Just call me Bob
So you might remember Gorgeous G, my rather lubly hairdresser. Truly scrumptious, very talented and – gasp! – not gay. After my foray into brown-ness, I toyed with a bit of ‘caramel’, a bit of ‘copper’ and even (big mistake) some reddish low-lights. I’m still feeling a bit brown and dull and I’m looking a bit, well, straggly. I just tie it up every day. This calls for a visit to G. We talk about his big day (he got to bed at 4.30am, that’s my kind of wedding) and he looks at my hair:
G: What you need is a beautiful, sleek blonde bob. It would look fabulous on you, I promise.
Me: Erm…I won’t look like a boy will I?
G: No, and what’s more, [teasingly] if you cut some of the ends off, it’ll be much healthier and you can have more highlights.
Me: Do it. Do it now.
So that’s how I come to have a rather sleek, terrifically shiny blonde bob, which I flick around in the rear view mirror all the way home, feeling rather sexy and come-hither. I flutter my eyelashes in the mirror too, until the man in the white van behind me starts laughing. Then I stop. I text Jen while I’m stuck in traffic. She approves. We have a nice texty conversation about how cool bobs are and how we’ve both wanted one for ages. I check the mirror again. Ooh, swingy. Then I get home and it all goes downhill:
Me: Ta da!
Hubby’s subconscious: Jesus she looks like a boy. Quick, say something nice.
Hubby: Erm…. Oh.
Hubby’s subconscious: Pathetic. Is that the best you can do?
Me: Well, what do you think?
Hubby’s subconscious: Don’t worry, it’ll grow, you’ll just have to fantasise a bit more about Jennifer Love-Hewitt when you’re getting it on, that’s all…
Hubby: Erm, it’s very nice…
Me: Oh. Don’t you like it?
Hubby’s subconscious: For God’s sake try to look enthusiastic, you’re giving us away.
Hubby: No, no, I do like it. It’s just a bit of a shock, that’s all.
Me (feeling suddenly less sexy and swingy): You don’t like it do you.
Hubbys subconscious: Now you’ve done it. You’ll have to lie. And quick.
Hubby: Yes, erm…. it’s lovely. I wonder what it’ll look like in the morning though…
Hubby’s subconscious: Doh!
Me: Why?
Hubby: Well, you might not be able to get it as good as he did it.
Me (grabbing bottle of Merlot): You hate it don’t you. Why can’t you just tell the truth?
Hubby’s subconscious: Tsk. Pour the Merlot. It’s the least you can do now you’ve hurt her feelings.
So anyway, I’ve got a bob. And I like it. It’ll look lovely for Moon’s wedding – I’ve got a feather fascinator to put in it and everything. And Hubby? Well, I suppose it’ll grow on him eventually. Until then, there’s always Jennifer.
18 Responses to “Just call me Bob”
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Also, your husband at least tries! Mine would be standing there wondering what was different: ‘WTF’d she say ‘tada’ for? I don’t see a takeaway’…
*sigh*
Congratulations on lovely new hair!
Picture? You could at least give us a back view!!
I knew you hated the Brumette look and, honestogod, I never liked it. Sorry…
You are DEFINITELY a sassy blonde and Hubbs doesn’t know how lucky he is – at least you never came home skinned!
Go aesey on the GHDs and make Monday Night your ‘Deep Conditioning Treatment’ Night. Then you can keep your luxuriant blonde shagme – and your mojo – for ever and ever!
Yay!!!
Work that bob, lady!
I’ve been trying to assist, but I know squat other than they don’t like sunlight and if there are gremlins Phoebe Cates should be around too, and I find that prospect much more interesting. Mmmmm fast times at ridgemont high……
Anyhoo, we hope to have EM replying in the not too distant future (no doubt she is saying “what’s this we business paleface….”, yeah, I’m not much help)
also, is this why she has stopped commenting on my site, or does she think it is just plain boring … I can take a hint ….. ps, you hair looks horrible !
pps, I am seeing your brother next week (EM’s brother, not Trifty’s) for lunch, thats weird, having to meet him in LA !
Moon: Your wish is my command – one fascinator coming up!
Susan: ‘I don’t see a takeaway’ LOL!!! Thanks, I’m enjoying it although Hubby definitely thinks I’m a boy.
Baino: It’s sticking out a lot more since I tried to do it, but hey, it all adds to the..er…texture?! I didn’t know it was called a fascinator until I looked at the label. Cosmopolitan, moi! x
Jay: Am trying to train #2 to take a pic – he’s bloody useless though – unless I really DO look like a boy?!
June: Aw, you’re my own little cheerleader. Somewhere inside me is a gorgeous person just desperate to get out!!
TM: Nope, me neither – it’s all sticking out now. *Le sigh*
TC: Oh the flattery! Yep, it’s a bunch of feathery stuff stuck on a hairband. Fascinator sounds much better though x
Jen: Awww. Just call me Mrs Treatment from now on. I promise x
Mary: Bunch of feathers and stuff on a hairband. There, that’s shattered your illusions hasn’t it!!! x
Jen: Yay! Bob has been replaced by lots of sticking out bits, but I’m working it as ‘tousled’ x
Nutty: I’m trying to train the child but he’s less of a David Bailey than even his mother!! x
Thrifty: You’re a star, thanks.
Moon: Sod off. You write such bloody long posts – I never get to the end before my broadband connection gives up! I’m up to date now. Don’t suppose I could ask you to pass on a big wet kiss and a huge hug to my big bro could I? No? Well tell him I miss him then xx
Ma: I’m trying. He keeps making me look like the nerdy one off Criminal Minds though x
Nats: Thank you thank you thank you for passing on my comments – and I would KILL PEOPLE for your gorgeous hair! Mine is silly baby hair and is a pain in the bum! xx