Kreativ blogger award: Seven things you didn’t know about me
How thoughtful. I just got this lovely award from both the lovely Rosie ‘I shook hands with Eric Clapton’ Scribble and Linda ‘I want to sit on Shane Richie’ Jones from You’ve Got Your Hands Full. In return I have to share seven lesser-known facts about myself for your delectation.
Obviously, because I’ve been blogging since the dawn of creation, and have a terribly bad habit of ‘oversharing’ my most toe-curlingly personal information, there’s probably very little you don’t know about me already. But I’ll try to come up with something original. Here goes:
- I am, very occasionally, prone to bouts of hysteria. These are generally prompted by my getting really cross (a very rare occurrence in itself) or a dangerous cocktail of hormones and a sudden realisation of The Unfairness Of It All. My hysterics are, by and large, kitchen-based. My men-folk, who are well used to my little outbursts by now, sit patiently, flicking ‘here she goes again’ glances at each other while I rant and rave and slam things about, and afterwards dish out tea/wine and sympathetic hugs. The only person outside my family ever to witness one of my meltdowns is my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Jen, but it’s okay because I’m sure she never does impressions of me mid-rant *cough*.
- I was once sacked from my job as a letting agent for crashing my company car into a brick wall when I was supposed to be off sick in bed with the flu. As penance, I had to lie prone on my stomach for what seemed like hours as my poor, doting Hubby picked small shards of glass out of the backs of my legs with a pair of tweezers (I’d been wearing shorts and the windscreen had shattered). Disclaimer: if you’re the owner of that wall, none of this is true.
- As a borderline social-phobic, I definitely have the potential to be one of life’s mad cat ladies. Had I not married and brought forth De Brevren, I could well have ended up drinking myself into a stupor in a stinky council house in Hemel Hempstead with a sticky kitchen floor, one armchair and a ‘family’ of seventeen moth-eaten moggies.
- I read really, really fast. I’m not sure if it’s skim-reading or what, but I can easily do a novel in one bathtime and an early night. My family are aware of this and keep me constantly in paperbacks, lest I run out of reading material and descend into hysteria (see point 1.) After about three weeks, however, I have little or no recall of the plot which is quite handy as it means I can occasionally recycle my reading material.
- I have an enormous, unsightly and somewhat slug-like scar on my arm, the result of three or four really painful bouts of plastic surgery. All this pain and torment was self-inflicted to remove an ill-advised teenage tattoo that, with hindsight, probably wasn’t that bad in the first place. This was in the 1990s, prior to the discovery of today’s easy peasy ‘whip it off by laser’ techniques. My mother has so far resisted the urge to utter ‘I told you so’. It must be killing her.
- When I was at school in the fashion black hole that was the 1980s, I used to bleach my fringe white. My Disreputable Dad used to refer to it as ‘that blob of custard on your head’.
- I swear. A lot. And although this disgustingly bad habit is probably one of my less attractive traits, it’s a win/win situation for the kids as they probably get away with it more than most early-teens. Well, I can hardly tell them off, can I? ’Stop f*cking swearing all the f*cking time you little sh*t’ kind of defeats the object. My one rule is that they never, ever swear in company or in general conversation. But the occasional ‘oh bollocks’ if they drop something on their foot tends to go overlooked. Call me bohemian if you will.
And that’s it. As I clutter up my fellow bloggers’ websites enough already, I shan’t be passing this tag/meme/challenge thing on, but should you wish to divulge something fascinating and/or shocking in the comments, it would be ridiculously entertaining. Over to you, then.
Overall you sounds majorly loveable!!!
White fringe? That has made my day.
I could put us together in the twin room and sing ‘yellow bird’ to you all night until you’re delirious…
Yelllllllowwww birrrrd…’
Do you want me to go on?
Sickies!
Tattoos!( poor you having to have plastic surgery)
Swearing!
I do that with books too, not good when someone asks you, very annoying when you read a book and then halfway through it remember that you’ve already read it! ;0)
i’m the same as you with reading. drives people mad, they lend me books and i soon give them back. isn’t it annoying when you read an article or somesuch with someone, they seem to take forever to get the end don’t they.
xx
I too had weird colours in my hair, have cut own fringe and am fast generally not just at reading.