Driving me crazy
Here’s a horrific fact for you. Did you know that in a week of total carnage here in Ireland no less than seven, yes, SEVEN, young men lost their lives on our roads. It’s bloody horrific and it shocked even me into silence when I heard that yet another young lad had been killed in Cork to make up the seventh death. Now, UK readers prepare to be astonished – in Ireland, a provisional licence holder can drive unaccompanied and without passing their test. I know, madness! There are obviously conditions attached, which I’m not absolutely sure of, but it seems that after you’ve held a provisional licence for either one or two years (not sure of the legislation there), you can apply for a second provisional licence and drive unaccompanied! I pass very close to many a young lad overtaking with one hand on the wheel, mobile glued to the other, and big red L plates on the car. It’s scary. The fact is that the roads are not always fantastic here which makes driving a challenge at the best of times, let alone when you’re young, inexperienced and out to impress your mates or your girlfriend.
One of our cut-through routes back from the unfeasibly long school run is very windy and difficult, with massive pot holes forcing you into the middle of the road. We often encounter young lads taking the bends too fast and coming round the corners on our side of the road. You can read the panic on their faces as they try to regain control. This prompts a ‘you f*cking dickhead!’ from ever-understanding Hubby, still the most bad tempered and impatient driver in the world. Other classic outbursts include: ‘get out the way you f*cking BIMBO!!!!’ and similar but basically along those lines with different variations such as ‘you stupid mare!’ or ‘you f*cking brain donor!’. Sometimes it will be older people who annoy him, in which case the usual script will be altered to include ‘you f*cking old fart!!!!’. My personal favourite is ‘F*CKING WOMEN F*CKING DRIVERS!!!’ after which he tenderly pats my leg and says ‘no offence, babe’. Well, none taken, I’m sure.
