If I’m being brutally honest, I don’t think I was ever destined to achieve very much.
I was pretty average at school (if you’d like to read one of my reports here, you’ll see my form tutor attesting to the fact that ‘if she is to achieve her true potential she will have to work harder and overcome her tendency to talk in the classroom’) and after doing 57 different jobs, from barmaid to car sales to letting agent (got sacked from that one) to secretary, I finally found a decent job in the police service, only to decide one day down the pub (at 25) that we’d quite like to have a baby. I also remember telling my Mum this momentous news, possibly while in the next breath asking to borrow fifty quid as I needed to tax my car and had run out of money.
My parents, no doubt, despaired.
BUT hey, we went on to have two sons, and managed not to break them (although I dropped them a few times) and they are our pride and joy: strong, funny, amazing young men.
And after all those jobs, what did I end up doing? Well, eating cake and drinking gin, mostly, but – officially – writing, and specifically, writing this blog.
My life experiences have been many, and rich: I have cruised the Caribbean on the Disney Dream, taken part in a TV documentary, wandered the rocket garden at the Kennedy Space Centre, stood at the top of the world’s tallest building in Dubai, experienced Orlando with the best group of buddies you have ever wished for, cooked at Leith’s, gazed up at Chichen Itza’s glory, and, most importantly, have been able to share this wonderful life with my fabulous friends, amazing family, wonderful husband and my two, incredible sons.
My achievements have been few, but varied, and mostly a bit bonkers. I actually made a list in the bath the other day: I’ve won awards, been video messaged by Gary Barlow, I’ve been told to shut up by Dr Brian Cox’s wife, I’ve been hugged by Jimmy Doherty, I’ve raised quite a lot of money for people in Haiti, been referenced as a ‘totally unsuitable brand ambassador’ (proud of that one), and most of it has been due to this blog: my own, tiny corner of the internet where, surprisingly, you’ve all decided to keep popping in. For six years. SIX YEARS! I’ve been called ‘witty’ by Closer Magazine, ‘hilarious’ by the Irish Independent. I’ve also been called ‘darlin’ by Jamie Oliver and been told by Tim Minchin that we are ‘all very nice and good looking’. I have written 1337 blog posts (apparently my gamer boy says this is ‘leet’) and tweeted over 53000 times (this just means I should get out more). Small things, admittedly, but then I was never going to achieve my true potential unless I overcame my tendency to talk, remember?
Anyway, this video is for you, and it’s just my way of thanking everyone that’s important to me, and everyone that’s ever clicked here. There are a couple of omissions – my big bro and my cousin Moon for starters, but hey… Massive thanks to Sam who stayed up until 4am when the original person doing the video let us down.
Do keep on popping in, won’t you?