In Florida and loving it!
Hello all, just a quick blog to say I’m having fun in Florida with my fellow bloggers. Taking loads of photos and looking forward to telling you all about it. I’m on LittleMummy.com’s laptop so better give it back now, but I’ll be back soon. Play nice til I get back! EM xxx
The Mad Professor’s birthday (thank God it’s only once a year)
“Are you awake? It’s my birthday! What did you get me? Can I open my stuff now? Wicked! Money! Cool! Look what I got from Grandma! Can we have pancakes? I’m starving. And look! From Grandad! Savage! Do I still have to go to guitar? Can I have a beer now I’m 14? Alright Grandad? I’m loaded! I’m gonna have a beer. Get off, stupid dog. When are you making my cake? Can I have it when I get back from guitar? Can we go shopping? Have you made my cake yet? Your dog’s gay. I’m ringing Grandma. Can we go shopping yet? Can I have a beer? I love these trousers! Thanks, I love you. Can we go yet? What? It’s itchy. When’s the Grand Prix over? Did you think any more about the beer? Is my cake done? Are we having steak? Where’s my hat? I’ve lost my hat! Who took my bloody hat? I need my… oh hang on, here it is. Aw cute puppy! Ooh this phone looks nice. Or this one. This one has a touch screen. Ooh, 8 gig memory! I think I’ll have this one. No, this one. Or maybe this one! Let’s look around a bit more. Gamestop! Savage! Ooh look, another phone shop! I like this one. ’Scuse me, you got this in blue? I’m getting this definitely. Can I have a beer tonight then? Can we get chips? I’m starving. Deadly! Ooh, and curry sauce. Can we go in the sports shop? Wicked Liverpool top. I’m getting this. Oh hang on, this Arsenal one’s cool too. I’m having both. Can we go home now? Is that my cake? Can I lick the bowl? Look at this cool screensaver! Ooh, is that coconut? Awesome! And the lights on the sides flash when the music plays! Ew Bert licked my nose. The earphones are awesome. I’m starved. Can I have a beer tonight? What time’s dinner? This game’s awesome. This cake’s wicked! Can I have some more? Did you think about the beer then? I am 14 now… Corrr cider! Can I have some? Awesome! Oy, it’s my turn! Argh you killed me! I had a wicked day. Where’s my phone? Whose turn is it? Was that a text? Awesome day. Thanks Ma. “
The Friday photo: the good, the bad, the painful and the sad
So it’s been a bit of a mad week really, what with all the planning for The Big Trip on Monday (did I mention I’m going to Florida?).
The good news:
- I’m going Aer Lingus to Gatwick!!! (I hate Ryanair : all that cattle-market bustle for a seat).
- I did buy myself some new pants
- My Ma sent me dollars AND sterling!!! (Thanks Ma xxx)
- Tomorrow is #1, the Mad Professor’s birthday, which I’m not sure should really be in the good news section. I mean, I can’t possibly have a 14 year old child. Remember how old you thought your parents were when you were 14? I’ll let you know about the birthday cake tomorrow.
- Parent consultations went really well – The Mad Professor is ‘a joy to teach’ (doesn’t get that from me) and ‘keeps me on my toes asking loads of questions’. Apparently he never stops talking either, which could possibly be from me.
The bad news:
- I didn’t get my highlights done
- Nor did I get a bikini wax (I did, though, drag the dreaded, bastard epilator out of its case, where, once again, it made me cry real fat tears of agony whilst simultaneously ripping my body hair from my flesh – still, the rash has died down now and at least I don’t resemble a Wookie any more).
- I didn’t find a travel plug (surely they have hairdryers in hotels these days? It’s been a while…)
- I didn’t find a bag suitable for hand luggage, unless you count the pink Nike backpacks they sell in Lifestyle Sports, but I’m not really a backpack girl. I’m wondering if I can get away with a Tesco bag-for-life until I reach the shopping haven that is Gatwick Airport?
- Hubby gave Bert a bone which he ate, then yacked up in strategic positions all over the house. He waited until I washed his bed and all his blankets before yacking on them all again.
The sad news: although I’ll be posting, no doubt, while I’m away, I just thought I’d mention that it’s a whole year since my lovely friend C died. D and the kids are doing well but it’ll be a sad time and I’m sorry I won’t be here to share it with them. Still, she’ll be in my thoughts, as she is every day. D has ordered the gravestone (you have to leave it a year) and she’ll have the lilac stones that she wanted and the picture from her graduation on her headstone (which we tried to talk her out of ['what if they make you look ugly?!], but she was insistent – funnily enough it’s actually quite common here in Ireland to have a picture on the grave – apparently it’s sent away to Italy or somewhere to be etched into the stone) in time for her first anniversary.
Have a great weekend!! xx
Around the world in 80 clicks: Mum bloggers
So there’s lots of Mum bloggers. Here at home I’m a Mummy blogger, but to everyone else here in Ireland I’m a Mammy blogger and in the US I suppose I’d be a Mommy blogger. Titles schmitles, we’re all linked by being some little yoke’s Ma at the end of the day. So a Mom Blogger in Canada decided that she’d try to link her way around the world via us loons that have offspring and blog about it. The basic premise is that you talk about five things you love about being a Mum, then pass it on to create a ‘hands across the globe’ type thing of all that’s good about being a Mum. Irish Mammy tagged K8 the GR8 and K8 tagged me. I, in turn, will tag someone else and so it will go on, hopefully right back round to Canada.
And yes, I suppose the things I love about being a Mum of kids well into double figures will be completely different than those of a baby mama, but hey, that’s what links us all together: we’re all bonded by the initial puke and insomnia, through to the ‘what? No, of course you can’t have a tattoo’ stages of parenthood. We’re all destined to travel the same path. I love this about parenting. Whatever stage you’re at and however different you are, there’s always going to be some point when you go ‘oh yeh, been there’. Here goes then:
- Boy hugs. I’m not completely sure as I don’t have a girl, but I think boy hugs are probably slightly different from girl hugs. Boy hugs tend to be a bit hard and fierce, a bit ‘half nelson’ rather than soft and snuggly, but still I’m sure they mean as much. As one’s children get older, you tend to get your affection in different ways. For instance, I’ll get my hair ruffled while I’m sat at the computer (‘alright Smelly?’) and a child reaches past me to turn his amp on, or I’ll get shown a text that I probably shouldn’t see or told a joke I probably shouldn’t hear. These little things mean I still belong, and I’m still ‘in the gang’ even though I don’t need to wipe stuff or do up buttons anymore.
- Mad conversations. Who else can you have ‘if I was really fat’ conversations with, or chats about what would happen if everyone in the whole country suddenly woke up with Tourette’s (one of my favourites that -although you probably need to have seen ‘Deuce Bigalo, Male Gigolo’ in order to completely understand). Teenage boys have an unceasing ability to go off on mad random tangents, and dinner time conversations are much richer for it.
- Pride. Sometimes it’s the little things that make my heart swell. Take yesterday when I’d escaped up to my room to do something or other and suddenly heard the most beautiful version of ‘I believe in a thing called love’ twirling whimsically around every step before reaching its tendrils out to me at the top of the stairs. They might wallop out a mean version of Slipknot’s Psychosocial’ but the odd amazing tune still emanates from those Gibsons or Fender Strats or whatever it is they’re driving.
- Laughter. #2 decided to spend some of the vast wads of cash he received from his incredibly generous grandparents (and us, obviously) on some swanky new trainers. In the shop, he was trying them on and they seemed to fit, but the left toe of one shoe was a bit uncomfortable. Removing his sock to examine the problem revealed a toe-nail of such epic proportions that Godzilla would have been mighty proud. Reader, it was like a spade. I only stopped laughing when I worried I’d maybe wee myself if I carried on.
- Sofa twister. Yes, we’ve got lots of places to sit, but when there’s something good on the TV only the sofa dead opposite the telly will do. That means Hubby and I sharing with two lanky and slightly smelly young men, three cups of tea, one hot chocolate (no, go on, guess), a family pack of Cadbury’s funsize, a large bowl of popcorn, a bag of various flavoured lollipops and a desperate-not-to-be-left-out 90lb greyhound. It hurts, but it certainly brings a family together.
There you have it. Now it’s your turn. What are your favourite (or not so favourite) bits of being a parent?
And for the purposes of the ‘around the world in 80 clicks’ experiment, I thought I’d spread it around Ireland a bit by asking Susan in Cavan, Isitjustme in Galway, and Natalie who started in South Africa and ended up in Dublin, then for a baby Mama perspective I’ll tag my new discovery, Little Mummy in Edinburgh and for some international flavour, lovely Cam in Richmond. Here’s the rules from the originator:
Here’s how it’s going to work:… I’m going to link to a couple of other mom bloggers here in Canada, and to a couple of mom bloggers from other countries around the world, and they’ll write their posts, sharing 5 things that they love (or maybe what they don’t so much love – this playground doesn’t force conformity) about being a mom, and then they’ll tag a few more bloggers from their own country and from other countries, and so on. And you’re more than welcome to join: just write a post of your own (5 things that you love about being a mom) and find someone to link to and tag – someone from your own country, if you like, but definitely someone from another country (Google is a good resource if you don’t know any; google any country name and ‘mom’ in their blog search function) (be sure to let them know that you’ve tagged them!) – and link back here and leave a comment and we’ll add you to the ‘itinerary,’ ….
Stuff, but certainly no nonsense.
It occurred to me recently that I’ve loved so much stuff lately that I really should share it all with you. There’s been pictures I’ve really enjoyed… new blogs I’ve visited… websites I’ve loved… competitions I wished I had time to enter… you name it. So here, for your delectation, and with apologies to Nutty Cow, who did this first, and better, is all that is wondrous about the internet this week. Enjoy.
Stuff to read:
DBM’s wonderful book review. If this doesn’t make you want to rush out and buy this book, I’m a monkey’s uncle (apologies to my nephews and nieces there, only joking x). And yes, I know little Bugs is my cousin, but bloody hell she writes so effortlessly, doesn’t she? I’m feeling seriously inadequate. I’m going to take this book to Walt Disney World (did I mention I’m going to Florida??)
Baino’s lovely ‘Mummy Meme’. I’ve been tagged for this one and really must get round to writing it, but Baino sums up everything that’s wondrous (and horrible) about being a Mum. I just loved it.
On the same theme, K8 the GR8’s lovely piece. If answer no 2 doesn’t melt your heart, you’re that rock bloke out of that film with the man who bursts into flames and that fella who used to be in Nip/Cut. What the hell was that called? Anyway, you’re him.
Laura runs into an ageing serial killer in the supermarket. No, really.
Brighid’s Easter egg hunt was surely the weirdest I’ve ever heard of. I laughed out loud.
Blogs to visit:
A whole blog about chocolate. Seriously. I visit there just to drool on my keyboard sometimes.
Canelle et Vanille. Possibly the prettiest food photography ever.
Gorgeous photos:
The photos on Lors’ fabulous Italian Foodies website. Definitely the most beautiful blog on t’internet.
Coastal Aussie’s beautiful dingo, Taj, pretending to be a lion. In fact, check out all Aussie’s amazing photography.
Things to do:
Enter the competition at allrecipes.co.uk. It’s called ‘Share your secrets to win £500′. Submit an original recipe and photo for the chance to win. The winner will be decided by the recipe that has the most reviews on the closing date of 15 May. And yes, of course I’m going to enter. Just as soon as I have a spare second.
And then there’s shopping:
The fab teenage t-shirts at Cool Green Attitude (ethical and organic too).
Le Creuset’s new white glossy cast iron collection. Droooool.
Oh and I wish I could afford one of these delicious Orla Kiely bags to take with me to Florida (did I mention I’m going to Florida?). I’d like the pink one, please, Fairy Godmother.
Oh, and finally I thought you’d like to see this: the view out of my kitchen window as I was cooking Sunday lunch. A sunny day, a comfy spot and a friend to hug, eh? Who could ask for more (oh and check out the sparkly new birthday trainers. That won’t last).
Oh and did I mention I’m going to Walt Disney World? Oh, right. Sorry.
English Mum in Americky: 7 go mad at Walt Disney World
So here’s a thing. What would you do if an email landed in your inbox which said ‘hey, EM, fancy an all-expenses paid week at Walt Disney World in Florida?’ (okay, yours wouldn’t say EM obviously, but you get my point).
Well, if you’re Hubby you’d be instantly suspicious that it’s some kind of clever kidnap plot by a gang of human traffickers. But no, I’ve checked and it’s real. I’m off to Disney. It’s all part of the Think Parents Network of which I am a proud member – we’re a happy little band of parent bloggers that chat about various issues and give feedback on products and issues relevant to our special status as people who have produced children and feel the need to talk about it.
And oh no, as I keep pointing out to my seriously disgruntled offspring, this isn’t at all a solo jolly where 7 mummy bloggers get to run riot without their children for 7 days around Walt Disney World, oh no. This is work. We need to… erm… review things and experience things and er… stuff. Oh yes, we’ve got an itinerary and everything.
But the initial excitement has morphed into something akin to panic as I actually consider the prospect of a week away from English Towers. I mean, firstly, there’s the whole issue of what the hell they’ll do without me. Will Hubby be able to cope? Can he make packed lunches as well as I can? Will they catch the bus? Can he sort washing into colours? Can he load the machine? Will he remember to feed Bert? Will I return, happy and suntanned to find English Towers looking more like Nelson Mandela House with two wasted, grey children and an even more emaciated than usual greyhound?
And then there’s personal stuff. I mean, take my bikini line. Well, it’s less of a line, more of a rather aggressive boundary dispute between neighbours. It’s been a few months since it saw the inside of a beauty salon. And let’s face it, the DIY approach didn’t really work, did it?
And this leads me neatly on to the bikini issue. Will I need to get undressed? And will people look at my thighs? If so, will they stand up to scrutiny? Plastic surgery’s probably a little beyond my budget, and anyway, I’m a bit tight for time, frankly. Note to self: buy lots of fake tan.
Then there’s my hair. I did finally visit the hairdresser for a trim, having noticed that I was resembling the neighbouring sheep in a rather worrying fashion, but my highlights are more like mediumlights as they start around halfway down my hair, and I have no money to fix this right now. Note to self: buy a hat. A big one.
And there’s another thing: I HAVE NO MONEY! What if my fellow travellers all turn up with Gucci handbags and a goldcard, and I have to traipse around after them in some flash Florida mall while they flex their plastic and I pretend I’m really not into shopping. The shame.
And what about tipping? Do I need to take vast amounts of cash to tip everyone? I’ve never been to Americky – don’t you have to tip everyone from the porter to the taxi driver to the person that says ‘have a nice day’ and opens the door for you? They seem to do that in Two and a Half Men. I watched it yesterday as research.
Then there’s all those little worries, like will anyone actually like me? Will they already know each other? Mind you, as one of my fellow travellers pointed out, with 6 travelling companions surely at least one will tolerate me for a week? Hmm? Surely. But hang on, if there’s 7 of us, they could all pair up and leave me on my own. Ohhhh… pressure.
Will I, heady with the sudden freedom of being solo and child-free, get horribly drunk and reveal the minutiae of my love life to a stunned and silent audience? Or fall over and show the entire restaurant my knickers?
Oh God, and then there’s my knickers – will I be sharing a room with another Mum? And if so, should I buy some new knickers? Ones without holes? Will my faded pink Hello Kitty pants from H&M stand up to scrutiny?
But still, there are pluses. My first ever trip to the States… the chance to spend a week with 6 incredible fellow Mummy bloggers at an amazing place… the possibility that I might actually get to meet Phineas and Ferb… a flight (with nobody to take to the toilet!) on Virgin Atlantic… And free booze! Yay!
Be afraid, Mickey. Be very afraid.
The Friday photo: #2’s ridiculously chocolatey double chocolate meringue cheesecake
So you know the rules by now. The birthday person is entitled to request, nay, demand, the birthday cake/dessert/artery clogging confection of his/her choice and nobody’s allowed to complain; especially not me, and I have to make the bloody thing.
The Death Wish Child, my smallest, most accident-prone offspring, when not frequenting his local accident and emergency department or engaging in some form of muddy violence thinly veiled as a contact sport, is a bit of a chocolate lover. The child has miraculously survived to celebrate his 11th birthday. I know. It’s a miracle. And his birthday request was for… and I quote… “a cheesecake. Ooh, no, a chocolate cheesecake. Ooh, no… a double chocolate cheesecake. Yes. With a meringue topping. Erm, and sparklers”.
So there you have it. I’ll give you the recipe, not so much because I expect you to actually make one yourselves, more so you can marvel at the placement of so many calories in so small a cake tin. Be afraid:
300g dark chocolate digestive biscuits
100g butter, melted
175g dark chocolate
500g cream cheese
100g icing sugar, sieved
200ml double cream
Soooo, whizz the biscuits in a food processor, or put them in a strong freezer bag and bash hell out of them with a rolling pin (this step is particularly therapeutic if you have an ex-husband, or so I’m told). Then pour over the melted butter and mix well. Press the mixture into the bottom of a springform cake tin lined well with plenty of clingfilm (make sure it overhangs the sides) and put it in the fridge to set.
Meanwhile, melt the chocolate in a bowl over a pan of simmering water (remember not to let the bowl touch the water) and put aside. In a fresh bowl, beat the cream cheese, then add the icing sugar and beat well together:
Set that aside and in another bowl (yeh sorry, not very washing-up friendly this one), whisk the double cream until it’s lovely and fluffy, then set that one aside too:
Now check the chocky to make sure it’s blood temperature, and start to add the cream cheese mixture one spoon at a time, stirring well until it’s all combined:
Now fold in the whipped cream:
…and let the dog lick the bowl (awww, g’wan…):
Now pile the whole lot onto the cooled biscuit base and level it off with a knife and return to the fridge to set. Now, if you’re sane, you’ll walk away right this minute and serve your delicious dessert with a flourish and maybe some fresh raspberries:
If you’re mental, though, and prepared to do anything for your child just because it’s his birthday, crack on with the meringue. First, preheat the grill to very hot, then take 2 egg whites, plop them into a clean bowl and whisk until really fluffy and stiff. Now gradually add 115g caster sugar:
Whisk until the meringue is glossy and thick, and a generous stolen fingerful doesn’t contain any hint of gritty sugar. Take the cheesecake out of the fridge and carefully remove all the clingfilm. Now pile all the meringue over the top of your cheesecake, smoothing it over to the edges but leaving some little peaks, and chuck it quickly underneath your very hot grill just to singe the very tops of the mountains, as it were.
Serve, with sparklers, to an overexcited child, happily hiding your exhaustion, whilst secretly dreading what concoction the Mad Professor’s going to be demanding for his birthday in less than 10 days’ time. Phew.
An English Towers Easter medley
What? No, of course it’s not because I can’t be arsed to write anything.
1. Me hiding the eggs (what? of course you’re allowed to hide them on cars)
2. #2 scoffing his painstakingly (not) decorated chocolate muffin
3. And they’re off…
4. Little C goes a-huntin’
5. Lou and #1 check out the bottom of the garden
6. The fellas find ‘treesure’ in the Christmas tree
7. Lou’s beeyootiful muffin
8. Muffins galore
9. My chilli seedling (thanks to Growup for the seeds!)
The Good Friday photo: Hot cross buns or ‘not cross buns’: you decide.
So I’ve gone a bit hot cross bun mental recently. I was testing recipes for them ages ago for the magazine as I think I mentioned, and as people keep scoffing them, I’ve just kept making more and more. I’ve made them with crosses cut in the top, with crosses piped on, with crosses dribbled on… with no crosses piped on…I’ve made them in round tins, or on baking trays… you name it.
Anyhoo, here the ressup. Do with it what you will:
450g strong white bread flour
1 tbsp mixed spice
1 tsp salt
75g sugar
1 x 7g sachet dried yeast
100g sultanas (or mixed peel if you must – bleurgh)
150ml milk
150ml water
Zest of 1 orange
50g butter
First, then, sieve the flour and ground mixed spice together into a large bowl. Next, stir in the salt, sugar, dried yeast and sultanas.
In a small saucepan (or jug if you’re doing it in the microwave) warm the milk, water, orange zest and butter until the butter is just melted, then turn off the heat. The liquid should be about blood temperature when it’s added to the dry ingredients. If you’re using a mixer (mine finally exploded during my last batch, sending Hubby and #2 scurrying to the kitchen to see what I’d blown up, and if I’d survived the blast), set it on low and slowly pour in the milky mixture until the dough comes together (you might not need all of it so go steady), then plug in the dough hook and set it to knead for a good five minutes.
I’ve come to believe, though, that they come out nicer and lighter if you knead them by hand for at least ten minutes. Yes, I know, sorry, but it’s true. Knead away, then, getting a good kitchen workout into the bargain. The sultanas keep trying to escape, but grab any trying to make a quick getaway and poke them back in. Keep going until the dough is nice and springy and firm (apparently, good dough should be the texture of a woman’s breast).
Erm anyway, moving swiftly on… when your dough is sufficiently boob-like, leave it covered in a warm place until it’s doubled in size. Then, just knock it back with your fist (imagine it’s someone you can’t stand – nice bit of culinary therapy there), and cut it in half, then half again and half again. Form each of your 8 pieces into a ball and place them on a baking tray. Cover and rise again until they’re puffed up.
If you want to add the cross, then mix about 2 tbsp flour, a tsp of caster sugar and enough water to make into a paste and either just dribble it with a teaspoon, or pipe it onto your buns (ooer Missus). Or, you can cut a cross in the top of the buns, like so:
…and pipe the cross into the little lines like so:
But whatever you think. Let’s not obsess here, they’re just buns.
Ooh, one thing, though, you can spread them out inside a large, springform tin, which produces a little circle of buns that you have to tear off – good for novelty value:
Bake for about 15-20 minutes at 180/gas 6 until they sound hollow when patted on the bottom (sorry, I seem to have gone all Les Dawson in this recipe). Finally, when they’re just out of the oven, glaze with a tbsp of sugar to which a drop or two of boiling water has been added, or warm up some apricot conserve and brush it on for extra glossy stickiness.
Now, to the important business of face stuffing: if you’re eating them straight out of the oven (a move I heartily recommend), slather them in butter and be done with it. But if you’re eating them maybe the next day, split and toast them first. If you’re going to freeze them, slice them in half first so they can go straight in the toaster.
Oh, and if you’re going to go all Jamie Oliver, you can slice them, spread them with marmalade, pour over some custard (although I would have thought that ready-made would be disgusting, I’m sure he knows more about it than me) and bake them in the oven.
Either way, have a wonderfully happy Easter break/secular celebration of the start of springtime/excuse to stuff yourself with chocolate /insert your own excuse here… with your loved ones.
Back soon!
The Jelly Monster’s ‘Things I Wish I Thunk Of’ challenge
So naughty Jelly Monster has tagged me with a liddle quizzy thingy, and as usual, out of the goodness of my heart, I’m going to share my highly intelligent answers with you, my loyal readership.
Movie:
Hmm, difficult one this. Depends if we’re going on sheer monetary gain (and you can’t really count Harry Potter, because the book came first I suppose) or cleverness (Matrix) or whatever. But I’d have to say I’d choose the classic ‘An Affair to Remember’. What’s not to love about the whole ‘met the girl, lost the girl, supposed to meet at the top of the Empire State building but then she gets run over by a taxi’ type plot line. It can’t have been that bad otherwise they wouldn’t have nicked it for Sleepless in Seattle now would they?
Song:
Seeing as we’re doing things that we wish we’d thought of, rather than our favourite ones, I’d have to go for Thriller. Although I’m not (and never have been) the biggest Michael Jackson fan, especially after the whole kiddy fiddling allegations debacle, who can remember the excitement leading up to the first ever showing of that video, and those bloody amazing dancers too. Great track. Even better vid.
Chocolate Bar:
Ah, now you all know the answer to that one. It’s not exactly a bar but oh, Creme Egg, how I love thee. How else can you get grown men to stare, jaws dropped in awe, purely by eating a small piece of confectionary? Chocolate AND entertainment – what’s not to love?
Invention:
Now I suppose I should go techno here – the computer, or the flat screen TV or satellite navigation or something, but hey, I’m a girl and seeing as the Jelly Monster already took GHDs, my invention of choice would have to be make-up. And boys, before you think this doesn’t apply to you, imagine how horrible millions of women would look all over the world if it weren’t for foundation and a bit of blusher. Yeh. Thought so.
Event:
Well it has to be Live Aid doesn’t it. Ah, I remember it well – although I didn’t get to go, I was glued to the TV the whole time, sitting in my CHOOSE LIFE t-shirt and my fluorescent legwarmers. And didn’t you just love Paul Young back then? *swoon*
Over to you, then, list the movie, song, chocky bar, invention and event you wish you’d thought of first. Chop chop now…
Oh, and blogger-wise, I tag Baino, Isitjustme and Jay. Links back to Queen Monster of Jelly please!
