English Mum’s ‘Don’t Eat Six Gingercakes’ Diet
So Hubby and D-next-door play 6-a-side soccer on a Thursday (well, sometimes it’s 5-a-side, or 7, depending on who can be arsed). They come home absolutely shattered, pouring with sweat, have a quick shower and bugger off to the pub where they consume large amounts of beer. I can’t help myself; I have to question how healthy this pastime actually is. I, on the other hand, don’t bother with the exercise or the working up of a sweat – I just go straight into the vino. We have a chat and decide that we’re probably not the healthiest of families.
The thing is, though, dear reader, I generally don’t think we do too badly. We have good, freshly prepared food, eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, we exercise… Well, I walk the dog every day and Hubby has a gym in the garage (I don’t go in since my run-in (hah) with the evil running machine that glares at me when I go to put stuff in the tumble dryer. It made me dry-heave after ten minutes then spat me onto the floor). But yes, I do have a serious baking addiction and a fondness for a glass of wine or seven. Where do you draw the line? I think I’m quite healthy – I’m a size 12, which is probably about right for my 5’7″ frame. I have been this size for my whole adult life. Yes, I have ‘tits and ass’ (sorry mother), but I like them, I’m fond of them and I don’t want them to disappear.
But (or should that be butt), equally, I’ve noticed the curve of my tummy being rather more pronounced recently, and as much as I love curves, I wouldn’t want them to be lost under rolls of flab either. I want to continue to be healthy, but to curb some of my more extreme habits (the baking of 6 ginger cakes in one day because I couldn’t quite get it sticky enough being one of them).
I absolutely and utterly will not do diets. I won’t have the D word even mentioned in my house. I think denial equals disaster. Healthy eating is one thing, but denying yourself fruit on the Atkins diet because it contains hidden sugar is just plain mental and unhealthy and I won’t countenance it. We have a long chat, and decide on the following rules for English Towers:
- We will try to have a healthy breakfast (damn, there goes the enormous slice of leftover ginger cake and the big fat hot chocolate, then)
- We will cut down on the amount of refined food and junk that we eat. Damn you, Ronald McDonald.
- We will try to avoid eating big stodgy meals after 6pm (scientific studies – not that pillock Atkins – have proven that you don’t need huge amounts of carbs at night when you’re going to just sit around and not burn them off).
- We will (double gulp) cut down on our alcohol intake. Initially we’ll try to just drink alcohol at weekends.
- We will do all this without making a big fuss and involving our children in ‘ooh, I can’t possibly eat that’ type conversations.
There. I’ve said it. And now I’ve told you all it will have to become law or I’ll look really stupid. And I’ve just bought 24 bottles of Jacob’s Creek up at Tesco’s in Enniskillen too. Damn.
18 Responses to “English Mum’s ‘Don’t Eat Six Gingercakes’ Diet”
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At least there’s Moon’s wedding to break that sad little streak.
I won’t do diets anymore either, but sadly, unless I keep note of what I eat I tend to overdo it. *Sigh*
Good luck with the new healthy eating plan. Yes, that sounds SO much better than ‘diet’, doesn’t it?
Diets … we discuss this alot in out house… there are bollocks .. simple really.. I could write a book on diets … it would be something like this …. A little of everything in moderation ($9.99 please)…
We eat very healthly, Mrs M is a great cook. Lots of fresh veg, fruit etc, nothing fried, but all yummy. We drink, we enjoy meals out. The only thing we don’t have, as I am addicted to, is choccie…. otherwise enjoy, use the gym, go blading, we walk, and we try to keep moving (lots of sex to… we are newly wed ….!!!)….
Simple really, not Rocket Science….
xx
good luck with it, hope it goes better than mine….
xx
t
Ma: I know. It’s the wine that’s going to floor me. Hubby’s optimistic but I give us ’til Tuesday…x
Kirk: She’s always worried about me. But I thought it was about the amount I drink. This is a new one!
TC: I know. It’s a pisser. I’m making the most of this weekend. Pass the Merlot!
Sandra: Stop, you’re depressing me. In fact I’m wondering if I should bother at all. Yep, Moon’s wedding’ll be a riot, no doubt!
Baino: You’re joking? I could DHL you some? Hmm, not sure about treadmill tips – I prefer solid ground, personally. It’s definitely got something to do with not looking sideways while walking forwards. Well, it makes me fall off anyway, although I don’t have great co-ordination at the best of times
Sandra: Big pile of doughnuts, scattering of smarties, chocolate sauce… I could make you a fair approximation I think! For the original, you need to visit its seriously talented creator at sugarcoatedlove.com. Prepare to be amazed!
Tara: Oh I love a Big Mac. I know. I just can’t help myself!
Jay: Happily I don’t like doughnuts – I don’t like the greasy burps they give you after you’ve eaten them. Nope, definitely no dieting – I had rhubarb crumble and cream for pudding today. Hee hee!
Moon: Persactly. Diets are silly. A little healthy eating and slightly fewer ginger cakes should set me back on track. Ooh, I’m not sure I could give up the Bournville though…I hadn’t thought about that! (and how can you moan about ‘tits and ass’ when you’re guffing on about your bloody sex life in the next sentence? Hmm?) x
Alg: Sod off. Well you haven’t seen me for a year or so. You might be surprised! x
Tracey: Ah, it’s the tummy, to be sure. Bloody kids – they’ve got a lot to answer for!
Nats: I think I’ll be okay with the food issue – if I concentrate harder while cooking I’ll have less mistakes to eat! It’s the wine that’s gonna kill me x
BTW, thanks to Nats for passing on my comments and to Kirk who’s worked so hard (for free!) to try and mend the problem. Apologies for the pinkness but it’s the only way to skirt around my commenting issue. Don’t worry, I won’t desert you (or should that be dessert you. Heh.). EM xx
Less in, more out – that’s the only thing that works. AA Gill had a wonderfully biting article about it – must go and find that.
But our friend S. has moved in for a few months and she has brought giant bags of crisps with her for snacks. This is going to be tough…
If it is his turn to cook it is take-away if it is my turn I get asked “what’s for dinner, something nice or are you cooking?”
I will then cook his least favourite meal which is usually something I really enjoy