ENGLISH MUM

My sister in law (who is a sweet, gentle creature) once told me that many moons ago, during a lovers’ tiff with my brother, she was so cross she took the tomato sauce bottle and wrote ‘SHIT’ on the kitchen floor in ketchup.  You see?  Naughty words are a form of therapy.  And with this in mind, laydees and gentlespoons, I bring you the arsebiscuit. I’ve been banging on about them...

So during half term, my adorable twin niece and nephew, Miss Turtle and Mr Jackson came to stay with my two chisellers.  We decided to have a blow-out junk food and video night and Turtle agreed to be my glamorous assistant, tearing herself away from her mobile phone and nail file (how the girl doesn’t have stumps for fingers the amount of filing she does, I’ll never know) for just long enough...

UPDATE: Okay, so the results are in.  And yes, I know, I know, this is just a bit of fun, not a competition, but Toria has chosen her faves: 1st Heather’s from Eggs, Cream and Honey.  They look mouthwateringly gorgeous and I want to stuff my face with them! Yum 2nd Mummy Limited’s heart cupcakes. Loving the sparkliness with the glitter and hearts that look fab on the cream frosting. Too pretty...

I have my friend and fellow blogger Mrs Wallop to thank for this one.  I was at the butcher’s a couple of weeks ago, and was rather taken by a whole shoulder of lamb, which I bought on a whim because it was cheap.  Shoulder has by far the tastiest meat, but isn’t a pretty joint.  Still, it has… erm… ‘character’, shall we say. Anyhoo, later, when it was sitting staring at...

My Mum’s a great cook.  If I ever want to try something, nine times out of ten she’ll know: cakes, casseroles, weird Australian fruit cakes, Scotch eggs… you name it, she’ll have a recipe. I’ve been wanting to make marmalade for ages, so when Hubby appeared back from the farm shop with a big bag of Seville oranges (in season now, folks!), it seemed a good time to kidnap her and...

Every time we have a takeaway from the local Indian Restaurant, Hubby always raves about their Chicken Dhansak.  It’s kind of a lentily, thick and very slightly sweet chicken curry with a powerful kick of chilli.  I’ve been trying to recreate it for a while and I think, judging by his reaction, I’m nearly there.  It’s great served with my cheaty flatbreads and once you’ve got...

  *sigh* It’s bloody January again (to quote Flanders and Swann). Apparently there is no news in the whole world apart from the fact that it’s snowing.  And if that, plus the fact that fate decided to dump 4″ of it upon English Towers II wasn’t quite bad enough, it seems that no teacher can possibly drive in slush, so the kids are off as well. It’s enough to make you want to...

So, starting as we mean to go on (eating seasonally, I mean), I thought I’d give a mention to the humble mussel. Now it took me a long time to come around to them. Let’s face it, they look kind of like giant orange bogeys, but a few sunny harbourside holidays in Brittany put paid to any illusions about their fabulous taste. Now I’m a convert. According to Loch Fyne, owners of the most dreamy...

So that’s it, then.  The big day is shortly upon us and I’m looking forward to a small family Christmas (just us, English Grandma and maybe Mad Uncle Ali in the afternoon) at our new little house in Hertfordshire. Wherever you are and whoever you’re with, I wish you all a wonderful, indulgent Christmas. And as always, remember to chill out, have fun, stick on your glad rags, enjoy your precious...

So if you’re snowed in, or just fancy a nice afternoon of Christmassy cooking in the kitchen, I can think of nothing finer than stollen.  Not only is it yummy, but the smell of it cooking is just the finest thang ever. As you can see from the picture, I actually made mine when I was back at English Towers in Ireland (it was for a magazine article, so they were unseasonably made in October), but they...