that feeling you get when you’ve just come back from the most amazing holiday and it’s back-to-work-Monday-morning? Well it’s kind of like that. And it’s kind of like the feeling you used to get at school, that first day back in September, in an uncomfortable collar and squeaky new shoes.

Nothing fits.

My wonderful friends here in chilly Hertfordshire have welcomed me back with open arms: lovely Tums, one of my oldest (and most glamorous) friends, had the most magical, amazing and fittingly glamorous 40th birthday party in a beautiful old country house hotel. We dined in a private room, danced until we had to take our shoes and hobble home, and ate beautiful pink cupcakes for dessert. I loved every minute (and you know I’m not really a party person). Then Mr and Mrs Foxy, more of our long-term friends, threw us a ‘welcome back to England’ dinner party, with lashings of wine, fantastic food, a roaring fire in their beautiful home, and laughter until our sides ached.

My friends have re-opened their social circle and slotted me back in. I’m beyond grateful.

So it’s not that, then.

I miss my dog. Yes, he was growly and unsociable on occasions.  He hogged the sofa and hurled himself at guests. And yes, we thought we were doing the right thing by having him rehomed. But now I’m not so sure. I miss tootling down the boat road together and writing my blog with his head resting on my lap, looking at me with his ‘a walk now, please?’ stare.  Should I get another one?  Hubby says he doesn’t mind.  I just don’t know. 

And I miss all our Irish friends… The Lovelies, Poppy’s Mum and D-next-door.  But I’m glad to be home, have spent lots of time with the wondrous English Grandma and seen my brothers, nephew and my beautiful nieces.

But I’ve argued with my Dad.  I never argue with my Dad.  I adore him.  I don’t, however, adore his partner.  It’s all wrong.

My new kitchen is nice. It’s got the same oven as English Towers, but it’s not my oven. We’ve got a garden, it’s not big, but it’s nice, really.  Maybe I should get some chickens?  Or maybe not.  The new occupants of English Towers say that it’s all lit up for Christmas.  They’re so happy there and I’m really pleased for them.  They keep in touch and tell me not to worry.

So what’s wrong with me?  I’m usually all Christmassed-up by this stage in December.  I haven’t bought a single present.  Although, as I bake in a crisis, I have baked, and consumed, my own body weight in mince pies.

Bleurgh.

To Ireland, with love.

English Towers in the snow (c) Englishmum.com

So that’s it, then.  Packing has commenced, the chickens have been collected in a trailer and carted off to their new home,  and in a very short time we shall land back on terra firma in the good old Kingdom of United.

I have mixed feelings, frankly.  When we first moved to Dublin I was miserable.  I missed my friends, my family, the familiarity of having lived in a place your whole life; bumping into people you know in Tesco (frankly, being able to even go to Tesco without an hour’s round trip).  It was rotten.  The children hated their new school (#1 was the only native English speaker in his class), everything was alien, everything shut for lunch, or on a Monday, or on a Wednesday or had to be requested in writing, and I lasted about 6 weeks before I fled home, leaving poor Hubby blinking in a bewildered fashion in a big empty Irish house.

Still, we made it back.  And with a new school for the boys, a new dog (the wonderful and much missed Becks), a new friend in Jenny and a new blog to take up my time (EnglishMuminIreland.blogs.ie – where it all began), I started to settle in.  The Irish are a wonderful breed: open, friendly, always up for a laugh, never too busy to help…  With Hubby’s new job we found ourselves here in Cavan and from the moment we walked over the threshold of English Towers, we felt at home.  With the lovely C next door already terminally ill when we arrived, a sad by-product of being able to help in small ways like minding children or fetching medicine from the chemist was that we (selfishly) felt needed and wanted very quickly.  We made friends with The Lovelies, the Galway Cs and Poppy’s Mum and her family (if you’re new here, check out ‘All about me’ at the top of the screen for more info), all via D, who was unceasingly generous with both his time and his friends, and have felt happily and contendedly as though we were home for the past two years.  D now has a new, lovely lady in his life.  The children are delighted and so are we.  We wish them all the love and happiness that they so deserve.

But things change.  The Recession came and bit us on the bum and it’s time to move on again.  I’ll miss the beautiful countryside, the wonderful people and the laid back lifestyle, but the hustle and bustle of town life is calling me back too.  Living in this huge house with the dog and the chickens and the lovely garden has been a massive adventure for us all.  The children have made lifelong friends, received a fantastic education and enjoyed some amazing life experiences.  They have benefitted immeasurably from their time here, as have the Hubby and I.  We’ve been lucky enough to share this fantastic place with our friends and family when they came over for our wedding blessing and have even been welcomed into the new community of the church by the kind and gentle Revd Craig - something I never would have imagined in a million years.  I know we’ll return so much more open to new experiences, and with a fresh appreciation for all the people and places that we’ve missed over the last four years.

Onwards and upwards, then.  Pass the bubble wrap.  Goodbye Emerald Isle.  It’s been a blast.

Hay bale (c) Englishmum.com

Ah, nothing like a bit of child labour…

Get a move on there, slacker...

Get a move on there, slacker...

… to get a job done quicker.  And yes, the new lilac/grey/blue/pearly kitchen coming on rather swimmingly, thanks.

Note to self: dogs and empty houses? Uh uh.

Back live!  Hope you’ve all missed my inane ramblings.  We had a lovely time in England – saw all the family and had a fab trip up to London (details to follow).  One thing that was slightly ominous while we were there, though, was a text from D.  All his texts had been ‘dog fine, stop asking’, ‘been for a walk, he’s grand’, etc, but then I received one that said : ‘Been trying to ring.  Dog fine but couple of toilet accidents and he has damaged window sill in hallway (badly).  Wood can be replaced don’t stress’ 

Stress?  Me?  Nooooooo.  The dog’s just eating my house and I’m in a different country.  What else can possibly go wrong?  Well, lots apparently.  D then locked him in the kitchen thinking he’d contain the damage but oh no.  Bert started on the wall next to the back door:

Wall 1

And then the utility room door:

Door

And then my lovely bar stools:

Bar stools

And then the back door itself:

Door handle

And this was the window ledge – not sure if you can see but he’s actually completely broken the corner off too:

Window ledge

I’m completely dumbfounded to be honest.  He’s never so much as chewed a shoe before – yes okay so he’s nicked the odd bar of chocolate we left lying around, but this?  Apparently he was absolutely fine for the first four days, then D and the gang started to hear him crying in the house and no matter how much time they spend with him, every time they left him alone he did more damage.  And poor Lou – however grown up she is, it’s not fun to have to clear up a big dog poo that Bert generously left her on the landing carpet.  He’s never ever messed in the house either.  All I can put it down to is stress.  It’s my own fault – Hubby decided to join us at the last minute and I thought Jen would have Bert, and then when she couldn’t, it turned out that his innoculations had lapsed and I couldn’t get him into kennels.  D, Lou and Little C did me a great favour saying that they’d look after him, come in four or five times a day, take him for long walks, etc, but he just obviously couldn’t cope with the nights on his own.

I’m not cross.  Actually I feel really guilty.  Poor Bert, he didn’t know what to do when we came home – he was crying with excitement at the same time as shying away from us as he knew he’d done something wrong.  I wonder what the hell my house insurer is going to say about this little mess.

In which English Towers suffers a stinky situation

Following on nicely, then, from all our chat about self sufficiency/knitting your own yoghurt/composting toilets, etc, I think I’ve mentioned before that here at English Towers we’re a teeny, tiny bit eco-friendly.  Firstly we’ve got those very thick, specially insulated walls that mean you can forget trying to hang a picture, because one tap with the hammer sees you elbow deep in your plasterboard, however it does make it incredibly warm upstairs, which flows nicely downstairs and saves on the costs of the heating system, which, coincidentally, runs separately upstairs to down.  Good eh?

Secondly, and yes, I’m getting to the point now, we have one of those ‘bio-flow’ systems for our..er…waste.  Here’s the rub, as understood by my peanut-sized brain, and with no technical terms thrown in: the toilets and sinks are linked up to a drainage system which take all our household ick to a big green tank which is buried in the garden.  Here, a small constantly running motor injects a supply of air into the ick which bubbles through, aerates the ick and encourages bacteria to break it down to a liquid which is then fed into the garden by a system of tentacles planted all under the lawn, where it harmlessly, odourlessly seeps away.  This system doesn’t create any harmful gases (apparently – they haven’t met my children) and leaves a very small amount of  ‘sludge’  which collects in the bottom and only needs ‘de-sludging’ (I know, it’s a fantastic phrase) every 5 years.  Here it is with the lid off (and yes, I took the photo from inside – it was very bloody smelly):

The ick tank

Trouble is, ours broke.  We noticed first of all that weird things were happening: if you flushed a toilet, water bubbled up in the shower.  We got worried.  And then we looked outside in the drains and we were even more worried:

Hubby: ‘oh look, there’s one of yours’

Me: ‘I think you’ll find that’s not mine’

Hubby: ‘oh right of course not, yours don’t smell, do they’

Me: ‘nope.  And mine are pink and sparkly’

Cue several days’ worth of quality poo jokes and lots of worried conversations with the water treatment company.  Turns out, when we finally got the bloody lid off, that the air hose had popped off and had been happily aerating half of Cavan instead of our poo for the last goodness knows how long.  One look into the main tank and we knew we had one giant, stinky problem.  The system had completely broken down and we needed help fast. 

Long story short, then, we had to had to be ‘de-sludged’ and have our pipes cleaned before the whole process was ever going to start working again.  To add insult to injury it turns out that our gates aren’t wide enough to allow one man, his tractor and his de-sludging equipment through, so we had to do a bit of long-distance desludging, which doesn’t exactly help matters.

Who built those bloody gates?

The whole thing cost a packet and was extremely stinky.  See what happens when you try and go eco-friendly?  Next up is a visit from the bio-flow company who are, unfortunately, based in Cork.

And no, sadly, this was no April Fool’s joke.  Still, as I pointed out to Hubby, we may be cash poor, but we’re poo rich.

The Friday photo: what a difference a week makes

Lovely day

 So I wake up this morning (first one up, don’t you just love half term?) and walk outside with Bert, bracing myself, to be confronted by…sunshine.  I’m a  little shocked at first.  What’s this?  The sun on my face?  I rush back upstairs and fling open the curtains to show Hubby.  ‘Look!  You can even see the windfarm through the mist!’ 

This was the same view less than a week ago:

Snowy day

And here’s a close-up of that skyline.  And then I remember exactly why I love living here.  Half an hour’s drive to Tesco?  Pah.  I’ll settle for it, in exchange for this view.

Windfarm

 

Oh, and the Friday Fridge?  It’s over at Aussie’s house.

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