If you can’t say anything nice…
I’m not a Boyzone fan. I mean, yes, I probably bought at least one of their CDs first time round, could sing along to the majority of their songs, but a fan? Nah.
I did, however, shed real tears over the death of Stephen Gately. Not as a fan, but as a human being who can see the tragedy in the loss of a 33 year old man, hear the moving tributes from his friends and bandmates, imagine as a parent how hard and confusing it must be to lose your grown up son, and witness the extraordinary scenes in Dublin today as he was buried.
Another thing I found hard to accept was the article by Jan Moir in the Daily Mail, originally entitled ‘Why there was nothing ‘natural’ about Stephen Gately’s death’. I’m not going to deconstruct it, as others have done it better than I could ever do, although even with my ‘O’ level English I can see that it was poorly constructed and sensationalist at best and innacurate and homophobic at worst. Being a keen Twitterer (Tweeter?) I gathered that several (thousand) other people felt the same. The Press Complaints Commission website crashed under the pressure. Did Jan Moir apologise? Well no, not really. She kind of made noises that the ‘heavily orchestrated internet campaign’ against her was ‘mischievous’ to suggest homophobic undertones to her piece..blah..blah and continued to stir her big wooden spoon by adding another snipe about how Gately and his husband were ‘intimate’ with the visitor in their apartment that night – as if that’s anything to do with, well, anything.
I just can’t understand it. Why would anyone write (and print) such an article? Didn’t Jan Moir’s mum teach her any respect? It’s wrong to speak ill of the dead. If I could have five minutes with Jan Moir, I’d ask her the following:
How do you think Stephen’s parents and friends felt when they read in your article that his death was ‘sleazy‘, that he could ‘barely carry a tune in a Louis Vuitton trunk’? How do you think his Mum felt when you ridiculed her for believing that Stephen’s death was linked to a previously undetected heart condition? How do you think they took your speculation that ‘The sugar coating on this fatality is so saccharine-thick that it obscures whatever bitter truth lies beneath‘? How do you think they felt reading your obviously scientifically based claim that ‘healthy and fit 33-year-old men do not just climb into their pyjamas and go to sleep on the sofa, never to wake up again‘?
Horrible. Horrible, vile, unkind, unecessary and, frankly, spiteful.
I read somewhere about the Voltaire quote: ‘I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it’. Some might say that Ms Moir’s entitled to her opinion, that anything less would be a blow to free speech. I’m sorry. I don’t agree. It’s basic human kindness that we’re calling for here. Would she stand up at the funeral, in front of Stephen’s friends and family, and read that article? Of course she wouldn’t. She’s not only a bully, she’s a coward too.
My Mum always taught me that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Pity Jan Moir’s mum didn’t teach her the same thing.
37 Responses to “If you can’t say anything nice…”
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I will never understand why the press is always so eager to find sleaze in the deepest of human tragedy for the sake of greed. Dispicable.
It astounds me that people are always so quick to jump on a conspiracy theory. Tragedies happen can happen to anyone, regardless of fame, money and sexuality. And, these factors should not mean that that tragedy is some how flawed and tainted. Anyone can die tragically die young. Stephen Gately, rest his soul, is one of many.
I suspect Jan Moir is revelling in the attention. She is now infamous and as they say, all press is good press.
I’d like to write more but the whole thing makes me angry.
x
Not to wish it on her, but should she ever find herself standing amidst the devastation that the untimely death of a young brother, son, partner causes; I hope her current actions pass her mind – just for a second.
Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam.
I totally agree, Jen. There’s a total lack of empathy. There but for the grace of God go any one of us… x
I agree completely!! Scandalous article and shame on the daily mail for printing it! But it’s nothing new that their journalism is shoddy at best with facts continuously incorrect!!!!
I just keep wondering what kind of a person could write such a thing about someone she doesn’t know on the day before he was buried. Astonishing.
For someone who was supposedly talentless he was a busy guy! He played the childcatcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang too.
I am too old to be a ‘fan’ but my (older) neighbour and I sat here yesterday afternoon and shed a tear for this poor young man and his family and friends.
How would people feel if it was their dead husband, brother, or son being disrespected.
I’ve always been a fan, although it was a secret until the reunion then it was more than obvious I was a bit insane. I’m glad that they are gonna stay together but it won’t be the same.
The funeral was so sad, I was in bits, seeing his husband so heart broken and my poor lover Ronan Keating… I was in bits. You could honestly tell from what everyone said that he was such a nice caring genuine guy.