The Co-operative Membership Fund and Disreputable Dad’s yellow tractor
So just before we wrap up 2010, I thought you might be interested to hear about the Disreputable One and his poor tractor. The ancient cricket club tractor has been part of our lives for as long as I can remember. It’s cut the cricket pitch, trimmed the local verges and dragged gang mowers around the school field since I was teeny (I gained much kudos from waving to my Dad out of the classroom window as he trundled noisily around the playing field, belching out clouds of black smoke behind him). When I was tiny I used to bag lifts around the cricket pitch on his lap (probably totally against Health and Safety, but hey), and my sons did the same.
Sadly, during a recent chat with the Disreputable One (mostly centred on the state of his grandson’s wedding vegetables (‘will he be able to carry on the Disreputable dynasty?’) he mentioned that the ancient yellow peril is on its last legs.
I was very interested, then, to hear about a great new way to do wondrous things for your community. I like the Co-operative. Their ethical approach is very appealing and their Cooperative Membership Fund gives everyone the chance to do something really brilliant.
Basically, the fund is made up of donations given by members who can choose to give a percentage of their profit-share into a big pot. This year, the Co-operative members have donated £1.2 million to local communities. You don’t have to be a charity, just a group that would like the extra cash (from £100 up to £2000) to do something special for the place where they live.
And so to the small print:
To get a grant, a group (you don’t have to be a charity) must be aiming to carry out positive work in the community and must address a community issue, provide a long-term benefit to the community, support co-operative values and principles and ideally be innovative in its approach.
So a slightly newer yellow tractor that keeps a little village tidy, its cricket team hitting the odd six and its children merrily kiss-chasing on a summer’s day would seem to be the perfect candidate.
So what about you? Do your local Brownie pack need some new equipment? Does your football team need some swanky new kit? Maybe you’ve even got an old Disreputable One who needs a new tractor? Click here and apply. Bexley Swimming Club did:
Dad, get your application in now!
Motorways, Xbox magnificence and bird murder
It’s been a funny old Christmas. We thought it would never get started as due to awful weather conditions both here and in the UK, English Dad looked as though he’d never get over here to celebrate Christmas with us. Endless delays and cancellations saw him backwards and forwards to the airport, before finally he got re-booked on a flight due to come in on Christmas Eve Eve evening (if you get my drift). We were also hampered by frozen pipes. Still, the teenagers embraced the ‘not having to wash’ lifestyle and I performed weird spit-washes in two inches of kettle water.
The snow was really coming down, but I roped the Death Wish Child into coming with me and we set off a little gingerly for Dublin Airport. The highlight of the trip occurred just as we were getting off the motorway at the airport turnoff. There was about a foot of fresh snow and we exited onto the sliproad sideways. While I screamed, clutching the steering wheel for dear life (hysteria is my middle name), the DWC squealed with delight: ‘Awesome Mum! You’re drifting! It’s like Gran Turismo!’
Arriving traumatised at the airport, I persuaded my passengers that there was no way I wanted a repeat of GT5 and would be returning to Cavan via the M50 and then via the M3. BIG mistake. Big, huge mistake. We sat, as more snow fluttered down, in solid traffic.
In total, our trip took us over five hours. In the meantime, my lovingly prepared ham in coca cola had boiled dry, but in a spectacular culinary rescue mission, the Mad Professor had smelt the smoke and topped up the liquid. Impressive.
Christmas morning, we were greeted by a hungry pheasant hoovering up the food we’d left out for the birds. It was somewhat tainted by the fact that the Ninja Cat of Death murdered one of the little Wagtails that had come along for a snack. The poor little thing’s body laid frozen and bloody as all the other birds continued to stuff their faces, leading English Dad to ponder that it must be the equivalent of eating in The Ivy with a large cadaver draped across the table.
Continuing on the theme of bird murder, our turkey turned out really well:
I got some fab pressies: lots of smellies, some gorgeous Gucci perfume, Nigella Kitchen and an awesome Dualit hand blender. De brevren were lucky enough to have been sent an Xbox Kinect and some games and I discovered (to my children’s disgust) that I’m REALLY good at ‘QB in motion’ – a kind of American football game on Kinect Game Party in Motion. The Xbox Harry Potter Deathly Hallows game is awesome as well (it’s got bits you can play with the Kinect). We spent the afternoon playing Xbox International Cricket and creating our teams entirely with names starting with Fat. Childish, yes, but very funny. Fatkinson scored a century, if you’re interested.
How about you, then? Good Christmas?
How do I cook the turkey? English Mum’s easy peasy guide to Christmas dinner
Soooo here comes the big day! There’s just the four of us this year, but whether you’re catering for 15 or it’s just you and your other half, the golden rule is the same as ever: Christmas day is a happy, family day. Please don’t get stressed and fall apart. Just think of it as a big roast dinner – a turkey is very forgiving and will happily rest for a good hour (and probably more), covered in foil and a tea towel or two, so there’s no need to rush anything. My one recommendation is to take ten minutes to write a rough timetable somewhere, so that when you’re a bit sozzled, you can easily work out your timings. Remember if you’re steaming a Christmas pudding as well you’ll need to time that.
And look, I love Nigella, but will I be brining my turkey in about fifteen quid’s worth of citrus fruits, various herbs, spices and maple syrupy water? Nope. It’s waaaay too much effort, and cost. I’ll be preparing as much as I can in advance so that I can have a couple of glasses of champers and enjoy a gentle potter in the kitchen on the big day.
As for prep, here’s my top tips:
Prepare in advance
Get as much as possible done 1 or 2 days in advance. Peel the potatoes, cut them into even sizes and boil for as long as you dare (the softer they are the fluffier the centre will be when you roast them). Then just drain, leave to sit until cool and then open freeze on a tray before popping in a sealable freezer bag and freezing (if you freeze them straight into the bag they all fuse together in one big lump). On the day they can go straight into the hot oil/goose fat from frozen.
With the veg, just peel and prepare all your carrots/sprouts/whatever and bung them in plastic bags. Don’t freeze them as this will make them a bit soggy, but store them sealed in the fridge until you’re ready, then just pop straight into the boiling water (or steam) on the day.
For the turkey
Again, do this the day before. Don’t wally about washing the bloody thing in the sink – the hot oven will kill any germs and you’ll just succeed in covering yourself and your sink in all manner of bacteria. Just unwrap it, take the giblets out (use to make stock), pluck out any stray feathers and get on with it.
I use one of those massive disposable foil turkey tray things – I know it’s not the most environmentally friendly choice but hey, it’s Christmas.
Add a few extras:
It’s nice to use a few flavours to enhance the turkey so cut up a couple of lemons or oranges, squeeze them over the bird and then stick them into the body cavity along with a halved onion and a nice bunch of bay, thyme or rosemary or whatever you have and some salt and pepper, then tie the legs together.
For extra moistness and flavour, you can take about half a pack of butter, and mush it up with some of the stuff you’ve used in the cavity – maybe some lemon zest, pepper and a little chopped rosemary or parsley? Then separate the skin from the breast with your fingertips (you don’t have to be too careful, turkey skin is like leather), then squish the butter all over the breast under the skin. Now smooth the skin back down, drizzle with a little oil and some salt and pepper.
To stuff or not to stuff?:
I don’t stuff the turkey, partly because eating something out of a turkey’s innards puts me off a bit and partly because I think it’s better for the hot air to circulate inside it. I make the stuffing separately and cook it in a terrine in the oven once the turkey’s resting. If you want to, though, by all means stuff the neck end just before cooking.
Weighing and preparing:
Weigh your turkey and work out the cooking time. Write it on your timetable then just cover with foil (don’t bother buying that ridiculously expensive turkey foil – just overlap the normal stuff), then leave it somewhere cool until you need it. Mine’s going in a plastic box in the garage as it’s nice and cold in there, but if we have a sudden warm snap (heh, yeah right), I’ll pack some ice round it (it needs to be less than 4 degrees).
On the day:
I take my turkey out and let it come to room temp on Christmas morning. No point in putting a very cold turkey into a hot oven – it’ll take ten minutes to even start cooking. Just slosh a bit of water in the bottom of the roasting pan, then stick the turkey on at 190/gas 5 (180 for fan ovens), set your timer and go and have a glass of champers. If you want to, you can baste it every so often, but if you forget, don’t worry at all.
Turkey under 4kg: 20 minutes per kilo, plus a further 70 minutes
Turkey over 4kg: 20 minutes per kilo, plus a further 90 minutes
Remove the foil for the last 40 or so minutes to brown the top
Once your turkey is done (you can wobble a leg easily, and a quick stab with a knife into the thickest part will allow you to collect nice clear juices on a spoon), drain the juices into a pan for the gravy, then cover with foil and forget it while you cook everything else.
And because I ordered a turkey crown from James Whelan Butchers, I asked Pat Whelan to tell us how he cooks his gorgeous free-range turkey crowns:
Cream some butter in a bowl until very soft, then add the crushed garlic, orange rind, parsley and thyme. Beat well, until thoroughly blended. Gently loosen the neck flap away from the breast and pack the flavoured butter right under the skin — this is best done wearing disposable gloves. Rub well into the flesh of the turkey, then re-cover the skin and secure with a small skewer or sew with fine twine. Finally, cover the top of the crown with the rashers.
Place the turkey crown in the oven and calculate your time — 20 minutes per 450g (1lb) plus 20 minutes, so a joint this size should take three hours and 40 minutes. Cover loosely with foil, which should be removed about 40 minutes before the end of the cooking time. The turkey crown will cook much more quickly than a whole turkey, so make sure to keep basting.
To check if the turkey is cooked, pierce a fine skewer into the chest part of the crown, the juice should run clear. When cooked, cover with foil to rest and keep warm.
For great roasties
You really don’t need a lake of fat to make them lovely and crispy. Just cover the bottom of the roasting tin completely and make sure the fat is very hot before you add your frozen potatoes. Spoon the fat over all the potatoes then whack in a nice hot oven. The turkey will wait until your potatoes are golden and crispy (40 mins to an hour).
Easy apple and red onion stuffing
(serves 4-6, double up as necessary):
1 tbsp butter
1 red onion, finely chopped
1 dessert apple, grated (don’t bother to peel)
225g pork sausage meat
100g fresh white breadcrumbs
1 tbsp fresh parsley, chopped
1 tbsp fresh sage, chopped
Squeeze of lemon juice
Heat the butter in a frying pan, add the onion and fry gently until soft. Add the apple and cook until softened. Remove from the heat, transfer to a bowl and allow to cool.
Stir the sausage meat and breadcrumbs into the onion mixture along with the herbs and lemon juice. Once well combined, squish it into a buttered oven-proof dish, cool and bung in the fridge. On the day, it’ll take about 25 minutes (obviously more if you double up).
Bringing it all together:
And that’s it. You’ve got the last half hour to fiddle with all your little extras. Add a tablespoon or two (depending on the amount) of plain flour to the pan juices in a saucepan and cook out before adding plenty of stock (you can never have enough gravy). For sprouts, I just blanch them for a few minutes while I’m frying some streaky bacon in a couple of tablespoons of oil, then toss them in with the bacon before serving. I also serve roast parsnips with honey and a ton of cranberry sauce, oh and peas for the fussy bugger who only likes peas *sigh*.
If it goes a bit wrong and something gets burned or forgotten, it’s not the end of the world. Enjoy the day, pour yourself a drink and remember it’s just dinner.
Slainte! xx
Ankle deep in diamonds
So like most of you, we’ve been covered by a liberal blanket of snow. Unusually, Dublin was hit pretty hard too, which meant that even if we could slither down to the bus stop in the -8 mornings, a lot of the time the buses weren’t even coming up from Dublin. This resulted in over a week off and some high jinks in the snow (this was before DWC’s hospital stay, obviously) when de brevren finally got to wear their skiing gear (purchased hopefully in the TK Maxx sale last year and as yet unused):
The camo snow-ninjas created an anatomically correct snowman as well:
But the best and most beautiful moments have been in the evening, when the moon has shone so brightly that I’ve had to check twice that the outside lights aren’t already on, and taking the dog out in the evening has been like walking ankle deep in diamonds, every step sending a sparkling spray in front of me. The sky here is really clear and it’s gorgeous standing outside in the glowy silence looking up and watching the odd shooting star streak across the sky.
Absolutely magical.
The Party Times’ Ten Tips for a Perfect Family Christmas
My lovely friend Lorraine runs the incredible website The Party Times. Here are her ten tips for a perfect family Christmas:
Christmas is a time when tiny lights shimmer in shop windows, gifts twinkle beneath the tree and the smell of decadent festive treats wafts from every home. Share the spirit of Christmas with family, friends or neighbours and enjoy a fun, festive and completely stress-free December with our top 10 Christmas tips
1. First impressions …
Welcome family and neighbours by lighting pathways with garden paper lanterns, LED light sticks and fairy lights wrapped round tree trunks or branches. Have guests met by a beautiful red berry wreath and windows decorated with ‘Ho ho ho’ stencils or stencils of snowmen, reindeers and Christmas trees using snow spray.
2. Sprucing up the tree …
A tree full of glistening lights and an array of colouful decorations heightens wonder and expectation around Christmas. Colourful fabric decorations and other beautiful pieces will stand out against dark green trees. Pick out timeless and unusual decorations with a nostalgic touch such as charming wooden decorations or for something unique, silver and red personalized baubles. Add a few edible chocolate treats and candy cane sticks; something the younger members of the family will love. Save any spare fir branches from the tree for napkin decorations or to add above the fireplace for a touch of nature. Look out for make your own angel kits or fabric heart decorations, a fun weekend activity to do with your children and a perfect creative accessory for the top of the tree.
3. ‘Tis the season to be baking …
Cookies and biscuits are great additions to a family Christmas and children will love helping you make them. Look out for christmas cookie cutter sets that come in a variety of shapes such as star, reindeer, snowflake or Christmas tree designs. Store your baked treats in tins and hand them out to friends who drop by, served with a steaming mug of hot chocolate. Hang biscuits on the tree by piercing a hole and threading pretty ribbons through them or wrap them in cellophane, tie with curling ribbon and hand them out as end of term gifts.
Other wonderful festive treats include Christmas popcorn (caramelized and dusted with cinnamon) chocolate snowball truffles (coated in desiccated coconut) or chunks of gooey marshmallow-filled rocky road. Hand these out as end of term gifts or to family members, sealed in festive christmas party boxes.
4. A gingerbread house …
Create a Scandinavian fairytale gingerbread house, good enough to eat. Not only will it look and smell appealing, it will bring out the child inside of everyone. Get your children to help build and decorate it with you and you can put it in a windowsill lit up or use it as a table centerpiece, adorned with hundreds of sweets!
5. All dressed up …
Christmas themed tablecloths do all the ‘dressing’ aspect for you, there’s so much colour in the print you just need to add a centerpiece to give it some dimension such as vintage santa themed tableware. But if you’re opting for a more traditional table setting with plain red partyware, greens and whites then choose decorative cotten napkins, fun placemats and novelty place card holders. Fill bowls with colourful treats such as candy cane, peppermints and other shiny wrapped treats (Roses or Quality Streets).
Alternatively festive baubles in vases or cardboard cut-out reindeer centrepieces or sleigh and reindeers or Christmas trees. You can then arrange candles and nightlights at differing heights to create a dramatic and cosy atmosphere. Red crystal gemsand festive confetti scattered in blank spaces on the table will glisten and catch the light, evoking a sense of enchantment. And don’t forget party poppers, chocolates and make-your-own party crackers – a few essentials that make a big difference.
6. Winter brews …
Hot chocolate ganache sticks stirred into mugs of warm milk are wonderful seasonal treats for the family. Then top your steamy brews with frothy cream or mini marshmallows – heaven on a cold wintry night. Yet nothing fills a house with festive aroma faster than mulled apple simmering on top of the stove. Children will love drinking this too (without the alcohol) and can help prepare the apples, studding them with cloves.
7. A flicker of an idea …
At this time of year everything seems to gleam so fill your house with lots of tiny lights such as green christmas fairy lights. Fairy lights play an essential part and can be draped from beams, twisted round staircases and hung around door frames for a winter sparkle. Rustic rattan reindeers nestled in a corner and wrapped with fairy lights look stunning and magical.Light your Yule log or homemade cupcakes with angel flames – candles with a party piece of their own! When lit their flames burn red, blue and green creating a magical effect that children will go crazy about!
Tie white LED illoom balloons (filled with helium) onto the backs of chairs using curling ribbon or tie them in clusters around the room.
8. Shop online …
Make life easy and buy your children’s Christmas present online which will eliminate aimless shopping trips and mean you won’t have troubles trying to hide their gifts whilst you’re out shopping with them. Write a gift list and a budget before you shop online, otherwise you can get carried away.
9. Wrap, tie & tag …
Try to wrap all your gifts as far in advance as possible, this will make you feel more organized. Look out for Christmas tissue paper, perfect for wrapping stocking-fillers and use some red curling ribbon for a special touch. You can add ribbons, tags and bows later on, but label with sticky notes so you don’t forget what’s what. Chic satin ribbon can add colour to the simplest wrapping paper and can be used to tie around napkins or to hang decorations. Run out of gift tags? Cut up old Christmas cards into gift-size tags and use them instead.
10. Don’t leave it to the last minute …
Brainstorm all the jobs you need to do in preparation for Christmas and put it up on your pinboard at home. Mark off the jobs as you do them and give yourself an extra day to get everything done. Think what food you can prepare in advance, (things like sauces, brandy butter etc), what you can freeze and try to avoid the supermarkets during the weekday evening rush and at weekends. It’s always useful to update your address book, in preparation for sending out Christmas cards. You could always get your computer-savvy child to help you type out all the addresses to avoid having to use your scribbled out address book.
A few special touches …
Buy a few small things that will make your Christmas celebrations extra special. Things like edible green glitter trees will add sparkle and shimmer to cupcakes, biscuits and festive popcorn and children will love the magical element it brings. A pack of sky lanterns and a giant Christmas musical cracker game or snowball splatter game hidden away and brought out on Christmas day will add a special touch and if you don’t use them they’ll be perfect for New Year parties too. Shaped sugar lumps in fun festive shapes such as mistletoe, fir branch and pinecone are thoughtful additions for after-dinner coffee and guests will love them (visit Cox & Cox).
Last but not least …
Fill gorgeous mini fabric party cones with little surprises as going home gifts (they work well as a room decoration too) and can be kept to keep little gifts such as jewellery and toys inside. Hang the party cones between two fixtures or above the fireplace. Can also be saved and used year after year.
Gifts for magnificent mums and delectable dads. The Christmas Countdown Gift Guide
FOR THE MUMS
Red Magazine is my favouritest magazine ever. The best food, the best fashion and the nicest editor (follow her on Twitter at @SamatRedMag). If you subscribe now, you can get 6 issues for just £9.99 plus a really nice Elemis freebie. Grab it for yourself AND buy your Mum a subscription!
Red has a fabulous new website too! Check it out at redonline.co.uk – there’s beauty, recipes, fashion, news and tons more – it’s like a whole other magazine on the web:
All for Eve is a great beauty brand where 100% of net profits are donated to the Eve Appeal that funds research into gynaecological cancers. There is currently a capsule collection of 8 fantastic products (the awesome red lipstick was created by make up artist Daniel Sandler). Great quality, and what a fab cause too. Available in loads of stores (including Harrods dahling). Check online for stockists.
Carol Savage, the Dragon’s Den ‘alumnus” and founder of recipe website MyDish.co.uk has launched lovely personalised recipe calendars for Christmas this year. You can either source and upload a favourite recipe or alternatively add your own recipes and photos:
The calendar costs £15.00 and £5.00 from every calendar donated to Great Ormond Street Hospital.
Brown and Harris have some beautiful and very on-trend old-fashioned English toiletries which would make lovely gifts. They have some gorgeous gift-sets as well as individual products – I keep an enormous tube of the lavender conditioning hand and nail cream on my desk which smells absolutely delicious (lavender’s not just for grannies you know!). The perfumed wardrobe and drawer sachets are gorgeously vintage and make really sweet stocking fillers too. Available online from their website, and from Amazon, plus other stockists.
Talking of smellies, if your mum is a lover of scented candles (aren’t we all?) look no further than the gorgeously scented Spa Paradisa candles. The packaging is wonderfully retro and I thought the scents were utterly delicious. Available at next.co.uk and Debenhams too.
And let’s not forget mums to be in our little line up. I can heartily recommend the delightfully girly Mum to Be Pamper Me gift set, which includes bath soak, tummy cream and a vanilla scented candle:
They also do a really lovely Little Me Organics lavender-scented gift set for mum and baby. Lovely new mum Denise Van Outen is a big fan of the range.
Last but not least, if you can count booze as stocking fillers, I’d heartily recommend Martini’s range of festive fizz:
MARTINI Asti DOCG (7.5% ABV, £6.28 at Tesco). This is the original Asti taste that I remember from many Christmases past, and although a tad sweet for some palates, it makes for a lovely cocktail when mixed with plenty of fresh lime (a tip I learned from the lovely Nigella).
MARTINI Prosecco DOC (11.5% ABV). Prosecco is well trendy this Christmas and this one, with hints of apple and peach, is gorgeous.
MARTINI Cuvée Speciale Rosé (8% ABV). I love rosé – not only because of the colour! This is the perfect party wine – and has only 75 kcal for a 125ml serving!
The Prosecco and Rose is £6.00 in Asda on spesh at the moment.
Chin chin!
FOR THE DADS
First of all, I must recommend 1001 Beers You Must Try Before You Die
Still on the subject of beer, here are two fine beers born out of a collaboration between Rick Stein and Sharp’s Brewery. Chalky’s Bark has subtle hints of ginger, a perfect match for spicy food, whilst Chalky’s Bite has notes of fennel which goes great with any seafood. If your dad’s a real foodie, you’ll seriously be in his good books. Chalky’s Bark & Chalky’s Bite are both available in cases of 12 bottles at £24, from Majestic stores or www.sharpsbrewery.co.uk
No Dad’s stocking should be complete without this fabulous tin of yummy Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls mint balls. The newly designed tin costs just £3.27 and with 100% natural ingredients, these famous mint balls are suitable for vegetarians, vegans and are gluten-free too. http://www.uncle-joes.com
The brand new Black and Decker 14.4v Autoselect® Lithium Ion Hammer Drill is out now(oh come on, you know every Dad secretly wants a drill even if they don’t ever use one).
Radox have got some fabulous gift sets out at the moment. Available nationwide from Boots and all good chemists – one of these sets would make a great stocking stuffer for any dad.
If you’re going to go the trad route and give socks (the hubby insists on it every year), Jeep have got some really trendy ones. We (well, not me) tried out the Luxury Terrain ones, and they’re a cut above your normal stocking filler. Available at the usual outlets priced £7.99.
This gorgeous Mont Blanc Special Edition John Lennon pen is a snip at £585.00 (ahaha), but there are pens for every budget that would make a great pressie for any office-bound brother or crossword-loving dad. Check out thepenshop.co.uk for loads of choice. There are tons of Filofaxes in every colour too.
The Powermat is an awesome pressie if your man has an iPhone 3 or 4. We tried it out and it’s really good. Once fitted with the special case, you can just pop the phone straight onto the mat and it charges it straight away. It works for Blackberries/DSi/PSPs and loads more as well. A word of warning though, if you’ve got a ‘normal’ phone (I’ve got a Nokia 5800), you can’t use it. There are some extra attachments, but they’re mostly USB based.
The Friday photo: spot the Ninja
The Ninja Cat of Death, when not entertaining herself by ‘poofing’ into a large and slightly spiky cloud shape to terrify the dog, or eating the dog’s dinner while poor Millie sits, quietly gibbering in terror, nearby, really likes the snow.
I think it appeals to her inner ninjaness to be able to step out into the garden and then disappear. But then she totally ruins it be leaping about like an idiot for ten minutes, getting cold, and appearing at the window making silent ‘MAOW!’ noises (roughly translated: ‘let me in, you gits’) while we sit, all warm and comfy, and laugh at her.
Well, the dog’s got to get her own back sometime, right?
Frugal foodie Christmas gift hunting from the Presents Queen
My lovely friend, The Presents Queen, runs the wondrous website thefoodiegifthunter.co.uk and as such is an expert on everything present-like. This year, she’s offered to give us a run-down on a more frugal Christmas – with tips and tricks that’ll save us pennies (and cents) before the big day. Bring it on, Queenie!
I don’t think it matters which side of the Irish Sea you are, or which side of the border, this year is feeling tight for pretty much most people. And when it’s all this bleak, you really need something like Christmas to cheer things up. But how to do it without breaking the bank (and no jokes about them doing a good enough job themselves, please)?
Well, actually on the food front, there is plenty you can do that will look and taste good, and be a joy to receive, but also allow you and the family to eat in January. Here’s a few ideas to hopefully ease the financial strain but still keep you on speaking terms with loved ones!
* Make things to eat and make them look great. Of course, taste is paramount but it’s so much easier now to make things look great as well. Try places like Lakeland for bags and boxes, or collect interesting tins throughout the year to put in homemade cookies or cakes. Cake decorating stores offer a great many options on sprinkles, sparkles and decorations that would just bring homemade chocolates up a notch or two.
*Track down unexpected sources of reasonably priced gifts. It can be a bit hit and miss but my local TK Maxx often has decent olive oil, tea and coffee gifts, all at heavily discounted prices. My other favourite foodie gift hunting ground is my local Indian or Chinese supermarkets, which are great for spices and sauces not to mention authentic kitchen equipment, all at a fraction of prices that they appear in the mainstream supermarkets.
* Make up kits for people to make their own goodies later. Like on Boxing Day when no one has any idea what to do now. I wrote over on The Foodie Gift Hunter earlier this year about making ready to go flavoured rice puddings in a bag, but you could also do things like cookies in a jar, risottos or pilaf, even different breads. Google it, you’ll find lots of recipes to inspire you. Make the containers you put the contents in interesting, and then write out the recipe to attach to it. Or video it, post it to YouTube, and really bring it to life. Or give them a good laugh!
* Barter with friends who make stuff you don’t. Maybe you’ve given away jars of your homemade jam before. Can you swap with a friend who makes great homemade pickles or something like sloe gin? Our honey is in short supply this year as it’s our first year with the hive, but I can imagine trading that in future with a friend making their own apple juice and cider, and then gifting that on.
* Look for vintage equipment and tableware. Of course you could do eBay but also try local charity shops, jumble sales, bring and buys, the lot. I am really wishing I had bought champagne saucers in a charity shop recently, perfect for a glamour injection in these austere times. I’d also be looking out for things like jelly moulds, serving plates, cake displays or unusual things that you’re not sure what job they did around the kitchen!
* Buy other people’s homemade stuff. WI Markets or school fetes are all rich hunting grounds for any of the above but without the time in the kitchen. If you can’t face getting out and about, then try Etsy for interesting stuff delivered straight to the door.
* Gift your time. Give them a gift certificate for you cooking them dinner, delivering a cake a month, a loaf of bread per week…whatever you’re great at. And if you can’t cook, and they can, then offer yourself up as chief potwasher and potato peeler. Being generous with your time is almost more precious than being generous with your cash.
Hopefully you’re feeling inspired to save cash but not to scrimp on great gift giving! Have a great Christmas, and a January that is more in the black than red!
Terrific gifts for teenagers. The Christmas Countdown Gift Guide
FOR THE BOYS
Spy Games, Europe’s leading espionage themed events company, has this AMAZING Spy Academy Gift Experience which is perfect for anyone who has ever dreamed of becoming the next James Bond (and let’s face it – who hasn’t?). This press release got de brevren hanging over my shoulder checking out the pics. Not only do you get to be trained to become an agent and perform a 3 hour spy operation, but you also get to receive training in essential spy equipment, like bugs and hidden cameras, and *cue the sound of teenagers fainting* you receive training on how to use a pistol and get to fire machine guns!! More info from: www.spy-games.com. Tel: +44 (0)845 1303 007
Gadget Glamour have got a great range of iPad and iPhone skins. They look amazing and make great stocking fillers. The skins cost from £10.00. Check out www.gadgetglamour.co.uk for more info.
Roadkill Toys are an absolutely awesome teenage twist on the soft toy and will certainly be taking pride of place in stockings at English Towers this year (shhh don’t tell). There are three toys; Twitch the Racoon, Grind the Rabbit and Splodge the Hedgehog, which literally look like they’ve been squished – plush guts and all! Each comes in its very own body bag and with an identity tag. £25.00. Check out www.roadkilltoys.com
Nike’s new CR Mercurial Vapor SuperFly II boot has been launched just in time for Christmas. Looking spectacular in a wrap-around updated version of the Nike Safari print first introduced on the Air Safari running shoe in 1987, and bearing the signature of none other than Christiano Ronaldo, each pair also comes with a special code to unlock training tips on the website. Stocked exclusively in Ireland at Lifestyle Sports. Wowzers.
My teens are (secretly) obsessed with grooming products and this Bulldog EcoSystem Moisturiser not only looks funky, but is fair trade too. To buy this and loads more fabulous eco/organic/natural/fairtrade type skin and hair care products, visit biggreensmile.com. It smells fabulous (and suitably manly) too.
Don’t forget that the amazing X Box Kinect is now out. Earlier this year we travelled to Gamescom 2010 in Cologne to try out the system and some of the games. Our favourites? Kinectimals (for the cute animals – and yes, even my boys liked it!), Kinect Sports and the fabulous Dance Central.
Check out MoreTvicar for amazing retro T shirts (oh and if you’ve got teeny tinies, check out the ‘love’ and ‘hate’ baby mittens as well. Beyond cute!
If, like me, you often have ‘extras’ staying overnight, often at short notice, this is a godsend. The Aerobed Active fully inflates in less than 60 seconds (it’s got a detachable pump that can also be used cordless or from a vehicle), can be used outside and is tested to 295kg which should withstand even the most ridiculous teenage wrestling shenanigans. Sadly the one we tried had an European two-pin plug on so we had to bring the car up to the house and inflate it via the cigarette lighter while several teenage boys held it up to the window (the bed, not the car). But hey, it worked.
Priced from £59.99 for a single. For more info and stockists see: aerobed.co.uk Ooh, and don’t forget the lovely John Lewis for all your stocking fillers too. Our favourites were the yoyos, slinkies and the good old potato gun.
FOR THE GIRLIES
Gorgeous undies and cute tops at mili b – this lovely website is run by a friend of my lubly mate Jane. Highly recommended (they do stuff for adults and kids too):
Fearne and Holly -The Best Friends’ Guide to Life
Green People have some fabulous gift boxes on their website, greenpeople.co.uk including this cute ‘Teen Angel‘ one (£22.99) containing a really nice quality Cleanse and Moisturise (50ml) with willow bark, green tea & mandarin, plus a volumising mascara. All the ingredients are organic, 100% vegetarian and 100% cruelty free and 10% of their net profit is donated to organic and environmental charities. What’s not to love? 
Celebrity Stylist Phil Smith’s gorgeous gift sets, available in Brunette and Blonde – just £5.00 each exclusively at Sainsbury’s make lovely little gifts: 
If you’re being nagged about a puppy and it’s just not the right time, maybe you could adopt one instead? Purina PetCare is supporting Canine Partners – a charity which specially trains dogs to assist people with disabilities. This is the gorgeous Ruben, who is already in training:
Adopt a dog for as little as £1.00 a week and you could make a fabulous difference to someone’s life too.
Tweezers with Attitude are cute little cartoon tweezers which make great stocking fillers – surprisingly good quality, my fave is the ‘Carrie’, but there’s lots to choose from – even a ‘Posh’ if you’re that way inclined! They’re available from Victoria Health and loads of good pharmacies and gift shops priced just £2.99 
FrontCover cosmetics make some really gorgeous gift sets. Their ‘FrontCover To Go’ kit, which contains 20 removeable eyeshadows, a limited edition compact so you can take four of the shades with you, plus shadowline (which cleverly turns shadow into eyeliner), applicators and expert instructions is absolutely great quality. Check out www.frontcovercosmetics.com – Frontcover is on sale at selected Boots stores and on Boots.com.
The Homemade Company have gorgeous sets. Check out the lovely ‘make your own lip balm’ kits which make lovely presents.
Previously Virgin VIE, VIE at Home still offers lovely high quality toiletries and cosmetics. Tthe Moisturising Body Butter Duo (£15.00), is beautifully packaged and would make a lovely gift. The Honey and Almond Body Butter is lovely and light and smells utterly delicious. Available online from www.vieathome.com
Friends of my buddy Kerry, the lovely Jo and Al make fantastic upcycled jewellery. Their Scrabble pendant line is made from actual board game pieces and this week they launched their limited edition range of amazing gold plated Scrabble pendants. These extra special Scrabble tiles are part of a super bling version of the ordinary Scrabble game. Each gold plated tile pendant comes with a gold plated chain and is priced at £45. The traditional Scrabble tile version with silver plated chains are still available at £8 and make perfect stocking fillers. You can find more information here: http://scrabblependants.blogspot.com/
And especially for you they’ve got one of the original Scrabble pendants to give away. Just email me via the contact form at the top of the page with SCRABBLE in the title and tell me the letter you would like, along with your name and address. UK only entries please. Competition closes one week today!
Hospitals, family jewels, yoga mats and exit holes
So it’s been a funny old week. Scrap that, it’s been an exhausting, terrifying week.
Tuesday morning, with school cancelled and the snow still deep outside, we were just pottering about. All of a sudden there was the most awful, blood-curdling yell. I rushed to the kitchen to find the Death Wish Child in agony, on all fours on the kitchen floor. He was clutching his groin (I’ve never said ‘testicles’ so many times in one week) and rolling around. My initial reaction, knowing de brevren, was a bout of some form of wrestling that had gone wrong, but when the Mad Professor ran in behind me, I realised this was far worse.
My heart in my mouth, I helped him to the car and we rushed to the doctor, who took one look and sent us straight up to the hospital. The trip up to Cavan is a good half hour drive, and with the snow still on the ground, it was a treacherous trip.
The hospital staff were absolutely brilliant – they got him straight in and he’d seen a surgeon within half an hour of arriving and was getting a scan within an hour. Ominously, they found a 1cm lump in the tube (tube? I don’t know the technical terms) leading to his right testicle. Shocked and panicking, I phoned his Dad, who arranged to fly back in to the country as the poor lad was admitted to a ward.
The first night was awful. DWC was in agony and I was given a ‘bed’ so I could sleep next to him. This ‘bed’ was some sort of yoga mat effort, but it seemed churlish to complain. We slept fitfully, me reaching up to hold his hand, while a teenage girl in the next bed moaned and groaned ALL night (‘God, it sounds like a porno’, he whispered to me at one stage.) I laughed, and then laid awake some more alternately worrying – my mind running away on terrible worst case scenarios – and trying to work out how my 12 year old knew what a porno sounded like. My Mum always says that everyone’s religious in a crisis, and I must admit to saying a few silent prayers.
The next day things were worse, and despite morphine, by the evening it was clear that things were going downhill. The surgeon came to see him and decided to operate. Straight away.
Midnight saw me walking beside his trolley down to the theatre. I was so proud of him, laughing and joking with the nurses despite being in pain.
The worst thing by far was watching him go under the anaesthetic – my youngest baby, floppy and unconscious. Awful.
And of course, with all this going on, the poor Mad Professor was at home on his own – looking after the dog (well sort of – ‘have you fed the dog?’, ‘yes, I gave her half my pizza’) and sleeping in an empty house for the first time in his life.
My friends, as always, were amazing. Lovely Erica even texting from her holiday in Lapland. D next door was fabulous – he drove up, bringing the Mad Professor to see his bro, sorted out a bag of clothes and stuff for us (we’d got to the hospital in the clothes we stood up in) and kept popping in to see if he was alright at home.
Back from the theatre, my poor little dude was in agony – I think this was the worst time, but with morphine he finally slept, and woke to find his very worried Dad (and the wonderful YTPR, Rev Craig), by his side. Amazingly, the news from the surgeon was good: the lump was just a cyst that had adhered to the tube and then twisted, causing the pain. With the cyst removed, there was nothing more to do than get better. What a relief.
And so now he’s home, directing the decoration of the Christmas tree from his throne of pillows on the sofa, and although sore, he’s recovering well. I know we’re incredibly lucky, and this is mainly thanks to a great doctor and fabulous hospital staff.
Funniest moments (you knew there’d be some):
- The Mad Professor asking the Death Wish Child if he’d had to have any ‘surrogatives’ (he meant suppositories).
- The DWC’s reply ‘nope, my exit hole will always stay exit-only’.
- A sudden light moment during his agony when he yelled ‘OW, MY BOLLOCKS!’ (I didn’t tell him off, I was too busy laughing)
- Mad Uncle A’s worried text ‘oy sis, hope the ugly bloke’s balls are ok’
Happily, I can report that yes, the ugly bloke’s balls are going to be just fine.
