In which we learn all about secondary fluffage
Sunday night, then. We’re all sitting around watching Ross Kemp: Return to Afghanistan. Well, me and the kids are, Mad Uncle Ali and Hubby are having a little snooze after their heavy afternoon in the pundertakers. Suddenly the air becomes… erm… somewhat tainted.
#1: ‘Eewwwwwww. Who fluffed?’
Mad Uncle Ali: ‘Jesus, was that Bert? That one’s got bones in.’
Bert looks up, succeeds in looking both offended and mildly bored, and lies back down again.
#2: ‘Dad! You fluffed! That’s gross!’
Hubby (yawning): ’I didn’t fluff. Although I DID fluff a little while ago and it’s probably only just reached you.’
#1: ‘So you fluffed then, Dad. Take the shame.’
Hubby (adopting David Attenborough-type voice): ‘Technically, I think you’ll find that what actually occurred was a case of secondary fluffage. ’
#1 and #2 (snorting): ‘Secondary fluffage?!’
Hubby: ‘Let me explain’ (tents fingers scientifically): ‘you see, I’m over here in the colder part of the room, seeing as you lot are hogging the fire. The fire heats up air close to it, the warm air rises and travels across the ceiling, cools down, becomes more dense (cold air is denser than warm air), the air then sinks over here near me and begins to get drawn back towards the fire. Unfortunately, this air picks up any stray fluffage and propels it to those sitting nearest the fire, ie: you. Capische?’
#1 and #2: ‘Ohhhhhhhh right.’
Ali: *blinks*
Me: ‘You get used to it. Be grateful you’re not here for too long or you’ll be talking like that too’.
Ali: *blinks again*. ‘Secondary fluffage. Nice.’
Only Hubbs could get away with a theory like that!
Jen: I omitted to mention that the term ‘fluff’ originated from you…
1)uncle A’s got super long legs.
2)a nap next to your sweet baby deer looks darn good right about now.
Manuel: You’re welcome to come for a weekend… or did you mean sleeping next to Bert on the sofa?! Congrats on getting to the finals, BTW xx
Tara: 1) He does. He’s 6 foot something and most of that is legs. 2) Again, you’re welcome. He’s very warm to sleep next to, although he has the same problems as Alg regarding keeping all his legs on the sofa!!
Shiv: Dread the thought! But yes, very probably
i think our nearest sainsburys are in craigavon and lisburn in co. armagh and also newry. toooo far for moi to go often, sigh . . maybe not so bad for you though?? and i was so very excited
x
Now the little ones can join in the fun too. Drop by and check it out at asos.com
Love from
ASOS
Xxx
Little ASOS my ASSOS! >:(
Berluddy Hell Tara, you’re right! Legs till Tuesday! An Aliachnid, if you will. LOL!
Oh and LOL. We’re all blessed with long legs – I take a 34″ leg meself!!
MTW: I told him you said that. He’s well pissed with you
As an aside…Sorry to see that you didn’t make the finalists for the blog awards…next year x
I KNOW that look! ROFL!!!
Hubby could be right, you know!
I was a little worried about the nomination process though because to make the long-list, you only need one person to have nominated you and I nominated you for food and for photography (the Bert pics alone should have netted you a trophy!).
You’re a winner to all of us folk who read your blog every day anyway!
x
Jay: Of course he’s right! And yes, you know that ‘stop disturbing my sleep’ stare that only greyhounds do properly!!
Isit: Aw, thanks chicken, that’s really kind. Back atcha xx
[...] my first family Christmas. February was perfect for chocolate fondants and learning all about secondary fluffage. March was all pink birthday meringue and bourbon [...]