That ‘special’ cuddle
Oh lord. Oh lordy lord.
I’ll warn you now, this is going to be one of those ‘too much information’ posts to which I am especially prone. But I need advice, so I’m going to have to overshare. Brace yourself.
Last night, the husband and I retired to our ‘boudoir’ (yes, the £99 Ebay bed is holding up, thank you for asking) and erm… well… y’know, we… erm… had a ‘special cuddle’ (this is the name I used when my children enquired about what Mummies and Daddies do to make babies.
Later, I popped to the bathroom (I know, I know – oversharing again). As I was sitting on the throne with the door open (listen, we’ve been married 15 years – there are no secrets), I noticed something. Reader, I went cold.
#1′s bedroom light was on.
Oh good grief.
As I sat, horror-struck, debating whether I should pop my head round the door and enquire if he’d heard his parents engaging in a little bedroom gymnastics if everything was okay, the light suddenly went off again.
Well. I scurried back to bed and whispered urgently that we might have been rumbled. Sadly, all I got in response was a little snuffly snore-like sound. Damn. I slept fitfully. My dreams invaded by pictures of small boys holding up little signs with scores on them: 5.5, 5.9, 5.4…
And then this morning, in response to my breezy ‘good morning!’, I swear I detected a hint of embarrassment amongst the usual looming clouds of deodorant and teenage mutterings that accompany a 7am start.
Oh god. Did he hear? Should I enquire? HOW does one enquire? ‘Darling? Anything keep you awake last night particularly?’, or maybe ‘sweetheart, you know that chat we had when you were in junior school about the facts of life…’
I put a quick text in to the other half: ‘oh god, I think he heard us. Kill me now’.
But it was the reply that really killed me:
‘Just hope he didn’t record us and isn’t currently entertaining his mates with his new ringtone’.
Argggghhhhhhhhhhh!
71 Responses to “That ‘special’ cuddle”
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Seriously – unless you were screaming like a banshee or swinging from the lightbulb, I don’t think he’ll care too much. He’s probably mortified but he’ll live.
You, on the other hand…
Does amuse me that I would probably react in exactly the same way as your husband – not bothered, with a hint of smirky humour.
Although my missus would probably then refuse to engage in any “gymnastics” with the child in the house for a couple of months, which would serve me right.
Although I think that if he was able to hear you he’d of put some music on, burried his head somewhere,ripped his ears off or something similar so you shouldn’t worry too much. x
And stop giggling. I can see you.
as for the recording of u well if he was as mortified as u think then his mind wouldnt of been able to compute tht idea… tho I dont know about the nxt time!! sorry not much help !!
I am in a new relationship … ermmm sooo well no finer way of putting this ..hehe we are “special cuddling” alot!!!
my 13yr old often says “ooo i heard them sounds again” … I look at him blankly trying to keep the face turning a lovely shade of tomato!!! he then has to continue “yep them dirty sounds” then he laughs!
I have tried acting like i dont know what he is on about!
I have tried the explaining tht there is nothing dirty or unusual about it.
But now I have just come to the conclusion tht he just wants to get a reaction from me … so I ignore it and either laugh it off (all be it a nervous 1) or just change the subject !!
Up to now im not aware of any recordings on his phone …lol tho i will b checking it later and believe me he is the type to record an publish lol the little darling!!!
I find just being open in a minimalistic (is tht even a word?lol) way is the best policy.
Unless he brings it up I wouldnt mention it.. However if he is acting like not his usaul self,then a little talk is needed preferably by both of u or his dad. If Dad does it, he can throw in how much he loves u his wife and special cuddles keep that love strong and it is very normal in a good strong marriage/relationship.
bet u feel better now !!!!
Even if they did hear anything at all (which is most likely not that much), I think your children would much rather hear you “cuddling” and know that you and hubby are happy together, than listening to shouting matches or worse.
Try to forget about it if you can. For your own peace of mind.
x x
I’ll let you know.
Bad Maxi.
I, too, will share my hubs and my “oh lordy” situation. We were having our “special cuddle” (which btw, I love how you call it that!), when he felt a little hand on his foot. It was our, at that time, 4 year old daughter, wanting to know what was wrong. After our hearts started to beat again, I got her back to bed, and thankfully, she remembered none of it in the morning
.
Oh,and welcome – nice to ‘meet’ you! x
Think you should be more embarrassed about calling it ‘special cuddles’ . . .
True story – a friend of mine once heard a young child shout this in a packed supermarket
“If you don’t buy me some sweets I am going to tell everyone what you do to dad’s willy!!”
Okay, NOW I’m afraid! :O
Really!!
And I shouldn’t share this but the husbag used to hear his extremely religious parents “at it” before we moved in together! I have been known to do an impression or 2 of the “religious ones” after a drink or 9…….tee hee
He’s probably heard you before, it’s just this time you’re aware of his awareness.
I still can’t get over Laura’s comment on Twitter: ‘do you howl like dog?’
Mortified! xx
Dreading Kai walking in. Which of course he will.
Though will have to remember the ‘special cuddles’ explanation. That is, if I can keep a straight face while saying it…
Brilliant!
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