It’s pretty hectic here at English Towers at the moment. First of all there was the small matter of a slightly broken car (‘Mum, it wasn’t my fault – she stopped REALLY suddenly!’). I thought we’d be cross but honestly? When it came to it we were just relieved he was okay.
While I was in Miami (loads to tell you about this!), Mr English was at home to make sure everyone was organised and in the right place at the right time – quite important as both boys are doing exams at the moment. Mr English runs a clockwork house, and while I spend fifteen minutes every morning trying to coax corpse-like bodies out of bed, when he’s running the ship, they’re all up and at ’em before he’s even hopped out of bed. And no, I’ve no idea how he does it.
It was when I returned from Miami and Mr English went back to work that things started to go downhill. First, there was the unfortunate incident of the missed day at school (I can only blame jetlag – luckily it was just a pre-exam study day), then came the realisation that I’d booked a holiday on the same day that Sam was doing a biology exam (it’s okay, we’ve got at least two hours to get to the airport).
Then, this morning, with a maths GCSE at 9am, we discovered that Charlie had all of a sudden ‘mislaid’ his entire school uniform: blazer, tie, shoes, the whole shooting match. We cobbled together an odd outfit by ringing round friends, and, as we headed for school, he suddenly realised that he hadn’t finalised his A level choices. By the way, have you SEEN the things they can do for A levels now? Thinking Skills (nope, no idea either), General Studies (seems a bit vague), Food Studies (I would have been good at that), Advanced Colouring-in (okay, I might have made that one up), Lego Studies (and that one)…
Me (pulling up at school): ‘Wait, what? Isn’t it your last day of school today?’
Him (slamming the car door behind him): ‘yup, but don’t worry, I’ll have a think about it while I’m doing my exam’.
Me (yelling at his retreating figure): ‘NO DON’T DO THAT! JUST BLOODY CONCENTRATE AND THINK ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS…
…AND TRY NOT TO DRAW ATTENTION TO YOUR TRAINERS FOR GOD’S SAKE!!’
But it was too late. He was gone.
And that, my friends, is how you get two children through secondary school. Watch and learn, people, watch and learn.