Spam, spam, spam, spam…

No, I don’t want to watch a Pamela Anderson video.  Nor do I want to watch one with Eva Mendes in it.  Or Paris Hilton, for that matter.  Or Lindsay Lohan.  Oh, and nor do I want to watch cross dressers, men in petticoats (yes, really) or ‘amateur girls’ (and I don’t even want to think about how they differ from ‘professional’ ones).

And no, I don’t want to ‘watch animals mating’.  Nope, I’m not interested in the sex lives of monkeys, dogs, horses, snakes, rabbits or bloody chipmunks for that matter.  And I don’t want to enlarge my p*nis (don’t want Google hits on that little beauty) or ‘get big sexy boobs’.  And no, I don’t want to see pictures of big boobs/bouncy boobs/celebrity boobs/tiny boobs or any other kind of boobs.  No, really.  I don’t.  I’ve got some myself and I can always look down my top if I need a boob moment.

And no, I don’t need insurance, or a house in Florida, or to help some deposed African leader’s widow get her money safely out of the country.  And I don’t need any Viagra.  Or Xanax.  I don’t even know what it is, but I don’t want it.  Honest.

And these are just the ones I could reproduce on a family blog.  God alone knows what hits I’ll get on Google now.  But seriously, what do spammers think they’re going to gain from sending me thousands of these things?  My spam filter has caught 7300 of the bastards so far and no, honestly, I’ve really never been tempted to click on a link to see a ‘Nicole Richie upskirt’.  Really.  I’ve never thought ‘ooh, I’ll log on to my blog today and see if someone’s spammed it with hundreds of invitations to watch videos of people I don’t know doing things that probably aren’t legal.  Yippee!’.  I haven’t.  Ever.

Sigh.

10 Responses to “Spam, spam, spam, spam…”

1. Tara says:

   June 12, 2008 at 11:08 pm

   EM, who diesn’t need a house in Florida? Bet it’s a steal, too… x
2. Tara says:

   June 12, 2008 at 11:08 pm

   doesn’t. obviously.
3. june in florida says:

   June 12, 2008 at 11:46 pm

   If you do want a house in Florida now is the time.$275,000 houses now going for $150,000 and less.Just think if you buy a house inland it’ll be beachfront in a few years.
4. englishmuminireland says:

   June 13, 2008 at 6:26 am

   Tara: Heh. Don’t you start!

   June: Hee hee! Actually, I’ve never been to the States. Going to come and annoy Moon in the not too distant future though x
5. Thriftcriminal says:

   June 13, 2008 at 7:46 am

   Hmm, you seem to get more than I do. I just checked my gmail and only had 2, and they’ve switched from “I am russian hot chick who love to hump, we meet yes?” to “I am in a dubious company and want to include you in a dubious but totally risk free moneymaking scheme”. I guess spring really is over.
6. Coastal Aussie says:

   June 13, 2008 at 11:32 am

   Spam, it gets to me too at times, though your spam is a thousand times more exotic then mine – so far its only for insurance. Hope you do something fun today, and something that makes you feel spoilt, to distract from these awful nasties. xx
7. Moon says:

   June 13, 2008 at 3:15 pm

   I’ll hold you to EM, with the new pad, you had better come, I’ll let Arnie know, we can do lunch !

   and I might add, the Nicole Richie upskirt is worth a look …… Nice Beaver !
8. englishmuminireland says:

   June 13, 2008 at 4:58 pm

   Thrifty: A dubious but totally risk-free money-making scheme? I’m in! x

   Aussie: I never got it with Blogger, but now I’m a dot com dahlink I seem to attract all the nutters! Hmmm.. well, I went shopping – does that count? x

   Moon: Tsk.
9. SUSAN B says:

   June 14, 2008 at 12:43 am

   It’s EVERYWHERE! When the hounds are walking and leaving their peemail they sometimes sniff something “undesirable” and swiftly move away from it – must be speem!
10. englishmuminireland says:

    June 14, 2008 at 11:36 am

    Susan: Speem!!! LOL!!!