ENGLISH MUM

Guest Post Day: in which Rosie Scribble takes over at English Mum

The surreal and unpredictable world of blogging

It is with some apprehension, I suspect, that English Mum has handed her blog over to me for the day while she guest posts on mine.  She has given me free reign over her corner of cyberspace and permission to write whatever I like.  Only in the rather surreal world of blogging would anyone invite a friend over despite the fact they have never actually met in real life.  Thankfully, English Mum is a great ‘virtual’ friend so I’m comfortable visiting here and she has left her fridge well stocked for me.  There’s even a cupcake or two with my name on.

My own blog is generally a light-hearted look at life as the single parent of a six-year-old who thinks she runs the household.  However, I do catch people off guard at times by throwing in a very heavy post or by attempting to tackle issues I feel strongly about – like six year olds taking SATS exams.

As a result, English Mum really has no idea what angle this post is going to take or where any of this is heading…

Well, it’s all about the surreal and unpredictable world of blogging.  Several months ago I received an email from a fabulous blogger whose posts I’d read but had never had contact with before.  She asked a group of us if we would be interested in using our blogs to raise money for the Haiti earthquake victims.  Naturally, we all agreed and between us we managed to raise over £4000. That blogger was English Mum.  We have emailed and tweeted ever since and have become good friends.  I’ve read her posts with interest, she has commented on mine, and I’ve also become friends with @EnglishGrandma on twitter, who I must add is a gem.

Now, thanks to Little Mummy’s Guest Blog Day, I have been given this unexpected opportunity to guest post on English Mum’s blog.  Only in Blogland could things like this happen.

My life is slightly different to English Mum’s.  For one thing I cannot bake – a fact that may alarm many readers.  So, there will be no recipe suggestions here.  Also, I am yet to enter the slightly scary and unpredictable world of parenting teenagers.  My daughter is just six.

So while English Mum tackles the issues of secondary schools, homework, adopting greyhounds, dog training, handling sleepovers, writing sensible book reviews, producing incredible recipes, and tackling the issue of political correctness with a teenager on her own blog, my life is a little different.

Conversations with a six-year-old tend to start with questions such as these:

• Is Santa watching me?

• Why is Grandpa’s hair grey but Granny’s isn’t?

• Why can’t I have chocolate for breakfast?

• Is Granny the same age as you?

• Can I have a pair of high-heeled shoes?

• Where do babies come from?

So you see, slightly different, for now at least, although things will change of course as they always do.  You never know, one day I may become inspired to start baking.  Stranger things have happened.

For regular readers hoping for a more food-themed post, my daughter has obliged by posing with her favourite party cake book:

She has also chosen a complicated Mermaid cake with elaborate blue icing that I suspect only English Mum could bake.  There’s time though, her birthday is not until July

If you want to find me today, I’m over at Rosie Scribble’s blog making Lemon Meringue Cupcakes – pop over and say hi!

EM xx

In which my mojo returns and I make ganache with Green & Black’s

So as you know, I kinda lost my blogging mojo.

It all started to really bug me.  I mean, what am I exactly? A foodie blogger? In which case, should I concentrate on food, and not talk so much arse? Or am I a ‘mummy blogger’ (how I hate the term)? A foodie mummy blogger? A foodie blogger who’s also a mummy? A doggy blogger?  A foodie doggy mummy blogger?  A blogging mummy foodie… er… dogger?

I think I’m kind of ‘none of the above’, really. I’m a blogger who happens to be a mother of two ridiculously fantastic and hilariously funny boys of whom I’m immensely proud. And I’m a foodie. But I’m also a wife, a very occasional journalist (One article this year so far, count it: one.), and a daughter of quite the most spectacularly mental parents you could wish for. I write about food, yes, and I write about kids, but then I write about all sorts of old rubbish besides those two things and an awful lot more besides: greyhounds, chickens, ‘bollocks’ pies, sexual gymnastics…

So I decided I wouldn’t pigeonhole myself. I would let my verbal vomit run free.  I would practice ‘no holds barred’ blogging – ‘blogging sans frontieres’, if you would.   And do you know what? My mojo came back.

The return of the missing mojo was also partly due to the lovely chaps at Green & Black’s sending me a mahoosive parcel of chocolate. I mean, whose mojo could remain missing when surrounded by about ten different flavours of the most fabulous chocolate in the world?

And seeing as we’ve got the ginormous Cupcake Challenge in the offing, I thought I’d say a few words about chocolate and a few more about ganache:

A few words about chocolate

Chocolate, especially decent chocolate like Green and Black’s needs gentle treatment.  That means that melting it in the microwave is a bit of a no no in my book, as the microwave can create hotspots and burn the chocolate or turn it grainy.  The best way is to place it in a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of hot water.  Make sure the water isn’t touching the bottom of the bowl, and when the water starts to bubble, just turn it off and allow the chocolate to melt gently.  I’m a bit anal, but I don’t like to stir until it’s completely melted:

Furthermore, there’s no point in bunging in a bar of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk (as nice as it is) – you need something good quality with a high cocoa content, and for cooking, good cocoa butter content will make for easier melting.  I tried Green and Black’s Milk Cook’s Chocolate (one of many in my stash) and was really pleased with the result: melted easily? Check. Nice milky taste? Check.  No hint of graininess?  Check.  Furthermore, each little square weighs exactly 5g.  Magic!

A few more about ganache:

There’s some kind of ridiculous snobbery about ganache.  I mean, just because it’s got a poncy French name it doesn’t mean it has to be poncy itself: it’s just cream and chocolate for goodness’ sake.  If you make it runny you can pour it over things as a glaze, or if you make it stiffer you can make truffles, you can chill it and whip it and then pipe it on things too, but it’s still just chocolate and cream.

Anyhoo, so just whisk your cream into your melted chocolate until you get the required consistency (as above), then pour or spread over your cake as required.  For piping, bung it in the fridge, then give it a whisk before filling your piping bag.

Et voila. Ganache.  Magnifique, n’est-ce pas?

(Oh and these little beauties are red velvet cupcakes, taken from an awesomely, beautiful new book called ‘Eat Me’ by Xanthe Milton which is due to be published on Mar 4th – and guess who’s getting a review copy?!)

In which the YTPR comes to tea and talks me into being sociable

I am miserable.

I am also baking. 

This is a bad mixture.  At the best of times, I am the most spectacularly messy baker in the history of messy baking so I’m crashing stuff around, I have flour on my nose, every surface in the kitchen is covered in packets, bowls, utensils, half-chopped almonds and blobs of cookie dough… the mixer is going full pelt…

The doorbell rings and I yell at #2 to get the door. 

It’s the YTPR, Craig.  He obviously has the same amazing ability as Mr Lovely for sniffing out baking the moment it goes into the oven.

‘Hello!’, says the Rev, ‘I’m stalking you’.

‘Come in’, says I, ‘…and two emails and one blog comment don’t technically count as stalking.  Cup of tea?’

‘Oh go on, then’, he says, ‘ooh, are you baking?’

We chat and drink tea as I continue to hurl things into the Very Special Anniversary KitchenAid.  He threatens to tell Jen that I moaned that the whisk doesn’t get right to the edges.

He’s noticed, via my blog posts (that’s the way my life works) that I seem a bit down.  We chat some more.  He mentions that several of his female parisioners get together on a Tuesday for a few nibbles and a chat – nothing heavy or religious, just a bit of mutual support and a few cookies…

‘Whoah…’

[Cue sound of needle screeching across record]

‘I’m not very good at socialising’, says I.  It’s true.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me, really, as I’m quite friendly – but there’s something about socialising that scares the living crap out of me.  I envisage a group of women all chatting and having fun.  I walk in, and it goes all quiet like that scene in the pub in American Werewolf.  I then continue to compound my awkward situation by uttering a string of increasingly absurd things.  Eventually, they all throw their cookies at me and leave.  Stupid, I know, but I can’t help it.

He reassures me that they’re all really friendly.  His wife goes (I like his wife).  One lady is a real foodie and does catering and makes chutneys and stuff…

‘What, like chutneys and chilli jam and stuff?’

‘Yeah, stuff like that’

‘Okay then, I’ll think about it.  Biscuit?’

‘Oh go on, then.’

Personal blogging: cathartic or a step too far?

I was interested to read (on Twitter, via my friend Laura) that the legendary blogger, Petite Anglaise, was hanging up her keyboard once and for all.  And although our thoughts turned first to the fact that it will leave a space in the #1 slot of the Top 100 British Mummy Bloggers chart (elbows out, girls!…hey, hang on, I’m down 9 places to #15 – the shame!), her reasons for ‘turning the page’ on blogging were very interesting.

It seems that personal blogging, the very thing that earned her the lucrative book deal and led to a career as a writer, had started to leave an unpleasant taste in her mouth.  If you don’t know the story, she famously got fired by her boss, about whom she was distinctly unpleasant, when her anonymous blog came to light  (she did subsequently win damages against him in court, though).  The story made her quite famous, but once the anonymity had been removed, there was the constant worry that somebody would be upset or offended with what she might say, and with that new-found worry came the inevitable dearth of subject matter.  Interesting, also, that it was THIS INTERVIEW with Liz Jones, a weirdly neurotic, no-holds-barred journo who has managed to alienate half her family and her entire village (including my friend and fellow Disney 7er Exmoor Jane) with her bare-all style of writing, that finally tipped her over the edge.  But in short, she just stopped enjoying it.

I sympathise, I really do.  When I started my blog, way back when we first moved to Ireland, I was obsessive about anonymity and never posted pictures of anyone I knew.  Slowly, I’ve relaxed this rule.  I still try not to post full-face photos of the children, or anyone whose permission I haven’t sought (Mad Uncle Alg is fair game, obviously), and don’t mention people’s full names.  But now we’re settled here, it’s natural that more and more people get to know me, start to read the blog, and my cover has been, I suppose, somewhat blown.  In fact, I’ve even been caught out giving my rather frank views by someone that turned out to be a reader.  Yup, that was awkward.  I’d hate to think I’d ever hurt anyone by what I’d written and I’ll always check first with, say, D-next-door before I mention C, or the kids.

With all this in mind, I’ve had a long hard think about this blog and did decide to go back and remove certain pictures and videos, including our wedding vid.  You can still email me for a link, but I wondered if I was going too far towards making my family live a life online, so I took a step back.

Add this to the fact that I now write for other websites, such as the fabulous HaveALovelyTime.com and you’ll probably find my first name dotted about, if you really look hard.  Funnily enough, when I, and my fellow Disney adventurers travelled to Walt Disney World and met up with our American alter-egos, the ‘Mommy Bloggers’, they were completely dumbfounded by our wish to remain anonymous.  Most published their full names, pictures of themselves and their families and couldn’t understand why we wouldn’t wish to do the same:

‘What, you don’t WANT to be famous?’ 

‘Erm, no, actually, I don’t’.

Englishmum.com is a, I suppose, a bit of an eccentric mix.  There’s family stuff, yes, but the foodie/garden stuff tends to take precendence.  And if I’m honest, I suppose that as the children get older, it’s harder to write honestly without risking embarrassing them in front of their school mates (#1’s been known to comment whilst in his IT lesson).  My readership has risen steadily (thank you!) and though I’m sure I’ve lost and gained different readers as my content has meandered, I am lucky to be blessed with friendly and loyal readers and commenters.  I regard my blog as a little piece of me.  It’s stuffed full of things that I love and I’m always happy that people pop in and enjoy reading my waffle.

And this, I suppose, brings me neatly on to the fact that after much soul-searching, we’ve decided to have Bert rehomed.  This is a HUGE decision for us, but basically he’s been showing some signs of aggression for a while and obviously our children have to be our main priority.  There’s a load of history behind this that I won’t bore you with, but my lovely mate Jen  is still in touch with a lot of people in greyhound rescue, and is going to make sure he goes to a good home somewhere with people that know his history and will really love and care for him well.  I’m sad, but I think it’s the right thing to do.

So for now, I’ll crack on (800 posts, 8553 comments and counting…), I’ll continue to be anonymous-ish, and there’ll be the same old stuff – maybe a bit more food and a bit less about the fellas, and obviously no more Bert, but don’t worry, if anyone humiliates themselves in any way, you’ll be the first to know.

Oh and here’s my rather pathetic review on Mmmmmmcake. ‘It was nice’? C minus for effort there.

Around the world in 80 clicks: Mum bloggers

So there’s lots of Mum bloggers.  Here at home I’m a Mummy blogger, but to everyone else here in Ireland I’m a Mammy blogger and in the US I suppose I’d be a Mommy blogger.  Titles schmitles, we’re all linked by being some little yoke’s Ma at the end of the day.  So a Mom Blogger in Canada decided that she’d try to link her way around the world via us loons that have offspring and blog about it.  The basic premise is that you talk about five things you love about being a Mum, then pass it on to create a ‘hands across the globe’ type thing of all that’s good about being a Mum.  Irish Mammy tagged K8 the GR8 and K8 tagged me.  I, in turn, will tag someone else and so it will go on, hopefully right back round to Canada.

And yes, I suppose the things I love about being a Mum of kids well into double figures will be completely different than those of a baby mama, but hey, that’s what links us all together: we’re all bonded by the initial puke and insomnia, through to the ‘what?  No, of course you can’t have a tattoo’ stages of parenthood.  We’re all destined to travel the same path.  I love this about parenting.  Whatever stage you’re at and however different you are, there’s always going to be some point when you go ‘oh yeh, been there’.  Here goes then:

1. Boy hugs.  I’m not completely sure as I don’t have a girl, but I think boy hugs are probably slightly different from girl hugs.  Boy hugs tend to be a bit hard and fierce, a bit ‘half nelson’ rather than soft and snuggly, but still I’m sure they mean as much.  As one’s children get older, you tend to get your affection in different ways.  For instance, I’ll get my hair ruffled while I’m sat at the computer (‘alright Smelly?’) and a child reaches past me to turn his amp on, or I’ll get shown a text that I probably shouldn’t see or told a joke I probably shouldn’t hear.  These little things mean I still belong, and I’m still ‘in the gang’ even though I don’t need to wipe stuff or do up buttons anymore.
    
2. Mad conversations.  Who else can you have ‘if I was really fat’ conversations with, or chats about what would happen if everyone in the whole country suddenly woke up with Tourette’s (one of my favourites that -although you probably need to have seen ‘Deuce Bigalo, Male Gigolo’ in order to completely understand).  Teenage boys have an unceasing ability to go off on mad random tangents, and dinner time conversations are much richer for it.
    
3. Pride.  Sometimes it’s the little things that make my heart swell.  Take yesterday when I’d escaped up to my room to do something or other and suddenly heard the most beautiful version of ‘I believe in a thing called love’  twirling whimsically around every step before reaching its tendrils out to me at the top of the stairs.  They might wallop out a mean version of Slipknot’s Psychosocial’ but the odd amazing tune still emanates from those Gibsons or Fender Strats or whatever it is they’re driving.
    
4. Laughter.  #2 decided to spend some of the vast wads of cash he received from his incredibly generous grandparents (and us, obviously) on some swanky new trainers.  In the shop, he was trying them on and they seemed to fit, but the left toe of one shoe was a bit uncomfortable.  Removing his sock to examine the problem revealed a toe-nail of such epic proportions that Godzilla would have been mighty proud.  Reader, it was like a spade.  I only stopped laughing when I worried I’d maybe wee myself if I carried on.
    
5. Sofa twister.  Yes, we’ve got lots of places to sit, but when there’s something good on the TV only the sofa dead opposite the telly will do.  That means Hubby and I sharing with two lanky and slightly smelly young men, three cups of tea, one hot chocolate (no, go on, guess), a family pack of Cadbury’s funsize, a large bowl of popcorn, a bag of various flavoured lollipops and a desperate-not-to-be-left-out 90lb greyhound.  It hurts, but it certainly brings a family together.

There you have it.  Now it’s your turn.  What are your favourite (or not so favourite) bits of being a parent? 

And for the purposes of the ‘around the world in 80 clicks’ experiment, I thought I’d spread it around Ireland a bit by asking Susan in Cavan, Isitjustme in Galway, and Natalie who started in South Africa and ended up in Dublin, then for a baby Mama perspective I’ll tag my new discovery, Little Mummy in Edinburgh and for some international flavour, lovely Cam in Richmond.  Here’s the rules from the originator:  

Here’s how it’s going to work:… I’m going to link to a couple of other mom bloggers here in Canada, and to a couple of mom bloggers from other countries around the world, and they’ll write their posts, sharing 5 things that they love (or maybe what they don’t so much love – this playground doesn’t force conformity) about being a mom, and then they’ll tag a few more bloggers from their own country and from other countries, and so on. And you’re more than welcome to join: just write a post of your own (5 things that you love about being a mom) and find someone to link to and tag – someone from your own country, if you like, but definitely someone from another country (Google is a good resource if you don’t know any; google any country name and ‘mom’ in their blog search function) (be sure to let them know that you’ve tagged them!) – and link back here and leave a comment and we’ll add you to the ‘itinerary,’ ….

Speechless. That’s a first

Wow.  The long, loooong lists are out for the Irish Blog Awards 2009 and guess what: TWO nominations!  One for Best Food & Drink Blog and one for Best Personal Blog.  I’m dead chuffed.  I’d made up my mind not to pimp myself for nominations this year and didn’t mention it (I had to sit on my hands, and everything), so I’m doubly doubly pleased.  Thank you so much if you voted for me.  My gob is well and truly smacked.

Edit:

AND I’m in rather good company.  Some of my favouritest fellow bloggers are nominated too:

Lovely Medbh at Dante and the Lobster for Best Popculture Blog

Our own clever fellow Cavan-dweller Susan in about fifty seven different categories, including Best Blog from a Journalist, Best Arts and Culture, Best Newcomer and Best Personal Blog

Naughty ol’ Maxi has nominations for Best Newcomer, Best Humour Blog and Best Personal Blog

And don’t get me started on my fellow foodies giving me severe competition in the Best Food/Drink Blog category:

Ruth at Just Add Eggs, Cheeky Manuel at Well Done Fillet, Lar at fantastic wine blog, Sour Grapes , the very clever Lor at Italian Foodies, Spudness, Kieran at Ice Cream Ireland (who also got nominated in the Best Business Blog category along with Deb from Tast.ie), Wee Jen at Little Bird Eats and Deb at Tast.ie

The Beaut girls are up for Best Group Blog, Roy the Taxi is up for Best Specialist Blog along with dad-in-waiting Xbox, and Darragh, Darren, Glitter and Wee Tommy join Maxi and Susan in the Best Newcomer category. 

Oh and half my blogroll are nominated (all deservingly) for Best Personal Blog:

Lubly Paddy, Darragh again, Red Mum, Maxi again, the delicious K8 the Gr8, Con, Manuel again (and he got nominated in Best Humour Blog – darned greedy, I reckon), Darren again, Annie, Terence McDanger (also in Best Humour Blog), Tommy again, Grandad (the leg end legend – also, also in Best Humour Blog), Medbh again, Susan again, FMC, Radge… oh and, er… Me!

If you do one thing today…

So some of you guys would be compelled to read this load of old waffle because you’re friends or family (and you’re secretly obsessed with checking to make sure I don’t mention you in a bad light.  Heh), others are regular commenters and have become, well, cyber-friends, shall we say?  Others still are regular readers and never comment, and yet more happen here by chance via Google for recipes (or, worse, after searching for ‘Mum’s boobs’ or ‘greyhound tips’ [not here, pal!]).

We bloggers web diarists write for many reasons – to keep in touch with home, because we’re frustrated novelists or photo-journalists (or chefs!)…  Actually, I have no idea why I write this.  I just do.  It just is.  I love reading other people’s writing.  I got to the stage of having about 40 blogs in my feeder – there were food blogs and photo blogs and personal blogs, funny blogs, day-to-day diary blogs, whatever, I’ve cut down now before my eyes imploded, but the point is, they’re a little snippet of someone’s life: a sneaky peak into the diary kept under someone’s mattress, if you would.

Occasionally, one piece of writing so far outstrips any other that it twangs the heartstrings, draws out the emotions and makes you take a little breath.  So if you do nothing else today, pop over to K8 the GR8’s blog and read The Secret Fire (just click on the words).  It is by far and away the most stunning, emotive and beautiful piece of writing I’ve read for a long time.  K8 is the offspring of no other than The Hairy One, and blimey I bet he’s proud.  One of K8’s commenters said that ‘God gives special kids to special Mums’ and, although I’m not part of the God squad as you know, I’ll second that emotion.

Oh and while you’re at it, I think it deserves a nomination for Irish Blog Post of the Month.  Don’t you?

The Friday Photo: An award? Pour moi? Shucks

When you become a blogger, you join a diverse and very widely spread family.  I love it.  I suppose I’m a little odd in that I currently subscribe to the feeds of about forty different blogs, but hell, I love to read and have fresh reading material at my fingertips every day!  I’ve got friends all around the globe and people pop by English Towers all the time.  What’s not to love?  Anyhoo, this award is from Jay, who says:

“She encourages new bloggers, promotes the cause of ex-racing greyhound adoption (she is owned by the delightful Bertie) and writes in a pithy and often very funny way about a wide variety of subjects. She has also led me to some great blogs which I now read regularly”

But wait…there’s a catch: if you accept the award, you must:

1. Pick five blogs that you consider deserve the award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language.
2. Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.
3. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.
4. The award winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of the Arte y Pico blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.

So I’ve tried to go about this from a slightly different angle, in that I’ve gone for people who, in my humble opinion, write really well.  Here goes, then:

For Travel Writing

My first award goes to Hails over at Coffee Helps.  Originally from Northern Ireland, Hails is currently on a one-woman mission to circumnavigate the globe, and the stories of her travels are really informative and often laugh-out-loud funny.  She’s relentlessly optimistic and incredibly versatile (managing not to starve to death even after being pickpocketed of all her worldly cash in Lyon).  A great blog.

For Razor-Sharp Wit

Next up is lubly Baino over in Australia.  Baino describes herself as ‘old enough to know better, too young to care. I am a lazy left-wing, arm chair radical with far too much time on my hands’.  I love her intelligent social commentary, and, frankly, couldn’t live without the Friday Fuckwit.  Enough said.

For Being Inspirational and Aspirational

Tara at DC de facto is who I’d like to be if I wasn’t me.  She spends her days ’protecting one pound people’ in a special care baby unit, still finds time to give us a slice of DC life, and her photos just sparkle.  Fantastic.

For Foodie Excellence

Well, I couldn’t pick five blogs without including the best foodie.  Pop over to Jen over at Little Bird Eats for droolingly good recipes and great photography (I never could master taking photos of food).  Small of stature, but big of appetite, The Wee One is a real foodoholic.

For Soul-Baring Excellence

Annie, over at The Little Pinch of Salt, is a true web-diarist.  She really does open her heart and her writing is just beautiful.  She’s also a big clever clogs in the film world and her photography is abolutely stunning.  Read it and weep.  Really.

Thanks, Jay! xx

Have your say! How to leave a comment

So I’ve had a few people say to me ‘ooh, I wanted to leave a comment on something you said, but couldn’t work out how to do it’.  So here’s a step by step for all you ‘lurkers’.  Come on now, speak up!

1. At the end of each ‘post’ (or article) you’ll see the word comments underlined, followed by a number in brackets.  This is the number of people who have already left a comment.
2. If you hover your mouse over comments, you will see that it prompts you to comment (handy eh?).
3. Click on comments and you’ll see that all the comments will appear in a new box underneath the original post.
4. Scroll down to the bottom of the list and there you will see a little form entitled ‘leave a comment’.
5. So first, fill in your name (doesn’t have to be your real name – you can call yourself whatever you like, see if I care).
6. In the next box, fill in your email address (don’t worry, it won’t show up on the website).
7. And lastly, if you have a website address, you can fill it in the last box (mind you, if you’ve got your own website you should bloody well know how to comment by now).
8. Then, in the last box, feel free to let rip and leave a comment.  When you’re happy with what you’ve written, click on the pink ’submit comment’ box, and hey presto, you’ve commented.
9. Do bear in mind that if it’s the first time you’ve commented, your comment won’t appear on the website straight away as it will be sent to me via email for moderation (just to check you’re not a complete psycho – mind you, you’ll fit in quite well if you are).
10. And that’s it!  Now you can comment whenever you like.  Oh and remember – be nice, I’m sensitive.