Half term hell, flicky hair, skating and crashing
So that’s it, then. Half term is officially over. The thing with teenagers is that you seem to miss most of half term as they’re asleep. By 11.30 I take to banging and crashing around, and if they’re still not up by noon, the hoover comes out (they know this is a ploy, I never hoover usually).
Then there’s the work. The Prof’s A levels are worrying me. Seriously, if I knew A levels were this easy (oh, and IF I’d been clever enough, which I wasn’t), I might have done them myself. His working day seems to go something like this:
7.15am Get asked nicely to get out of bed
720am Get reminded to get out of bed
7.30am Get yelled at to get out of bed and slope miserably off to the shower
7.35 – 8.00am Have the world’s longest shower complete with a cocktail of different lotions and potions
8.05am Wander around in towel flicking hair around artfully (‘What? I’m getting it to dry sideways’) deciding what to wear
8.15am Make it down the stairs looking like an extra from Mad Men (except for the artfully flicky hair) and inhale vast bowls of cereal
8.25am Decide to get books ready while I hop around shouting about how late we are
8.30am Drive to school with headphones plugged in looking out the window
8.40am Get out of car, quick hug, slam door
11.00am Text parent to say lessons are finished and can I be picked up
11.20am Plug into Xbox, put on enormous comedy headphones, then talk to mates and play shouty games, stopping occasionally to raid the kitchen for enormous plates of food and huge pints of milk.
And on half term week, you can cut out everything except for the latter.
I mean, WHERE does the studying fit in? I made the fatal mistake of asking last night and was told that he’d done LOADS of maths and biology, I just missed it.
Meanwhile the Death Wish Child has been out trying to kill himself at various skate parks, and a friend of his has made a pretty awesome video of him skating. I was only allowed to see one outtake (this was of him attempting a front flip and landing it on his knees – ouch). I decided this was A Good Thing and am focusing on the fact that he hasn’t hurt himself too horribly so far. The video is by the very talented Myles Mather.
I was hoping my non-studying Year 11 son would increase his productivity by the time he does A levels. It would seem I’m deluded.
And what is it with hours in the bathroom and this awful flicky hair thing?