*Sigh*
So I have the most evil, crashing hangover; the kind that clangs you over the head with a frying pan every time you try to move. I know, I know, I don’t expect sympathy. It’s this bloody place. You move here and suddenly the most innocuous gatherings turn into an excuse for a piss up. We ended up staggering out of lovely J&A’s house at 1am, through absolutely no fault of our own. The Lovelies (self explanatory nickname, here) are Mr and Mrs Sociable – when you go round there, A is always looking after a gazillion kids (she has her own 3, plus Little C and Lou a lot of the time, then there’s all sorts of other kids popping in and out) – and you can’t visit without being plied with tea or alcohol and made to laugh until you cry. Their house is Hubby’s spiritual home. I think he’d actually move in if he could. The kids were already crashed out there and came stumbling back home this morning looking absolutely shattered. Picture the scene:
#1 is lolling around the kitchen, opening random cupboard doors and then either leaving them open or banging them shut, whilst sighing dramatically a lot. His hair resembles a bird’s nest, his glasses are so dirty I’m surprised he can see through them, he’s wearing 3/4 combats and a huge black Linkin Park t-shirt.
#1: *sigh* I’m STARVING
Me: Do you want a sandwich?
#1: (from inside fridge): Nah. Sandwiches are boring. *Sigh*. I think I’ll have soup.
Me: Okay, well there’s loads in the cupboard.
#1 (rummaging in cupboard dropping stuff all over the floor – Bert runs for cover as tins roll in all directions): Oh why have we got all this crappy lentil stuff? You know I like mushroom…why haven’t we got any mushroom soup? *sigh*
Me: Passing irritating child a tin of mushroom soup ‘What, you mean THIS mushroom soup?’
#1: Oh. Well it was at the back. *Sigh*. Why do you always put the stuff I like at the back?
Irritating child now proceeds to pop the toaster up every two seconds to check whether his toast is done.
#1: This toaster is CRAP! It’s hardly done at all!
Me: No, it’s perfectly okay, just leave the bloody bread in there until it pops up.
#1: *sigh* There’s no milk. Why is there never any milk
Me: Something to do with the fact that you’ve drunk three pints already this morning?
#1: Well it’s ridiculous, I mean fancy not having enough milk in the fridge *sigh*
Me: I humbly apologise, I am a crap mother. Next time I will buy much more milk. Ok?
#1: Oh this crappy toaster! My toast is burnt now!
Me: That’s because you put it back on when the toast was half done – it’s on a timer.
#1(scraping black bits off toast and on to every surface in the kitchen and into the butter dish that he’s left open: well it’s crap. Stupid toaster.
Me: Clearing up growing carnage in kitchen left in the wake of irritating child: Jesus, sit down and eat before I beat you to death with a rolling pin.
#1: *sigh* you’re just grumpy ‘cos you’re hungover.
Arrrggghhhhhhhhh!
How many more weeks of School Holidays are left
I think I will stick to my greyhounds thankyou!
Well done for not strangling him!
Nutty: Yes, okay I’m slightly grumpy, but that’s because I’ve been clearing up mess and listening to him moan all morning instead of curling up with a nice cup of tea and a bag of maltesers!!!
Thrifty: oooh sausage and mash!!! Yes, sadly you’re absolutely right. And my own personal mad professor is the worst conspiracy theorist of them all. He’s gone off to console himself with his X-box now (slamming the door, naturally) x
Anyway, was going to go something like this:
Perhaps #1 takes.after.his.mother…?
Nah, couldn’t be. x
I seem to remember my brother hoovering up all the food, all the time and being terribly affronted that there wasn’t more/that mum somehow hadn’t realised that he would require a whole loaf of bread to himself. No idea where he was putting it all.
So – there are some advantages to being forced to be teetotal then?
Tara: What, you mean this is the ultimate in sweet revenge?! Oh lord. x
Baino: Hmmm, a day in bed sounds good. I wouldn’t mind but he’s like a flippin’ string bean – hollow legs as my Ma would say!
Thrifty: Kevin the Teenager! I played it for him and he laughed like a drain ‘that’s not me!’. Just give yourself time, pal, you’re nearly there x
Jay: Yes indeed: clear thinking, a pristine liver, no headaches… not falling into ditches on your way home…might have to join you!
Aussie: Aw they’re just lovely – it’s that kind of house that draws you in x
Methinks it might be time for a hangover of my own…oh yes, i don’t get them!!! Apparently I just don’t drink enough…so perhaps I should start. I may have used the rolling pin without the excuse of the hangover…my poor kids.
Nats: Us bloggers eh? I spend half my life either thinking ‘I must remember that so I can write about it’ or ‘damn, I WISH I could write about that’!!
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[...] I actually laid awake thinking about it (and that was after a 1am Cabernet Sauvignon bender with The Lovelies, complete with sleepover so I spent half the night listening to #2 and Little Lovely #1 giggling [...]