In which YTPV comes to tea and becomes the YTPR
So you’ll remember a while back I ranted on about our planned blessing and how I couldn’t understand why it was all so complicated. Why can’t you just have a big pretty church-like place to celebrate happy family stuff in, headed by some guy who stands at the front and who everybody listens to, without actually having to say you believe in something that you don’t, I said.
You’ll also remember that the Young Trendy Protestant Vicar (YTPV) popped in to see Hubby while I was away: Hubby made noises to the effect that he might not actually be a regular church goer, and Young Trendy Vicar made noises back to the effect that if he didn’t see us in church we could wave goodbye to a pretty little stone-churched blessing, I said.
Yes? Thought so. Anyhoo, it came to pass that the YTPV read my blog post. He emailed me, I emailed back, and we ended up having a quite decent chat about stuff. He took exception to what I’d said and thought that Hubby had got the wrong end of the stick (I did only say ‘made noises to the effect…’), that he’d never insist on anyone atttending regularly, that it was a personal thing. He also took exception to being lumped in with my rather dim view of the church (mainly, I have to say, due to our seriously unfriendly and unhelpful Catholic Priest).
Anyhoo, yesterday saw us having a rather torrid day. We had one of those lovely husbandy/wifely rows that pretty much lasts all day, interspersed with small bouts of sulking. I was upstairs reading a book sulking when the doorbell rang. #2 arrived to announce that the Vicar was at the door. It was one of those moments when you have to kind of suspend your row, like when one of the kids comes in, and pretend that you’re getting along great, whilst simultaneously shooting each other ‘I want to kill you’ glares. Fun and games.
So the Vicar, then. Actually, he pointed out that he’s a Rector, not a Vicar. I asked if I could still call him YTPV if I amended it to YTPR. He agreed with a wry smile. I remembered how much I liked him. And so we chatted. We chatted about religion, yes, but we also chatted about kids and schools and TV and marriage and commitment and blogging:
YTPR: ‘I’ve actually been inspired to start my own blog’
Me: ‘Great! Can I have the web address?’
YTPR: ‘No’
Me: ‘It’s okay, I’m wholesome, I’m sponsored by Disney and everything’
And do you know what? He listened. He listened when I said that I had trouble with the whole ‘believing in something I can’t see’ thing. He listened when I told him that church had always been a big part of my life, that I enjoyed going and that I found it comforting and familiar. He nodded when we talked about wanting our kids to grow up respecting others and living by the ideals encouraged by the church. He smiled when we talked about wanting to stand up, properly, in front of our family and friends in a traditional setting, and celebrate being married for 15 years. He listened when we said we had a silly thing about actually saying our vows to each other, as we didn’t do it first time round (the evil glares were starting to diminish now).
I told him about you, my lovely readers. How I liked the fact that you’re always honest with me. How Laurie said ‘erm, am I missing something? If you’re not religious, why do you want to get married in a church anyway?’ And how one of my most loyal and long-time commenters, Susan B, said kindly that ’of all the people I know, you and your family actually LIVE the Christian ideal of open heartedness, generosity and love, as opposed to paying it lip service every Sunday’, which really touched me. And I’d tried to explain that although I’m not ‘religious’ per se, I love the little church here – me and Bert can often be found wandering through the graves or sitting in a sunny spot – it’s peaceful and beautiful and, yes, spiritual. We also told him about the non-religious options we’d looked into, and that they weren’t quite right for us.
I know I’m at risk of this post becoming very long, which I don’t like as I think people switch off if they arrive and see a huge blog post to tackle, but we had a good chat. I won’t say I’m any nearer to sorting out my complicated feelings about my – dare I say it – ‘faith’ or ‘spirituality’, but he assured us that we were welcome at the church at any time, whether it be Easter/Christmas/Weddings/Funerals/Christenings, or just every once in a while. And that if we wanted to consider a service of some kind in the church, then he would consider talking with us further, which I think was pretty nice, considering that my views are somewhat left of centre.
Oh, and I got his web address too. He talks about me here and even has a rant, which made me laugh.
31 Responses to “In which YTPV comes to tea and becomes the YTPR”
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The world has turned and there’s hope for us all!
Bless you!!! x
it already sounds like a lovely celebration.. go you!
I kind of sit on the fence with religion. I don’t really believe in it all but I happily send my children to a church school and am happy for them to go to Sunday school every so often. Tonight I’m taking them after school to a club at the church run by a friend where they will sing about god and dance.
Glad you’re on the right track with your blessing aswell!
I hope you sort it all out.
x
If you’re reading this, YTPR, I really AM sorry I referred to you as Rev Tight Buns. Really. If my Mum knew, she’d kick my 33 year old backside.
For penance, I’m giving myself 10 Our Fathers and a sincere talking to about typing without thinking.
Mwah!!
P.S. Loving the blog, BTW!
it’s really good that you had a chat with him and i like his blog. fair play to you for being so honest….i love that.
jennynib really really made me laugh, tight buns. lol
Glitter: Thanks. He was very open and encouraged us to do the same, so it was made rather easy for us, bless him.
Laura: We’re the same though. Poor old #2′s just had to sit to one side while the whole of his class had their holy communion celebrations. Although I think he was more peed off at the fact they all made wodges of cash, to be honest
Rach: It is, isn’t it. Very approachable and down to earth. He’s like that in person too. x
Jen: I’m sure he’s forgiven you for that. And I didn’t look at his buns to confirm or deny. Well you can’t really check out a Rector, can you, to be fair
Towny: I know, she’s a top girl. She constantly has me in stitches. And yes, we were saying last night that we’re really quite lucky – not many people would have read my blog and still come back to visit and talk about it. Nice chap.
DBM: I don’t think your posts are too long – I just read them in shifts, that’s all! You wait ’til you see the church, too. It’s just beautiful – nestled in a lovely green spot between fields of cows and backing onto my beloved boat road.
And about the God thing? I tried to explain how I felt about it and he said ‘sometimes it’s better not to try and explain it if you can’t find the words’, which I thought was very good advice. One of these days I’ll form into words how I feel… x
Very mature …
BTW – your blog wasn’t too long IMHO! Very well said.
BTW2 – how about some pictures of the church & environs? It sounds perfectly lovely!
Baino: Ah that’s funny. Still, it’s nice that you embrace all sorts (metaphorically speaking, natch) xx
Susan: You’re very welcome. Funnily enough, even the Rector said he had a bit of a problem with the word ‘religious’ and yes, I’ll sort out some pics of the church – you won’t believe how lovely it is xx
More importantly, have you a dress yet???!!!!
Jenn: Me too. And no, I haven’t! Panic? Me? Never! *gibber…gibber….*
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