So there we were. Fresh from the V-lounge at Gatwick where we drank complementary Innocent smoothies and nibbled free pastries. Child-free for an entire week. Sipping champagne. Nestled in our comfy seats with the pull-out footrest and the flip-out video screen. Our seats on the top deck of the Virgin Atlantic plane. In premium economy (oh yes, dahling, Disney upgraded us). Well, dear reader, we completely lost the plot. There was giggling. And quite a lot of ‘oh my God’, some snorty laughter, but mostly giggling.
So you know the story – bunch of ordinary extraordinary Mummy bloggers get invited on trip-of-a-lifetime to Walt Disney World where they stay in Deluxe Disney Resorts, visit all the others, get VIP tours round all the parks, sample all the best Disney restaurants and hobnob with the likes of Mickey and Daisy…
It happened. It really did. But it was actually better than that. My fellow bloggers were kind, sweet, ridiculously funny and raving alcoholics to boot. We had the time of our lives. I will bore you to death with this in more intricate nauseatingly mind-numbing detail, but I’ll leave you, for now, with my Disney top-ten moments:
- Finding out that just because you go to Disney you don’t have to eat burgers and fries. I didn’t eat a burger the whole time. I ate meltingly tender steaks… the sweetest scallops… the crispest, spiciest calamari… the freshest red snapper… the most sumptuous desserts… oh I could go on. Well, I actually will go on. Just give me time.
- Rediscovering the ability to actually be a bit of a kid again: I danced. I ate until I felt sick. I screamed on roller coasters. I ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhhed’ at lions and giraffes. I nearly wet my pants laughing when Laura fell over in the bus (‘blogger down!’). I got completely involved in American Idol and screeched like a lunatic when my favourite won. I got kissed by Chip ‘n’ Dale. I swam in azure waters. I laughed until I cried (in fact, I snorted uncontrollably, but that was because Linda was present).
- My first glimpse of the Grand Floridian Hotel. There are no superlatives. They have speedboats on the lake for the guests. No, really.
- Bursting into spontaneous tears watching the ‘Wishes’ firework display at The Magic Kingdom. And I wasn’t the only one.
- Rushing up to a couple of newlyweds wearing ‘Groom’ and ‘Bride’ Mickey ears and asking to take their photos (I have no shame). Evidence to follow.
- Visiting the Bibbidy Bobbidy Boutique where little girls can get a full Disney princess makeover (and later stumbling upon miniature princesses resplendent in full princess regalia tootling around the parks with their parents).
- Sitting in total wonderment as a roomful of little kids sit in front of an aquarium and have a real conversation with Crush from ‘Finding Nemo’ – he answers their questions and everything!!! Awesome, Dude.
- Resisting the urge to dive fully clothed into the enormous Melt-Away Bay – one whole acre of turquoise loveliness, complete with a rockin’ wave machine.
- Taking part in some really extreme hotel testing: this involved cutting myself shaving (it was a bit of a gusher) and not knowing what to do with my bloody towels (blood’s just not really that Disney is it?) and leaving them piled in the bath like some sort of serial killer; Laura exploding a bottle of coke, sending sticky fountains of spray over our fellow Beach Club guests; Alice causing the coffee machine to sponaneously combust and coating her entire room in a fine layer of coffee and Linda nearly killing an entire family of chino-clad American guests with her toppling suitcase (they went over like dominos which was, of course, not in the remotest bit amusing).
- Finding ourselves so totally and utterly dependent on the wondrous Sarah (or Mary Poppins as she became known) to the extent that whenever we found ourselves without her we were unable to function. Once, she stopped in the middle of the road to take a call and we all immediately ground to a halt next to her – risking life and limb like a band of happy lemmings. What will we do now we no longer have Sarah to shuffle along behind in a tight arrowhead formation?
Ah, happy memories. And much more to come. No, come back, I’ve only just started…