How to win friends and influence people. Not.
Laydees and gennlemen I give you Brian Lenihan, Ireland’s Minister for Finance: tonight probably not the most popular man in Ireland.
Now you know I’m a bit blonde when it comes to financial matters, but here are the bits I understood. Briefly, Mr Lenihan’s budget today saw VAT rise to 21.5%, income tax increase by at least 1%, an increase of 8c on a litre of petrol and a whopping 50c (HOLY CRAP!) on every litre of wine and every pack of cigarettes (not that I care about the fags, natch). Motor tax rates are up by 4% (5% if your car is over 2.5L) and there are plenty of sneaky little cuts like Early Childcare Benefit ceasing at 5 1/2 instead of 6, and Child Benefit finishing when your child is 17 instead of 18. He’s also abolished the automatic right to free medical care for the over 70s and introduced a 1% income levy across the board which everyone has to pay, even if you are one of Ireland’s lowest earners. Finish that off with a nice €10 airport tax on every flight and I think that’s just about everyone he’s pissed off.
There was good news for Thrifty though, as there’s some sort of incentive for cycling to work, I think.
Oh, and if you’re thinking of self-harming now you’ve heard all that depressing news? Don’t. Not unless you can afford the €100 it’ll now cost you to attend A&E. Happy days.
Terence McDanger’s Bumper Book of Silly Questions
So naughty old Terence McDanger has set me a little bloody enormous challenge. I’ve got to answer all these questions in a witty and entertaining manner. I’ll wake you up when it’s over:
What are your nicknames? Well most of my nicknames are related in some way to my first name which is obviously HIGHLY confidential. My Dad used to call me ‘Titch’ (well, I was the youngest) and Hubby calls me ‘Babe’ when he’s in a good mood and ‘jesus christ, woman’, when he’s not.
What was the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD? I have absolutely no idea. We were the first in our road to have a Betamax video player though.
Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days? What a very badly worded question. Erm yes – the current economic climate and the fact that my diesel gauge reads full even when my tank’s empty. Oh, and Bert ate my Maltesers.
Do you have a good body image? Yeh, generally. I can scrub up pretty well when I can be bothered.
What is your favourite fruit? Mango. Squeeze a little lime juice over and it’s sublime.
What websites do you visit daily? Daily? My own, and then at least a couple of my blogroll favourites, but I wouldn’t say I visit any of them every day. I love DC de Facto, Annie Rhiannon, Little Bird Eats, Head Rambles, Moon, Don’t Bug Me, Coastal Aussie, Beaut.ie, Sleepy Jane, The Depp Effect, iRamble, Thrifty, Baino, Coffee Helps, Parlez-vous Moo?, Queen of Clean, Quickroute, Maxi Kane, K8, Martin Dwyer, Medbh, Eire Rules, and loads more besides. Basically I’m a total blog addict and I’m always discovering new ones too.
What have you been seriously addicted to lately? Ebay. And chocolate when Bert doesn’t steal it.
What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is? What, ol’ T McD? I always imagine him as a bit of a charmer. One who can sway the laydees with his seductive charm and razor wit. Could be wrong, though. He might be a 20 stone, sweaty minger.
What’s the last song that got stuck in your head? ‘I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chopsticks’
Favourite clothing Jeans. Always jeans – I love Seven and Citizens of Humanity. I go for skinny when I’m wearing boots and boyfriend cut with me trainers.
Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy? Er yes I suppose they’re okay. I’m more of a cinnamon bagel and cup of tea girl, to be honest.
What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground? Leave it there. What would I do with a hundred dollars? Seriously, if you mean cash in general, I’d hand it in to the Gardai telling them where I found it. I know, but I’m prime ‘secret camera show’ material. I’d definitely get caught if I lifted to much as a penny sweet. I’m just unlucky.
Items you couldn’t go without during the day? My phone, my computer, my dog (does he count?), my glasses as I’m completely blind, my shitty old jeep for the school run.
What should you be doing right now? Nothing. I’m sitting on the sofa in front of a roaring fire with my kids, ma Hubby, me dawg, MTV on in the background and a large glass of Pinot Grigio. Life is sweet.
So as usual, I’m going to buck the trend and pass on this little treasure to you, my adoring public. And I want everybody to answer every question. No shirking now, cut, paste and fill in. Off you go, then.
What are your nicknames?
What TV gameshow/reality show would you like to be on?
What was the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD?
What is your favourite scent?
If you had one million dollars to spend only on yourself, what would you spend it on?
One place you’ve visited, can’t forget and want to go back to?
Do you trust easily?
Do you generally think before you act, or act before you think?
Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Do you have a good body image?
What is your favourite fruit?
What websites do you visit daily?
What have you been seriously addicted to lately?
What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
What’s the last song that got stuck in your head?
Favourite clothing
Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy?
What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground?
Items you couldn’t go without during the day?
What should you be doing right now?
Competition Winner: the Cook’s Academy Cookbook
The winner of the competition to win my hot-off-the-press copy of the Cook’s Academy Cookbook by Vanessa Greenwood (spectacularly published by the lubly chaps at Gill Macmillan) is… cue fanfare…
JENNIFER GEARY!!!!
Congrats, Jennifer. Cookbook will be winging its way to you shortly.
The Friday photo: Et tu, Berte?
“Is nothing bloody sacred in this house? I drive to the shop in the peeing rain to get myself some chocolate so that when I finally get to sit down in the evening I’ve got something to nibble on, and what happens? It disappears! I mean, it’s not as though I didn’t buy you lot something as well. There were flippin’ Chocolate Kimberleys there for you gannets and there’s always stuff in the chocky drawer and you STILL nick my bloody Maltesers. Oy! Are you lot even listening to me? I said who nicked my…
Oh.
Never mind.”
In which the Beaut.ie girls make me feel all celebtastic
So if you live in Ireland, you’ll know all about Beaut.ie – Ireland’s beauty blog. The girlies are the first place to look for everything beauty related: product news and reviews, tons of hints and tips and plenty of goss too. Anyhoo, the Beauts are doing a series on us girly bloggers and the lubly Kirstie interviewed me for the blog. Ooh, I felt all famous and special! Anyhoo, if you want to read my interview, rush over to beaut.ie and have a look. No pictures, please!
Perks, perks, perks… and one for you, too!
So there’s been plenty of navel-gazing recently. A lot of of my favourite bloggers have thrown in the towel or taken a holiday. Thrifty‘s promised to be back in the new year, although you can still visit the Thriftyshop where you can buy yourself a pair of Thriftypants (come on, you know you want some). Wee Jen and Isitjustme took a break, but have both just made a triumphant comeback (yay!). A lot’s been said about why we do this weird online diary thing, and a lot of it for me is the feedback – having my own little ever-expanding gang of commenters around to chat, even when I’m alone up here in wild, windy Cavan.
It has to be said, though, there are other advantages - namely the perks. As you know, the kids got a brand new copy of Wall:E for the Wii from THQ when it first came out and it’s still one of their faves (thanks Alex!!) and at the moment I have a brand new, shiny and still rather warm off the press copy of a newly published cookbook on my desk: Cooks Academy Cookbook, by Vanessa Greenwood. I received it quite a while ago but have been subject to an embargo until now (I know, my first embargo! I’m so proud). And seeing as Gill and Macmillan took the time to send me a copy (hello Emily!) I thought I’d better give it a go. Actually, it’s rather good. The lady in question runs a cookery school and appears occasionally on the box too as a guest chef. The recipes are many and varied and there are nice little touches all the way through, explaining various cookery terms and giving hints on ingredients and substitutions. The photography is superb as well. I made a few recipes from the book, including the barbecue glazed chicken and some incredibly scrummy chocolate chip cookies, and they were excellent.
Oh, and is anyone else loving Rachel Allen’s new ‘Bake!’ (this week at 9pm on UKTVFood)? Hubby and I have both noticed that Rach has been ‘sexed up’ a bit, with a hint of cleavage and some new hair dos. Hubby also noted that she had ‘found the make-up bag’ and is looking rather hot, I think. And afterwards there’s a really cool programme on a maverick wedding cake company in the US. Worth a watch just for the amazing cakes they create.
Anyhoo, I’ve got a copy of the Cooks Academy Cookbook to give away, so if you’d like to receive it, email me here at English Towers and I’ll do something unscientific like drawing names out of a hat or whatever.
And if anyone else has any freebies for me, bring them on!
EDIT:
If you’re interested, Emily at Gill Macmillan has given me the following dates for upcoming cookery demonstrations:
Cooks Academy Cookbook: Recipes from the cookery school by Vanessa Greenwood
Saturday 11 October, Hughes & Hughes Bookshop on Marine Road, Dun Laoghaire, Co Dublin @ 1.00pm.
Attendees will be given the opportunity to win a place on one of the school’s renowned courses on the day.
A Kitchen Year by Paula McIntyre
Friday 10 October, Centre for the Blind, Coleraine @ 7.00pm
Monday 13 October, Castleroe Primary School, Coleraine @ 7.00pm
Tuesday 21 October, Coleraine Rotary Club, Lodge Hotel, Coleraine @ 6.00pm
Friday 31 October, Castlecroft Market Centre, Ballymoney Council, Ballymoney @ 11am-1.00pm
Remember when Mum gave all the cows names?
Earlier, Bert and I wandered up to the churchyard to spend a while at C’s grave. I noticed that the flowers I took up there had been cleared away by someone thoughtful (Mrs Lovely, probably) – there’s nothing worse than dead flowers by a grave – and felt guilty that I hadn’t brought fresh ones. There’s no headstone yet, D says it’s too early, but various people have left terracotta pots full of flowers and it looks very pretty.
Every time I go, I remember snatches of conversations; brief moments in time that now seem so long ago: snorty belly laughs as well as tears and frustrations. Was it really last October when we went to the pumpkin festival together? Last November when we did trick or treating, jamming our overdressed and overexcited children into the back of the jeep so we could visit the neighbours?
Time flies. We’re already making plans for Christmas – my family are all flying over and we’re tremendously excited, but it’ll be bittersweet. Last year, we spent both Christmas and New Year’s Eve with C, D and the kids. D does a good job, and I have to stop myself from flapping over the children: do they have the right stuff for school? Do they need new swimmers for their imminent holiday? He’s very patient and I think (hope) realises that I’m only trying to help – he has The Lovelies, who help in so many ways, and his parents. The children have lots of support, but every so often it will hit me that things will never be the same: like a well-intentioned note on Lou’s hospital appointment that said ‘remember your Mammy can stay overnight with you’.
Her number’s still in my phone. I kept her texts: frustrated ones from hospital: ‘goin stir crazy in here’, supportive ones: ‘yr the next Delia Smith!’, and downright silly ones too. Life goes on. We all carry on, but she’s not forgotten. ’Remember when Mum gave all the cows names?’ Little C said last week. Yes, I do. Like it was yesterday.
Another Saturday…
So we had a fab time at Moon’s nuptials. I love weddings. The first time I ever came to Ireland we stayed in The Tower Hotel in Waterford and there was a total corker of a wedding going on. I remember I got chatting to the bride and her bridesmaids who were all sitting up on the sinks in the ladies’ room comparing blisters (new shoes – ow) and sharing a bottle of champers. We all got on so well, we were all still in there two bottles later. Happy days.
Anyhoo, so I forgot to tell you what happened when I took a trip to the unfeasibly large shopping centre to see if I could get myself something to wear. Fashion’s a big pain in the arse really. I mean, let’s look at the evidence here: I started off with one of those one-shoulder dresses, but seriously – what are you supposed to do with your other bra strap? Cut it off? Then the shop assistant (about twelve, stick thin, yeah, you know the type), brought me in a prom dress (little corset top and full skirt), but it was a teeny bit snug and, as my dear ol’ Grandma would say ‘my dumplings were boiling over’ so me and my heaving cleavage decided we’d better have a bigger size. Reaching round to unzip myself, I discovered, to my utter horror, that I’d somehow managed to get the zip stuck and looked around the dressing room door to see if I could find the girly to get me a bigger size. Nope, she’d vanished. I was now starting to get very embarrassingly hot and sweaty, not to mention slightly breathless from being so constricted in the, er, chest department.
Desperate now, and worrying that I might pass out and not be found before closing time, me and the fellas lunged sweatily out of the changing room and grabbed a convenient passing man. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Excuse me, I’m so sorry, but could you help me?
Man (startled): Erm… How, exactly?
Me: I seem to be stuck in my dress.
Man (backing away): aren’t there assistants for that sort of thing?
Me: (starting to go blue): yes, but I can’t find her and I’m stuck…
Man (looking really worried now): I could find one…
Me: Look, I apologise for the inconvenience but I’m actually in imminent danger of passing out…
Man: OK, how about you go in the cubicle and I’ll stick my hands through the curtain and try and undo it.
Me (feeling faint): Yes, that sounds fine
Man: Err, what am I grabbing here?
Me: Oops, hang on, I haven’t turned round yet. There we go…
Man: OK. Fuck. You don’t have a pair of pliers do you?
Me (muffled from behind curtain): Damn, I appear to have completely forgotten my pliers this morning…
Man: Hang on, I think it’s coming now.
Me: Ah, that’s it. Goodness me, what on earth would someone think if they walked in and saw…
Security guard, jumping on unsuspecting knight in shining armour: ‘Right you little pervert, you’re coming with me sunshine…’
Me (clutching liberated chest and calling after man as he’s dragged away): Oh dear… erm…thank you!
So that’s it. I did try to explain the situation to the assistant, who had reappeared, Mr Benn-like, in the changing rooms. But I’m never going shopping ever again. And I wonder what ever happened to that poor man…
This post is the first in a series of 7 posts, all by different bloggers, but all linked in a mysterious fashion and published simultaneously: the brain child of the fiendishly clever Maxi Cane. Go on, follow the links, you know you want to…
English Mum’s Book(ish) Club: our September book
I think it might be me. Maybe I’m just not cut out to run a book club? Our September book, Rebecca’s Tale by Sally Beauman, is still sitting upon my bedside table, 1/4 read. In the meantime I’ve read approximately five thrillers, a book about the history of British food (Taste: The Story of Britain Through its Cooking, by Kate Colquhoun), reread one of my favourite ever travel/foodie books: Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes, started Hotel Pastis by Peter Mayle, and am currently devouring Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay (brilliant). And all the time Rebecca’s Tale sits quietly by me, ignored. And I loved Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier as well. I don’t know, these days there’s just something about a book with blood and murders and forensic teams and autopsies that floats my boat. This one seemed, well, a bit lame. I know. I can’t help it.
It’s not that I don’t WANT to read it, it’s just that the first bit bored the bloody pants off me, and now I can’t even review it properly as I just can’t force myself to pick it up. So, huge and sucky apologies to everyone, but I’m afraid I hated it. Anyone else have any thoughts?
The friday photo: the new Mr and Mrs Moon
So I know I’m biased, but isn’t this just the most beautiful picture? What a handsome couple, eh? And that bum! Moon said ‘do you fancy my Missus?’ and I said ‘well really, could you blame me? She’s gorgeous!’. Congratulations, you guys.
Oh and I love this one. Mrs M looks like she’s saying ‘hmmm… I wonder if it’s too late to change my mind’!! This was the bit where the photographer had to keep going ‘Moon! Look at her face!!!’.
PS: Oh and if you haven’t already, you must pop over to Moon’s blog and read all about it.
PPS: And by the way, these beautiful photos were taken by the lovely Bex: Rebecca Fennell Photography who comes very highly recommended. Email me if you require contact details.
