Still in pursuit of the perfect chocolate brownie, then, I made these while my children were out making giant… erm.. appendages out of snow.  I would show you a video but they’re all disgusting and their grandparents might see.  I don’t know where they get it from.

These brownies are utterly lush and slightly more ‘grown up’ than the version I usually make (George’s chocolate brownies) but the recipe is mostly the same.  I think they benefit from being served warm as the ‘oranginess’ comes out more.

You will need:

200g dark chocolate (as dark as you dare – see below)

170g salted butter (MUST be salted – or add a pinch if using unsalted)

3 tablespoons marmalade (I used rindless for a smooth result)

3 eggs

200g soft brown sugar (caster is fine if you don’t have any)

110g plain flour

Preheat the oven to gas 4/180 degrees.

Melt the butter, chocolate and marmalade in a bain-marie (you know the drill… bowl over a saucepan of just-simmering water – don’t let the bottom of the bowl come into contact with water).  Don’t use the microwave – I’ve no idea why but melting chocolate in the microwave REALLY offends me.  Turn the water off when it’s just bubbling and stir the mixture gently until it’s combined.  Take it off the heat and allow to cool to room temperature.

Whisk the eggs and sugar together until light and frothy, then pour in the cooled chocolate/butter mixture, stir well, then add in the flour.  Stir briefly until the flour disappears.

Pour into a well-lined baking tin (I use a lasagne tin, but a square cake tin will do).  Bake for about 30 minutes or until the top is cracked and shiny.  The centre should still be slightly soft.  Serve warm or allow to cool and place in an airtight container

For the orangettes, choose a really dark chocolate – try Green & Black’s or Montezuma’s do a brilliant, rich Ecuador 70% dark chocolate that I’m just slightly addicted to.  Melt two or three squares in a tiny jug and just dip small pieces of Orangette into them.  If you have any trouble buying the orangettes (basically, candied orange peel – I got mine in my Good Fork hamper), you can make your own, or try Amazon (believe it or not).

These would be beautiful served at the end of a dinner party with the dark chocolate orangettes, little cups of very strong espresso coffee and maybe some freezing cold shot glasses of Cointreau too.

(Best get rid of the snow willies on the front lawn first, though).

So the weekend was somewhat traumatic.  I won’t fill you in on all the events, but needless to say being trapped in a packed train carriage all the way from Shepherds Bush while the three teenagers I was escorting serenaded their fellow commuters with loud renditions of My Horse is Amazing (seriously – don’t bother watching it, it’s that bad) and then being politely told that we were, in fact, accidentally in the first class carriage, shall remain with me for a long time and was one of the lesser traumatising events of the weekend.  Read out of that what you will.

Anyhoo.  In other news, I’m still on the lookout for a lovely breakfasty-type recipe that’s also quite healthy (I know, I know… giving up alcohol and vowing to eat healthily for the whole of January was a BIG HUGE MISTAKE – I have learned both that I could never be teetotal, and that I can’t live without cake) still, it’s nearly over now).  Yesterday I came across possibly one of the prettiest blogs I’ve ever seen: Eat Yourself Skinny.  It turns out that not only is the blog pretty, but the writer, Kelly, is ridiculously pretty as well.

So I thought, well.  If I eat what she eats, surely I’ll wake up looking exactly like her.

Right?

Oh.

Anyhoo, on to the trial and error.  I noticed that lovely Kelly’s blueberry and lemon bread was adapted from  Joy of Baking, so I went back to the original recipe to have a look.  Here’s my version.  I had to change it all from cups, and I decided to use rapeseed oil instead of butter (similar calories, just much better for you).  The result was yummy, although the inside of the cake was a bit too stodgy, presumably because beating the butter and sugar together introduces air into the mixture.  So I say stick with butter (the calories are the same).  I will say, though, that cutting it into the recommended 12 portions proved to be too much of a challenge.  Still, if you do manage it, you’ll be pleased to know that it’s just 159 calories a slice (might be better to cut it into 6 slices, then cut each in half). I also used a sugar substitute to keep the calories down (I know, I know, but honestly you can’t taste the difference).  Lastly, I used a whole punnet of blueberries which is a bit too much.  Stick to 150g.

You will need:

80g butter

6 tbsp granulated sugar substitute (try the new Truvia one – I haven’t been able to get hold of it yet)

2 eggs

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Zest of 1 lemon

225g self raising flour

125ml milk

So preheat the oven to 180/gas 4 and spray a loaf tin with cake release (or butter it very lightly).

Beat the butter in a mixer (or by hand if you’re feeling butch), then add the sugar and beat until the mixture’s really light and fluffy.  Add the eggs, beating between each addition, and then the vanilla extract and lemon zest.

Stir in the flour and then the milk.  Finally, stir in the blueberries

Pop the mixture into the loaf tin and bake for about 50 minutes.  Pop a knife tip into the centre to check that it’s done, otherwise leave for a bit longer.

Allow it to cool before slicing into your minute portions.  It really is surprisingly lush though – and the blueberries make it quite jammy and sticky too.  Top tip: freeze your slices (with a piece of greaseproof paper between each one). Then they’re easy to pop into the toaster for a quick and healthy breakfast.

Moving swiftly on from healthy eating, then, we must remember there are those of us at English Towers (the gangly, floppy haired ones and the skatery types) that still want a little something after school or dinner and demand treats, preferably piled up in an ungainly, chocolatey tower when doing A level revision.

This, and I don’t say this lightly, is my best chocolate brownie recipe ever.  I make it such a lot that I know it off by heart.  Oh yes, it’s been tweaked and added to (pistachios, chopped up Cadbury Fudge bars, rum-soaked raisins), but the plain old dark chocolate version is the one we love.  I also have to make this whenever the Death Wish Dude’s lovely mate, George, comes to visit as he’s a bit of a fan.  You’ll need:

200g dark chocolate (I swear by Bournville – already in a handy 200g size, dark but not too bitter)

170g salted butter (MUST be salted – or add a pinch if using unsalted)

3 eggs

200g soft brown sugar (caster is fine if you don’t have any)

110g plain flour

Preheat the oven to gas 4/180 degrees.

Melt the butter and chocolate in a bain-marie (you know the drill… bowl over a saucepan of just-simmering water – don’t let the bottom of the bowl come into contact with water).  Turn the water off when it’s just bubbling and stir the mixture gently until it’s combined.  Take it off the heat and allow to cool to room temperature.

Whisk the eggs and sugar together until light and frothy, then pour in the cooled chocolate/butter mixture, stir well, then add in the flour and any extras you’re adding (nuts… raisins… smarties… whatever).  Stir briefly until the flour disappears.

Pour into a well-lined baking tin (I use a lasagne tin, but a square cake tin will do).  Bake for about 30 minutes or until the top is cracked and shiny.  The centre should still be slightly soft.  Serve warm with ice cream (or if you’re serving as a dessert, whisk some cream with a bit of icing sugar and a slug of booze) or allow to cool and place in an airtight container

One word of warning: cut them small.  They won’t last long.

Okay so not exactly science… just baking jiggery pokery really.

First, can I say that I’m not a fan of processed low-fat ANYTHING.  If I’m going to spread butter on my bread it’s going to be butter (Yeo Valley out of preference), and nothing remotely low-fatty or weirdly whipped with water.

Still, it’s the New Year and while I love my cakey buns, I’m determined to shed a few Christmas pounds, and when you’re healthy eating, sometimes the worst thing to get over is a craving for something sweet.  A banana or handful of raisins will often do the trick, but let’s face it, you can’t beat cake.  The worst thing about cake is, well, everything really – fat, sugar and refined white flour are possibly the things that most of us are trying to avoid.

Enter stage left, the well-loved but often under-appreciated Mr Muffin.  He’s smaller, more portable and, in lower-fat baking terms, easier to keep moist.  Bless him.

So what’s the difference between a muffin and a cupcake (or fairy cake)?  Well, I’d say a muffin is more breakfasty and bready, and a cupcake is more, well, cakey.  Also I find that muffin recipes tend to contain oil, while cupcakes are more buttery, and more often than not are iced too.  But hey, a cake is a cake is a cake, right?  HOWEVER.  There are substitutes you can make in baking, and it IS possible to make a healthier version.  So let’s attack these babies one at a time, shall we?

FAT

Fat plays an important part in a cake recipe.  Butter, for a start, adds flavour, but more than that (and without getting too technical) it’s essential for lightness, as it plays a part in holding the air bubbles you’ve produced (by whisking the eggs and adding stuff like baking powder) and keeps the cake soft by ‘wrapping’ itself around the protein in the flour.

So. You can’t get rid of it completely, therefore use it wisely and make sure the fat you do use is good for you.  Rapeseed oil is excellent (I’ve talked about it before here).  You can, however, cut it down and replace some of it with other moist ingredients like fruit (apple purée or mashed banana, prunes, squished peaches…) or low-fat dairy like yoghurt and creme fraiche.  Yes, you’ll reduce the lightness a little bit, but you can get away with it.

SUGAR

Sugar obviously adds flavour (and again, without getting too technical, it inhibits gluten development, which, when allowed to run rampant can make cakes and biscuits a bit hard) and it also helps with browning.  If you’re using fruit as a substitute fat, this can help with sweetness too, and it can help with browning as cutting down sugar can sometimes make cakes look a bit insipid.  Honey can help here as it’s much better for us and has natural sweetness.

REFINED FLOUR

If you’re reducing fat and sugar, you’re going to give yourself the problem of toughness (remember the protein ‘wrapping’ and gluten development I mentioned above?  This is why an awful lot of low-fat foods have TONS of sugar in – it’s not just flavour, it’s about a tender end result as well).  So what else can we do?  Well, we can reduce the gluten in the first place, by replacing some of it with things like oats, which are much lower in gluten-producing proteins.  You can also experiment with low-gluten flours like rye flour.  Wholemeal flour is obviously a healthier option too and should contain less gluten (although I’m being cautious here, as this isn’t always the case).

Other tips for low-fat baking:

So now I’ve bored you to death with all this talk of gluten and ‘wrapping’, here are a couple of other things to consider:

Experiment.  You might love a recipe made with peach purée but hate mashed banana.  You might find that a recipe is too tough, but taking away a little flour and adding another handful of oats can make a terrific difference.  Have a play.  The only thing you’ll lose is the odd cake or batch of muffins (which will probably still be nice enough to eat anyway).

Try just cutting the fat down on a normal recipe.  You can often eliminate a third or even half the amount of butter without doing that much damage to the finished cake (trust me).

Lessen cooking times to retain moisture – with lower fat baking, you might find your cakes need less time in the oven.  This is often why muffins are better than cakes – they require much less oven time.

Remember the GMR.  The Golden Muffin Rule is most applicable when healthy baking – stir ONLY as much as necessary.  Working the mixture will develop the gluten and toughen up your end result.

If you find your recipe is a bit dense, try beating the egg whites and folding them into the mixture.

And finally, DON’T ever bother cooking with low-fat butter or margarine type thingies.  They are the spawn of the devil and should be avoided at all costs. Bleurgh.

So here’s my recipe for healthier muffins.  They’re not sweet, delicate little cupcakes, but for a healthy breakfast, they’re pretty unbeatable.  Try stirring through a handful of blueberries or some raisins too:

Banana, oat and honey healthy muffins

So…preheat your oven to gas 4/180.  Pop paper cases into a 12 hole muffin tin.

First combine your wet ingredients:

1 large egg

120g low fat yoghurt

120g milk

2 tablespoons rapeseed oil

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 large or 2 small bananas, mashed

1 or 2 tbsp honey

Then get all the dry ingredients ready in another bowl:

50g porridge oats

100g golden caster sugar

60g wholemeal flour

150g plain flour

1 tsp bicarbonate of soda

1 tsp baking powder

Now, bung the wet into the dry and quickly combine with a fork (remember the GMR – don’t worry if there’s the odd bit of flour left).  Pop a tablespoon of mixture into each muffin case and get them into the oven quickly.

Bake for 15 – 20 minutes (remember, the moister the better).  They won’t keep more than a day or two (in an airtight tin), but they’re a great healthy breakfast or sweet treat to keep you on the straight and narrow, or to shut the kids up when they’re after cakeage and you don’t want them rolling around like fat little barrels.  Oops, a bit non-PC there. Sorry.

A word of warning here, though, if you eat all 12 with three cups of tea, then possibly the ‘healthy’ tag doesn’t apply.

Just saying.

So, starting the year as we mean to go on, then, my next recipe is a little belter.  Brisket is a firm favourite in our house.  I love it because it’s a ‘bung it in and forget about it’ type of recipe, and the brevren and Hubby like the meltingly tender meat and rich sauce.  We have it with mashed potato usually (not really your diet option, so substitute with mashed sweet potato or maybe puréed parsnip, if you’re watching the poundage) and it always does at least two meals.  Our lovely local butcher does a great brisket joint (I’ve not weighed it, unfortunately – I’ll remember next time) quite reasonably and it does two meals for the four of us easily.

The anatomy lesson

First, then, the cut.  Don’t let the look of it put you off: it’s kind of a rolled up bit of meat with a covering of fat.  And yes, it’s possibly one of the cheaper cuts, but slow-roasted, well, braised, technically, it’s delicious.  If you imagine a cow (come on, join in), imagine where its breast would be, kind of between its front legs, and that’s where the brisket is (thanks as always to Jimmy’s Farm for my rather dodgy butchery knowledge – ‘first, take your cow…’), so it does a bit of work and therefore has its fair share of connective tissue.  A long, slow cook is what’s needed here, then, and you’ll be rewarded by a luscious, tender result.

Recipe

It’s a bit of a laugh to even CALL this a recipe, frankly.  All you’ll need is onions and stock.  If, like me, you occasionally snaffle leftover bits and bobs of soup and gravy and bag them in the freezer, this is the time to get them all out.  A little leftover tomato sauce (as I’ve used here) and a little leftover beef gravy will all go towards making this sauce even more delicious.  Still, if all you have is a couple of stock cubes that’s fine too.

It’s difficult to give an exact estimate because you’ll need enough liquid to cover the beef and this will depend on the size of your casserole, but you might need a couple of litres, give or take.

You’ll also need a good, sturdy ovenproof casserole with a lid.

Method

Preheat the oven to gas 4/180.

Heat up a tablespoon of oil in your heavy pot and chuck in one or two sliced onions.  Heat gently until they’re translucent, then reserve them while you crank up the heat and pop in your brisket.  Give it a good browning on all sides (this all adds to the flavour), then add back the onions.  Pour in the stock (adding in any leftover bits of sauces or gravies you’ve previously frozen), making sure it’s well covered.  Don’t season it at this stage, as stock (and leftover gravy) can be a bit salty, plus you’re going to concentrate it.

Pop on the lid and put it into the oven for a couple of hours.  You can just leave it the full four hours, but I like to give it a little twiddle after two:

Carefully lift out the meat onto a board, snip the strings holding the meat in a roll and discard them.  This will ‘uncurl’ your brisket and allow you to cut it up into two or three manageable chunks. Once you’ve done this, you can see where the extra fat is and trim it all off (this obviously makes it a lot more healthy too).  Pop it back into the stock, topping up if it’s looking a bit low, and sprinkle over a tablespoon of plain flour.  This will give the finished sauce a bit of ‘oomph’ – again, not compulsory.  Put the lid back on and leave it for another couple of hours.

The finished result will be melty, soft meat and a rich, gorgeous sauce.  Taste to check the seasoning, then serve, as above, with mashed sweet potato, or even rice an plenty of veggies.

The leftover meat can be sliced and used in sandwiches or whatever, but I like to take two forks and shred it into the sauce.  I either freeze it, or use it the next day, maybe with a little extra squirt of tomato purée, spooned over pasta.

Twiddles

As you know, I love a twiddle, and this is MADE for twiddling.  I’ve made a spicy version for friends, with lots of spices added and fried off with the onions at the beginning, and some of the stock replaced with tomato passata, and I’ve also done a vegetable-enhanced one with chopped leek, carrots and potatoes popped in when the meat has about an hour to go.  Delicious.

Buying online

The success of this dish will be dictated by the quality of the meat used.  If  you don’t have a local butcher, or yours isn’t able to supply you with the cut or breed you need, you can order from new online butchers, Farmison.

So, after promising you a couple of healthy recipes, I then buggered off and promptly forgot all about them.  Sorry.

Anyhoo, here I am, back live and a week into my alcohol free month.  It’s going well.  It’s going really well.  I feel fab – and after the amazing facial, my skin’s feeling fab too.  I’m drinking much more water (Katy told me that your body often mistakes thirst for hunger) and one of the biggest changes for me has been lunch.  I’ve switched from a sandwich and a packet of crisps, to a bowl of soup, and it’s made an amazing difference.

Why switch to soup?

Well, firstly, if you make it yourself, you know exactly what’s in it.  You can pack it full of veggies (great for that half a butternut squash left in the fridge, or a half packet of green beans that got forgotten) and it’s really low fat.  If you’ve got leftover chicken or beef in the fridge, you can add that in too.  Do what I do and make a great big vat of the stuff and store it in the fridge so it’s easy to grab and stops that lunchtime dithering thing that can see you reaching for a lump of cheese and a box of crackers (or is that just me?).  And remember, lentils are your friend.

Why lentils?

Lentils are, and I don’t use this word lightly, a real superfood.  They’re full of fibre and loads of other fab stuff like iron and B vitamins and are great for providing that protein kick you need at lunchtime to see you through the day. They also have the advantage of being a great thickener, so if you’re trying to eat healthily they’re an excellent addition to soups and stews.  They absorb flavours really well and have a mild, almost nutty taste themselves.

Get colourful

A good rule of thumb when making soup is to make sure you have lots of different colours going in there.  Different coloured veg generally provide different vitamins and minerals, so bung in some carrots or butternut squash, then choose something green (freeze a bag of spinach so you can grab a handful) and maybe, say, a red onion too.  Here’s a quick recipe, but once you get the hang of it, you’ll be making a different variety every time and you’ll never get bored.

Vary your seasoning

Think past salt and pepper.  Sweeter vegetables like parsnips and carrots go really well with a bit of earthy spice… tomatoes go well with chilli… have an experiment.

Lentil and vegetable soup

There are no hard and fast rules here.. add what you like and leave out what you don’t.

1 tablespoon rapeseed oil

1 onion, peeled and chopped

Variety of veg, peeled and chopped (three or four double handfuls should do it).  I used:

3 large carrots

1 large parsnip

1/2 butternut squash

1/2 bag watercress and rocket salad

Thick slice of savoy cabbage, chopped

2 litres chicken stock (or veg stock – cube is fine)

About 150 – 200g red lentils

So heat up the oil in a very large saucepan.  Add in the onion and fry until translucent.   If you’re adding spice, add it now – stir it around with the onions and oil until you can really smell it (I know that sounds weird, but it works).  Now, add in all your prepared veg, then pour over the stock.  Add in the lentils (use less if you prefer your soup thinner).  Simmer for about 20 minutes or until tender, then blitz with a stick blender.

So this is it – the big day is nearly upon us! I hope you’re all sorted… if you need any last minute advice, it’s all here:

If you need help choosing wine to match your food

If you need help with cooking the turkey on Christmas day (remember if you are lucky enough to have a free range bronze Turkey they take considerably less time to cook – click here for the KellyBronze Turkey recommended cooking times).

For easy apple, red onion and chestnut stuffing click here

For mince pies click here

For easy last minute chocolate jaffa cake Christmas trees click here

For Christmas baked ham click here

For gorgeous Cranberry and port sauce click here

So that’s it, then.  Christmas sorted.  Here are a few of my golden Christmas rules, a ‘Christmas mantra’ if you would, for when things get a little stressful:

• Chill out and remember it’s just another day and another roast dinner
• Have fun – proper fun, not ‘oh okay, if I MUST’ type fun
• Dress up!
• Enjoy your loved ones
• Have a few cocktails
• Light a candle
• Take a deep breath and count to ten first
• Don’t worry about  your waistline
• Give someone everyone you love a kiss under the mistletoe
• Say you love it even it you hate it
• Keep your hand on your ha’penny (one of these days I’ll find out what this actually means)
• Oh, and please don’t drink and drive.  I need you here to keep me company.

And while I’m on the subject, thank you for popping in this year, whether you’ve clicked here once or a hundred times – your visits and comments mean such a lot to me. Until next year, then. Mwah xx

‘And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store?  What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?’

Probably a bit late with this one, but as I was making my stuffing this morning I made a few tweaks to my last recipe and thought you might like it – apologies if yours is already shopped for and made!  We like a lot of stuffing and this quantity will fill a decent-sized terrine with a little left over, which I roll into little balls and bake separately, but feel free to halve it if there’s only a few of you.

You will need:

1 -2 tbsp butter

2 red onions, finely chopped

2 dessert apples, grated (don’t bother to peel)

2 x 375g packs pork sausage meat

100g fresh white breadcrumbs

100g vac packed chestnuts, crumbled (we’re a family divided over chestnuts – if you love them, add the whole pack)

2 tbsp parsley, chopped

2 tbsp thyme, chopped

2 tbsp sage, chopped

Squeeze of lemon juice

Seasoning to taste

So heat the butter in the frying pan and add in the onion.  Fry very gently until softened.  Add in the apple and cook that just until it’s a bit darker in colour and softened.

Remove from the heat and allow to cool. I make the stuffing in the KitchenAid but if you’re doing it without one I suggest you just get your hands in there – it’s the easiest way to combine everything.

So now just bung it all together: the cooled onion and apple mixture, the sausage meat, breadcrumbs, crumbled chestnuts, herbs and lemon juice, and give it a good old mix.

Season well (you can fry a teaspoon of mixture if you want to check the seasoning). Transfer to your buttered terrine and store, covered with cling film, in the fridge until the big day.  It’ll take about half an hour in the oven at about 190/gas 5 (180 if you’ve got a fan oven). Obviously it looks a bit more appetising when it’s cooked, but I’m not cooking it until tomorrow.

This also makes a very nice stuffing for ravioli if you happen to get a pasta machine for Christmas!

So yes you can rush out and buy a jar of cranberry sauce, but it’s equally easy to rush out and buy  pack of cranberries, and this yummy sauce will not only adorn your Christmas plate with its gorgeousness, but also scent your home so delightfully it could put Yankee Candles to shame. You can use all port if you haven’t got any Cointreau (English Dad got a bit sniffy about me using his posh Taylor’s, hence the addition of Cointreau), but it does give a nice orangey zing.

You will need:

1 pack cranberries (or you can use frozen) – about 250g should do it

100g brown sugar

1 orange, zested then juiced

1 cinnamon stick

120ml port

60ml Cointreau (or other orange liqueur)

A pinch of dried chilli flakes

Just pop all the ingredients into a saucepan:

… and simmer away for about 20 minutes.  Remember that cranberries have VERY high pectin, so even if you think it’s not thick enough, take it off the heat as it will thicken up as it cools.  Don’t forget to fish out the cinnamon stick.

Pour into a sterilised jam jar (dishwasher cycle or a good wash up and a thorough drenching with boiling water) and pop on a lid (it should just about fill one jar).  And that’s it!  Make double and give as a present, or just use yourself on Christmas day.

To skip all the waffle and just get to the recipe, feel free to scroll down.

It will be no surprise to you when you hear me say that I love Christmas. LOVELOVELOVE Christmas! But often I find that Christmas recipes involve huge amounts of food. There’s generally only the four of us for Christmas lunch, plus maybe my Mum, so to turn to Nigella’s Christmas book and find her recipe for Christmas ham starts with a 6.5kg  joint is a bit of a shocker – and frankly my maths isn’t fantastic, so downsizing a recipe generally involves taking off my shoes and socks and borrowing the kids’ fingers and toes too.  Far too much like hard work.

This recipe, therefore – and I’ve tested it – my family have been eating christmas glazed ham since September – works with ANY sized joint.  Multiply it up and down as you see fit and as suits you.

I think ham makes a wonderful Boxing Day (or St Stephen’s Day if you’re across the Irish Sea) feast.  It’s wonderful hot with creamy mashed potatoes, or cold with chutneys and cheeses and a hunk of crusty bread.

Choosing your ham (or gammon, to be precise)

What’s the difference? Well essentially, gammon is what ham is before it’s cooked – it’s generally wet cured in brine, however dry curing is thought to give a better result. Again, it’s up to you.

When choosing a Christmas gammon joint I’d recommend going to a good butcher. I know supermarkets have them in, but butchers get really good quality meat, and you know how I feel about poor intensively farmed piggies. Be vocal. Ask where the meat has come from. This is not the time of year to have every bite sticking in your throat with guilt. Choose a pig that lived a happy life and had a humane ending. You’ll feel better for it.  If you’re choosing in a supermarket, though, look out for the Red Tractor logo – a sure sign of decent quality meat.

I prefer smoked gammon, which has a more intense flavour, but go with what you fancy.

Spicing and poaching

Spicing your gammon as you simmer it infuses wonderful flavour into the meat.  It also makes the kitchen (and the whole house) smell fantastic – a big part of Christmas cooking as far as I’m concerned.

You can also poach your gammon in all sorts of different liquids.  Cider works really well, and Coca Cola imbues a really gorgeous depth and sweetness.

For this recipe, I’ve used plain old water.

With the spices, just think Christmas.  Again, this bit is personal preference.  Leave things out if you don’t have them, or add something a bit different if you like.

Glazing and roasting

Glazing adds a gorgeous, sticky finish and an incredible amount of flavour.  Again, the glaze can be as simple or as complicated as you like.  Personally, I think you need the following elements:

1. Sticky: Marmalade works really well, as does honey,  Hoi Sin sauce (thanks, Erica, for that one) or even golden syrup or mango chutney.

2. Boozy: I’ve used Pedro Ximenez sherry (it’s got a scrummy, raisiny flavour which is basically Christmas in a bottle), but dark rum will do the trick – if you don’t want to use alcohol, try Worcestershire sauce or soy sauce. Or add both.

3. Sweet: dark brown sugar is perfect here

4. Spicy: 1 or 2 tsp of mustard will do, but you could add chilli sauce, or grated fresh ginger

Something fresh is nice too – maybe some orange juice or a squeeze of lime.

Keep the basic quantities the same and you’ll have roughly the right amount.

But frankly, you could just spoon over a couple of tablespoons of honey and it would still be lush.

The final roasting allows the meat to suck up all those gorgeous flavours.  If you stick a pan with some water in the bottom of the oven, it shouldn’t dry out too much.  Whatever sized joint, it should only need about 3o mins – after all, it’s already cooked.

Anyhoo, here’s my version:

Christmas glazed ham

1 smoked gammon joint – anywhere from 800g to 8kg

1 large onion

1 cinnamon stick, snapped

1 tsp Szechuan peppercorns (or black peppercorns if you don’t have them)

2 or 3 star anise

1 tsp cumin seeds

3 or 4 cardamom pods

4 or 5 cloves

Small piece of dried ginger (or fresh)

2 bay leaves

For the glaze:

4 tbsp maple syrup

2 tbsp Pedro Ximenez sherry (or dark rum, or whatever you’ve got)

1 tbsp dark brown sugar

1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce

Squeeze of lime

Pop the gammon joint into a nice, big saucepan (make sure you have a lid to fit), add in enough cold water to cover and pop in all the spices, plus a large onion, and maybe some carrots or celery too.

Bring to the boil, then reduce the heat and simmer gently  (JUST bubbling) for 30 minutes per 500g.  This one here is quite small, only 800g, so I did it for just under an hour – you don’t have to be too precise.

When the time’s up, allow to cool (you need to handle it and frankly, we could all do without third degree burns at Christmas), then remove the rind.  Leave on the fat.  If you want to, you can do the traditional diamond shaped scoring, dotting each intersection with a clove.

Preheat the oven to 180/gas 4.

Place all your glaze ingredients in a saucepan and stir until just combined.  Place the joint on a baking tray and pour over about a third of the glaze.  Spread it around with a pastry brush.  If you don’t want to mess about with a glaze, just spoon over a couple of tablespoons of runny honey.

Bake for about ten minutes, then remove and glaze again.

Bake for another ten minutes, then remove and cover with the rest of the glaze.  Give it ten more minutes and you’re done.

This ham will keep for up to a week wrapped well in the fridge, but I doubt it will last that long!