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Family, food, travel, gin and a touch of hysteria…
ENGLISH MUM IN THE PRESS
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In which I inform the school that tie shredding boy needs a break

The lettuce protest He’s a bit of a wag is The Dude.  Not in a bad way.  Oh no, I’m far too scary a parent to allow anything like that.  I do, however, feel that we shouldn’t crush every bit of individuality and personality out of our children.  I want my children to be respectful, kind and considerate, but we do have a bit of a giggle at home, and sometimes there’s a bit of banter...

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In which the curse of Disreputable Dad’s dodgy centre of gravity strikes again

My poor Disreputable Dad’s taken yet another nasty tumble.  He’s got quite a talent for comedic falls, my Dad. I wonder if he’s got some sort of dodgy centre of gravity (it could be the slight restaurant belly that’s doing it…).  You may remember the case of the nuns and the travelator a while back – well, he’s had two more since then.  During their honeymoon (I did...

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Paw teddies, cat beards, and losing an eye to an angry Ninja

My friends all find it hilarious that I live with a human-hating cat.  Our Ninja’s not a people person, bless her.  She’s never happier than when she’s gnawing on an unsuspecting human, and takes great pleasure at turning from purry to assassin by the time you’ve stroked half way down her back and realised you’ve made a big mistake. Much hilarity, then, was caused by the photo...

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‘Er, Mum? The exam’s not today…’

God this week has been mental.  This one came with the added stress of it being Sam’s first A level exam week. Sunday was a bit frantic as he had to work (HOW do these kids do it?  Studying and revising, learning to drive, holding down a part-time job AND attempting a decent social life too?) and didn’t feel that he’d got much revision in.  The Dude was knackered after an all-nighter at...

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Panty liners, poodles and hurdling toddlers… Keeping it classy in the Côte d’Azur

This week I’ve been in the Côte d’Azur, at possibly the most beautiful place I’ve ever stayed.  Whilst there, you’ll be pleased to hear that I had several epic adventures including: Seeing more tiny teacup dogs than I ever thought possible, and feeling the need to say ‘Monsieur, I need to poop!’ Each time in the style of ‘What Women Want’. Replying to a French...

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The triple layer Curly Wurly chocolate mousse cake and Sam’s 18th

WHAT. A. DAY. We started early, constructing an epic chocolate layer cake. It was loosely based on Charlie’s birthday cake, but we dispensed with the top layer and added a layer of whipped cream and a thick layer of crumbled Flakes. Oh, and of course those Curly Wurlys – painstakingly cut to size and applied by the birthday boy himself. Here’s how to make it: Triple Layer Curly Wurly Chocolate...

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Turning 18: future plans (or not), driving and the all-important party

The boys with their beautiful cousin, Turtle Today our Sam, the Mad Professor, turns 18.  I’m just not sure how I feel, to be honest.  Sure, I’m immensely proud of him: he’s a good kid: kind and funny (he makes us all cry with laughter), thoughtful, a brilliant big brother (they play American Football together and have an increasingly blended mix of friends – I love this), a caring...

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Shortlisted *happy dance*

If you’re a regular reader you’ll know that this little blog is a bit difficult to pigeonhole.  There’s food, certainly, lots of food, but there’s also a lot of waffle about life here at English Towers, reviews, cookbooks, other waffle about stuff I like, days out and, more increasingly, travel. I’m absolutely loving it and, heartened by the increasing number of visitors, am happily...

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Fluffy Friday: Jack the Burmese kitten

Just to brighten up your Friday, here’s Jack.  He’s a Burmese kitten that belongs to one of the Captains that flies on English Dad’s fleet. Isn’t he just adorable? Check out the Yoda ears!: Jack the Burmese And this is Jack playing a game of fetch with his Dad (sorry about the iPhone vid cropping) ! I WANT ONE!

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A triple layer chocolate mousse cake for the Dude’s birthday

Triple layer chocolate mousse cake I know I’m always complaining about being old but blimey, my youngest was 15 yesterday. The Dude is mahoosive and has turned into a handsome, kind and funny teenager who is American Football mad and a bit of a gym obsessive. We’re all immensely proud of him. As is the tradition at English Towers, he’s been allowed to choose the birthday cakeage. Usually this...

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In which the enormous teenager finally gets a new bed

For some reason, although Mr English and I are no taller than 5’7 at a stretch (I think I’m slightly taller, but we always argue so we just agree that we’re both quite short), our offspring continue to grow at an alarming rate.  Sam, our very own Mad Professor, is now so tall that we recently had to buy longer trousers for all his school suits (he was starting to look a little Michael Jacksonesque),...

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The Disreputable One’s wedding: speeches, dancing and the cupcake challenge

Yesterday was my Disreputable Dad’s wedding.  It started badly, with me still running around covered in icing an hour before we were supposed to leave (I stupidly offered to make them cupcake towers) and Dad arriving to pick the boys up for the church with not one, but both boys still in their pants. In the ensuing panic, people were jabbed with buttonhole pins, ties were tied and retied, tempers were...

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A very happy unbirthday to meeee at the Kings Head, Ivinghoe

I think the King’s Head in Ivinghoe is a bit of a hidden gem.  If I ever mention it, people don’t seem to have heard of it, yet my Disreputable Dad adores the place (we clubbed together to buy him dinner there for his birthday), and I often drive past (it’s a stunning ivy-clad 16th century building) and think ‘one day’, despite the fact that the Jags and Bentleys parked outside...

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The birthday with NO CAKE!

Aw I had such a fab day yesterday.  Despite their Dad’s absence the brevren rallied well – no cards (‘what, you have to buy presents AND cards?’) but they did get me a voucher for a lovely Clarins facial – will look forward to that.  Mahoosive brownie points go to Mr English for the gift of THIS little beauty: My birthday pressie Isn’t it beautiful?  After pressies it was...

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A chocolate cake of epic proportions for the Prof’s 18th birthday

Firstly, can I just point out that GOD, I’M REALLY OLD.  My firstborn baby boy – my blue eyed, blonde haired, chatty little charmer – is 18 next month. I won’t gush on too much, but I’m immensely proud of him.  He’s grown into a bloody lovely, slightly enormous and very gangly fella – funny, kind and still capable of squeezing the life out of his Mum with a single...

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Review: Disney’s Oz the Great and Powerful

Image (c) disney.com We’re huge Disney fans, and after missing the chance to go and see the premiere in London while I was away on the cruise, we made sure we booked this weekend to go and see Oz the Great and Powerful. The film stars James Franco as Oz, Mila Kunis as Theodora , Michelle Williams as Glinda the Good Witch, Rachel Weisz as Evanora, and Zach Braff as the voice of Finley the winged monkey. Without...

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Easy canapés to serve with drinks for the Disreputable One’s big day

So my Disreputable Dad and his partner are planning a small wedding.  Sam, our very own Mad Professor, was absolutely delighted – and pretty gobsmacked it has to be said – when his Grandad asked him to be his best man, and the Dude, along with his cousin Jackson, is going to be an usher. The Dude is ridiculously excited about wearing a suit.  I’m slightly less excited about buying it.  Still,...

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The Photo Gallery: Boys

One of my best buddies, the lovely Tara, runs an online photo gallery every week over at Sticky Fingers.  People from all over the world enter photos into the gallery every week to a specific theme.  This week, the theme is ‘boys’.  Well, I had to, didn’t I? They make me laugh until I cry (at a recent parents’ evening, one of Charlie’s teachers said: ‘I love him.  I could...

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A cunning plan: the Death Wish Dude’s strategy for parents’ evening

During a recent shopping trip to find him a suit for my Disreputable Dad’s upcoming wedding (the girl in the shop was rather taken with my handsome boy and I was laughing as she practically climbed into the changing room with him), we were discussing parents’ evening, which is fast approaching.  And while he’s doing well at school, I’m under no illusion that my youngest enormous offspring...

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Insuring teenagers on their first car? Maybe this ‘Smartbox’ is the answer?

So last week Sam, the Mad Prof, passed his theory test.  He had £100 worth of lessons for Christmas and is doing well, enjoying driving, and looking forward to passing his practical test and gaining his freedom. Woah there horsey. There’s no way, at the moment, that we can afford to buy him a car.  Hence, about four months ago, I sold my enormous V6 Mondeo and bought what we thought was a sensible car,...

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Review: The Thistle Hotel, Marble Arch, London

  Living, as we do, just a 45 minute train ride away from London, you’d think we’d be popping to the capital all the time. In fact, we very rarely do, so an invitation to come and spend the weekend in London at the Thistle Hotel, Marble Arch was the cause of much excitement here at English Towers.  It was also, I have to say, a rare pleasure to spend an entire weekend together, blighted (or...

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The yearly thank you card debacle

I’m not a harsh parent, I don’t think (well, English Dad is always telling me I’m too soft), but I do like my children to be polite.  They’re really lucky in that they have a pretty large (and slightly fragmented) family, so they get pressies from all over the place, and even if it’s just a tenner in a card, I do like them to say thanks. Trouble is, we get later and later, and...

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Gorgeous nutty golden syrup flapjack

Ahhhh golden syrup. Is there a nicer smell?  I wondered aloud recently (well, on Instagram) why someone had never created a perfume based on the sweet scent of it.  I mean, come on! Someone’s already done a gin perfume.. Talking of gin, alcohol free January is miserable.  Last year, I said never again, and yet this year here I am nursing a sad, lukewarm glass of squash every night, instead of a sparklingly...

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In which I finally get to be a model (with a little help from Special K!)

I am a lucky girl. I get some wonderful invitations. One dropped into my inbox recently, though, that sounded too good to be true: did I want to get a proper, modelly makeover and star in a Special K advertisement at Westfield Shopping Centre? HOLD ME BACK! The day started with coffees and catching up with old friends (plus making some new) – my ol’ Disney muckers Exmoor Jane, and DDs Diary were...

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Happy New Year! And another alcohol free January.

We had a such a lovely new year.  Turtle, my gorgeous niece, made the most amazing cocktails, we had a scrummy dinner cooked by my very clever sister in law (the sweet potato and chorizo was a revelation), and then Sam, Charlie, Jackson and even, hilariously, my brother IJ and I had a mad dancing competition on the Wii. A fab time. It ended with champagne and cuddles with velvet nosed doggies on squishy sofas...

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