Swearing: absof*ckinglutely unf*ckingacceptable
So I’m having a bit of dilemma. And it’s all about asterisks. I am aware, you see, that my nephews and nieces occasionally drop by, plus maybe others of a sensitive disposition and I’m also aware that the odd naughty word rears its ugly head here. Only yesterday, Moon called my darling brother a w*nker (see what I did there?). And I’m definitely prone to the odd F, as you know. But hang on, I’m 38 and it’s my blog – should I dispense with the stars and let the expletives run free?
I don’t know if you remember, but Baino and the gang were having a really interesting chat about swearing a while back. Turns out that a load of stiff upper lip British twats (oops!) objected to the ‘So where the bloody hell are ya?’ tag line to the current advertising campaign for Australia. I mean, come on, surely in this day and age nobody’s offended by ‘bloody’ are they? This led on to a conversation on Gordon Ramsey and his potty mouth – the gist being that most people were more offended with HOW the man swears (as in, he’s a terrible bully), rather than the fact that he does. I certainly second this. Yes he’s a great chef, and I’m particularly fond of The F Word, but to shout and swear aggressively into the face of another human being is offensive and unnecessary. Full stop. Whenever I see it, I secretly long for the shoutee to turn round and plant a big fat fist right in Gordy’s filthy mouth.
Now, when I was a nipper, I certainly couldn’t say ‘bloody’ at home without getting a cuff round the ear’ole, and uttering the unthinkable ‘bugger’ would have been more than my life was worth. Granted, I occasionally witnessed a ‘f*cking roll on!’ when the Disreputable One was really pissed off (oops again!) but I was well aware that swearing ‘in company’ was totally unacceptable.
Now, I’m afraid, I have a mouth as foul as an egg-bound Bantam. Honestly, I have no excuse, but I do think generally that swearing is much less of a big deal here in Ireland. Only yesterday a radio presenter I was listening to said that someone ‘gets on my tits’ and I was telling Baino about the GAA, where grown men use sport as an excuse to beat seven bells of crap out of each other, and if you go five minutes without hearing ‘pass the ball you useless f*cking c*nt’, then frankly, the game’s not up to much. Little ones toddle happily around as these expletives fill the air, and later, after the game, you can hear the kids emulating the GAA big boys as they cheerfully call each other ‘yoo fuggin gunt’. Ah, the innocence of youth, eh?
I’m a terrible, terrible hypocrite too. I personally aim for a ‘do as I say, not do as I do’ rule in the house, which is that when I drop the hoover down the stairs and stamp down after it muttering ‘f*cking useless, f*cking piece of f*cking shit…’, I expect my children to utilise this appalling display as a lesson on how not to talk. More hypocritical is that we operate a zero tolerance approach to bad language, which is simple: swear, and you die. I’ll overlook the odd ‘shite’ as it’s as much an Irish word as Guinness or hurling, but an F word uttered from the lips of a child is a terrible thing.
I wonder if it’s a generational issue. I personally couldn’t see the fuss about the whole Jonathan Ross/Russell Brand thing. I mean, what do people expect from the pair? Fairy tales and fart jokes? I appreciate that leaving a rude message on someone’s answerphone is rather ill advised, and probably warrants an apology, but the uproar afterwards was ridiculous. And where did the thousands of complainers come from, so long after the event? Via the Daily Mail, naturally.
So what’s the verdict? As a new generation should we turn a blind eye and just slip in the odd asterisk? Or is it a terrible sign of the degeneration of polite society?
I’m not offended by the words themselves, but I am sad to hear people reduced to only ONE adjective in life. Vocabularies seem to be shrinking, with f-words replacing every part of speech there is:
“This f’ing f’er’s f’ing f’ed, so f’ it.”
You know?
Like?
My thoughts? Personal choice. I try not to swear that much (and try not to on my blog either since I don’t know who’s going to read it – if anyone!) and have a huge aversion to certain words.
I agree with Susan though – people’s range of words seems to be diminishing due to the fact that they just insert a swear word wherever they like. Now *that* annoys me!
My Granny was made incoherent with shock if I said “Damn” , maybe its time we offered this as the new “curse”.
I am with you on this one, as they become adults, they will choose to use language that fits the situation … would I use the F word with Ma around, no, of course not, stub my toe when she is around, of course I would say Fuck It !!!… so it’s all about the situation, and is the swear word needed. It is a vent of anger, frustration etc…. Having played sport all my life, it is a huge part of the game, the frustrations that you encounter. I miss a 3 ft putt, I am going to swear.
In compnay, no, very rare, at home, yes !… I agree on the Ross / Brand thing .. I heard it ‘live’… and the radio station knew what they were broadcasting, as it was pre -recorded.
Nowt wrong with the occaisional bollocks !
These things are definitely cultural. I’ll never forget the look of shock on EMs face when I said ‘feck’. ‘Course, she was a Newbie then; now she speaks fluent Hiberno-english!
Also, bollocks are not profane. They’re the bits the bullock left behind…
Moon? Missing a 3ft putt? You fecking big Jessie!
Gnarf-gnarf!
And just for the record, it wasn’t the fact that Brand and Ross swore that upset me (thought that may be true for others) it was the fact that they did so on a private answerphone, and then joked about Sachs being so upset he might kill himself. Anyway. Enough of that.
As to swearing .. yes, it’s interesting. ‘Bollocks’ on Star Trek and ‘bugger’ in Pirates of the Caribbean – a Disney movie, for goodness’ sake! Now that made me laugh. I’m convinced that a lot of Americans dont’ actually think about what it means … or do they even know, I wonder?
Time and place is the key, and choose your company. My boys are grown up and left home so I feel free to swear both in their company and on my blog. They often chastise me though, which I find very amusing.
Thrifty: NO way! Did he really? Yes I agree, we all say it too much – it’s very habit forming too.
Nutty: Absolutely. That’s why I like Jen’s curses, they’re always so colourful: ‘Jaysus, Mary, Mother of Joseph and all the angels’ and all that stuff! x
Martin: Great idea! A new/resurrected swear word is exactly what we need! I’m leaning towards ‘arsebiscuits’ at the moment.
Moon: Too right – a time and a place, and all that. I have to say that I do swear in front of my parents now, but only if I’m really cross, not in every day conversation!
Jay: It’s kinda fun being old off though – keeps one young, I find! x
Baino: I did that with #1 once when he was little. He said ‘shit!’ when a door slammed so I threatened him with the soap and water if he did it again and – bingo!, I had to make good on my promise! I’m with you on the c word. I find it totally and utterly offensive, and I’m a right old swearer! x
Trouble is, for this to work, everybody would have to react that way but they don’t. Probably because cussing IS cool. Fucked if I know why.
There once was a mum with a blog,
With recipes of cake and of log,
I tried one, one day,
And I’ve no problem to say
It had me all day on the bog.
Maxi: You’re such a child
It’s great, much nicer than the F-word spelt with a ‘u’
Incidently the four letter c*** word in this country has an equivalent in Spain which over the years has become a term of endearment used by Grandmothers to their Grandchildren and close friends – it just lost its shock value I suppose!
But never in front of the kids (sensitive little ears are remarkably good at picking these things up from miles away) and it’s always to emphasise something rather than bawl someone out. Ah, the social mores and niceities of it all.
There!
Paulo: Welcome! Ugh – have done much the same myself. Sometimes an ill-timed ‘WHAT? I’m busy!’ can crush a small one. We’ve all done it.
Nats: Glad I’m not alone in being a total hypocrite! x
Kate: Good grief, really? Like:
‘Hello Grandma!’
‘Hello my darling, how are you, ye little c**t?’ Can’t imagine that at all!
Wee One: I know exactly what you mean about the accent. I’m normally quite posh, but when I swear I go all cockney and ‘fackin’ ell!’ I agree – I’d never swear AT someone either.
Jen: Ooh. Sweeeeeet. I like. Incidentally, I drove past Molly Malone today – still as buxom as ever I see. xx
I don’t know if it’s a good thing for my kids to hear bad language or not, I’m starting to think that if they’re not shocked by it like I was, then they will ignore it. Their love of all things ‘Father Ted’ lets them sneak in the odd ‘feck’, but they’re more likely to shout ‘Nuns!!!’
But I am a hypocrite as well, if they swear they also die a thousand deaths, well, they have less pocket money at the end of the week.
And there’s no denying, cranky kids will bring it out – even if you’re trying to keep it country in front of the wee’uns.
Just be glad you don’t live in the U.S. is all I can say. Seriously, we have to tell our kids not to repeat what they hear at home outside. And give them lectures on the plane back from Ireland about how language is different in different places.
All a bit stressful.
They seem to be learning how to navigate it pretty well though.
Love the blog.
Queenie: Glad to know I’m not the only ‘do as I say, not as I do’ Mother round here! Although I’m informed by my oldest that it’s ‘reeeeally embarrassing’ when I say ‘f*ck a duck’, even when nobody else is around!
Wandermom: Welcome! And thanks for the compliment. Yep, mine are the same – they caused some raised eyebrows at my cousin Moon’s wedding by telling people that ‘it’s ok to say feck – honest!’.