Pray silence for the Bertmeister
Okay, so it’s guest speaker day today, as Bertie has been tagged twice – once by Grandad’s lubly doggie Sandy and once by Hails’ cat, er, Kat. Yes, I know this is bonkers, but what can I do? I’m the taggee. So the general gist is thus: share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. Well, Bert being the quirkmonster extraordinaire, this should be a breeze. I’ll hand you over to the Bertmeister:
I like lambs. I’d like a lamb of my own. I only want to lick it, but for some reason nobody will let me have one. Instead, I console myself by rushing from one window to the other, watching the lambs springing about and drooling on the windowsill. People are cruel.
There’s a common misconception that greyhounds rush around all day and do important greyhound stuff like running and chasing things. Actually, we like to sleep, occasionally breaking off our sleep to eat, poo or have a cuddle. If we really must go for a walk we’ll get really excited, rush along for the first 100 yards, decide we’ve had enough and sulk for the rest of the walk so we have to be pulled along. If it’s raining we just sit down and wish we were somewhere else.
Greyhounds like stuff. And lambs, did I mention lambs? Oh, okay. We like to create a little nest and surround ourself with all our stuff . When I have a little me-time I like to womble around taking shoes and teddies and dishcloths and J-the-sometimes-lodger’s empty cigarette packets and knickers and dusters and, well, just stuff, into my bed. It makes me feel safe. When my family comes home they think it’s really good fun to take all my nesting stuff and hide it away so it’s more fun for me to find next time. Sometimes they hide things especially to keep me occupied while they’re out – like the time they hid chocolates high up on this big sparkly tree in the lounge. That took a bit of figuring out.
I’m a bit bony so I need something very comfy to sleep on. I’ve found that children are generally quite warm and comfy. If there are no children to sleep on, an adult will do, or failing that a sofa. Sometimes they spread themselves out on the sofas so there’s no room but I either just hop on and bend myself into the available space (see photo) or I have to go and sit on this squashy thing on the floor which is so not cool.
Some might say that greyhounds are the supermodels of the canine world. We’re sleek, tall, beautiful and we like salad and carrots and stuff. Not that I’m a snob or anything but you don’t often see a labrador begging for carrot peelings, now, do you? Mind you, I’m fond of a bourbon or ten too. I hate to show off, but it’s my metabolism you see, I can eat anything and not get fat. Jealous?
Finally, a little secret. I’ve got this beautiful blue girlfriend. She hangs around outside when the humans are in bed and blows kisses at me through the window. One day I’m going to ask her to marry me and we’ll have blue fawn puppies and live happily ever after…pardon? What do you mean I’ve got no…. aaarrrggghhhh! Where did they go?!
Ladies and gents I give you Bert. Round of applause, please. Oh, and can I just add…blimey, I added a picture! It’s my first one – isn’t it cute? Look at its little toes…
OOps, nearly forgot: I’m supposed to tag someone else. Okay, so, this is for Isit‘s gorgeous and slightly evil Kitty and Don’t Bug Me‘s beautiful fluffers, Willow and Tess. Six non-important things/habits/quirks please kittycats. Bertie sends licks. Big, bitey ones heh.
I can totally sympathise with you – I too have had my crown jewels taken from me
(although it doesn’t stop me trying to make Rott-hounds or Grey-weilers with my friend Chula the Rottweiler!)
However I have to agree humans and their beds and sofa’s are so much more comfortable. I like to get on there before them so I get to have the comfy spot and leave them my cushion on the floor!
Love Taffy xx
Howdy there fellow skinny one. When’s the new bird arriving then? (or is it a fella?) xx
My new play-pal should be coming home in a couple of weeks when mum is able to take time off work!
We are going to the kennels to take him for a walk on Sunday (hopefully mum will bring lots of tasty treats for the both of us and maybe take a pic or two if she remembers her camera!) xx