Chickenmum.com
So we’ve been away for a few days. And after disgracing himself by chewing on the house last time we went away, Bert was banished to the kennels (still no luck on the new home front) and Little C from next door was given chicken sitting duties in exchange for a small financial reward.
On our return, Little C looked a little worried: ‘I think I lost one’, he said. Apparently the poor little sod had been hunting high and low in the torrential rain for Minnie the Moocher, sending the rest of his family out into the field to search for her, but all had returned empty handed.
‘Meh’, I said, knowing her penchant for roosting in ridiculous places, ’she’ll be around somewhere’. Well, dearest reader, we scoured and hunted, searched and… lots of other words that mean ‘to look for’, but she was nowhere to be seen. I was beginning to worry, I mean, she’s usually in the kitchen hoovering up the crumbs:
… or sitting on the office windowsill giving me a good telling off when I’m late feeding them, and this was unusual.
I did wonder whether she’d been birdnapped by the particularly evil-looking gang of pheasants that are currently inhabiting the field, but no, I spotted them out of #2′s window (sorry about the photo, but they were a long way away), and no Minnie:
And then #2 rushed, breathless, to the back door: ‘Ive found her!’. Long story short, she’d taken up residence underneath the beech hedge (you can see it in the bottom of the pic above – plenty of places to hide), but – strangely – she wasn’t at all pleased to see him. In fact, she burbled at him in a rather aggressive manner and looked all squashed flat and peculiar. We decided to investigate. And this is what we found:
Poor Minnie is broody. I feel so sorry for her. She’d made herself a little nest, and was happily sitting on a large amount of eggs: 17 in fact, although the white ones aren’t even hers, they’re Chilli’s (don’t know how she managed that).
I had to explain to #2 that of course they won’t ever hatch because we don’t have a cockerel to fertilise them, but that Minnie doesn’t understand that and thinks she’s keeping a future generation warm under her feathery bum.
‘Aw, poor Minnie’, said #2 as we took the reluctant Mama back to the coop and picked up all the eggs, ”I almost wish we could get her a boyfriend so she could have some real babies’.
Five minutes later, though, she’d escaped the coop and was back in her little nest, presumably hard at work producing the next 17. So the question is: who’s going to have the ‘birds and the bees’ chat with her? Hands up, now…
32 Responses to “Chickenmum.com”
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I’ve a new plugin that turns the text into chicken language, so you won’t even have to be there to translate.
Either that, or just give me an hour in a room alone with them. I haven’t choked a chicken in ages.
I was just going to suggest sending her to a chicken stud farm so she could get her rocks off and then lay some eggs.
A chicken one night stand if you will.
Ahahahahahaha hah ha.
BTW, did you know that I have been defending your honour (well, your recipes, actually). That fat fingered brother of mine is spreading the rumour that your recipes are scummy. Not very nice of him, is it?
they have an email add to send questions to : chickenquestions@gmail.com
I would be really tempted to buy her some fertile eggs (you can get half a dozen on ebay) cos she sounds like a good determined brooder! lol
Great post. Plan to stop by again!
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