Conversations with Bert

 

Bert: *sigh*

Me: Hey Bert

Bert: Hey Mum, gissa cuddle

Me: Okay, but can you stop drooling on my jeans, please?  There’s a good chap.

Bert: Scratch my ears..ooh yeah…a little higher…perfect.  And I need to pee.

Me: Well, I’m just busy typing something – I’ll be done in a minute.  And move your head off my lap – I can’t type properly

Bert: *sigh*

Me: Patience, Biffer – two ticks, honestly.

Bert: *sigh* 

Me: Tsk

Bert: I don’t think you’re quite grasping the gravity of my situation, I really need to go.

Me: Look, I’m just finishing, I’ll be done in two seconds. 

Bert: Done yet?  Hmm?  Can we go?

Me: Nearly.  And stop licking my trousers, I’ll look like I’ve wet myself

Bert: Now I’ve really, really got to go. 

Me: Jeez, Bert.  Cross your legs for a minute.

Bert: It’s desperate.  Can we go?  Can we?  Please?  Huh? Can we?  Huh?  Huh?

Me:  Almost….done… don’t lick my arm, your breath is gross

Bert: Okay, then, don’t say I didn’t warn you – I’m just popping upstairs to your bedroom…

Me: Arrghh!  Okay!  I’m coming now!

Bert: Heh.  Works every time.

18 Responses to “Conversations with Bert”

1. Thriftcriminal says:

   July 19, 2008 at 7:34 pm

   Tie a knot in it?

   Reply
2. jennynib says:

   July 19, 2008 at 9:08 pm

   You’re overestimating…

   A peg should do it!

   Reply
3. Jay says:

   July 19, 2008 at 10:24 pm

   Cunning little devils, aren’t they? And why is it that mine will come in from a walk, wait until we’ve sat down with a cuppa, and then demand to be let out into the garden?

   Reply
4. june in florida says:

   July 20, 2008 at 3:46 am

   What are you doing in the house on a Saturday, it,s the weekend.There must be more exiting things to do than typing(even if it is for us)and taking Bert for a pee.Just looked at the time on your post, hey the pubs open.

   Reply
5. wee jen says:

   July 20, 2008 at 10:43 am

   Kids, eh? They will always find a way

   Reply
6. Mum says:

   July 20, 2008 at 10:45 am

   I take it it wasn’t raining then? X

   Reply
7. Baino says:

   July 20, 2008 at 11:26 am

   It’s all a wicked plan to get attention. Mine sleeps all day but at night is persistently begging to be let out to do what? Bark and chase rabbits! Next house is going to have a doggie flap!

   Reply
8. English Mum says:

   July 20, 2008 at 3:57 pm

   Thrifty: I’m not sure if Bert has an ‘it’ exactly…

   Jen: Paperclip?? Heh x

   Jay: Exactly. I guess we shouldn’t moan – at least they ask (!). Bert does this constant, whiny, high pitched thing until he gets his own way. Grrrr. x

   Reply
9. English Mum says:

   July 20, 2008 at 4:00 pm

   June: I did go out, honest. I had to drive to Mullingar to meet #1′s friend (he’s off to stay at their’s for the weekend in Tipp). But yes, I spend half my life by the bloody computer! x

   Jen: Hah, emotional blackmailers have nothing on my Bert. He’s the King of Manipulation

   Ma: Raining? No way! Bert doesn’t DO rain! x

   Baino: Christ, I’d just have to have a hinge on the whole door! Would save a bit of effort, though, I agree x

   Reply
10. SleepyJane says:

    July 21, 2008 at 6:36 am

    Haha!! So cute!

    Reply
11. nuttycow says:

    July 21, 2008 at 12:42 pm

    Heh. I like the way Bert thinks. Clever hound.

    Reply
12. English Mum says:

    July 21, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    Sleepy: Cute and devious. Dodgy combination!

    Nutty: Yeah, you see, and I always thought he was really stupid. Just goes to show you… x

    Reply
13. Ruth E says:

    July 21, 2008 at 8:39 pm

    You should train him to go in some kitty litter lol

    I’m bad at having conversations with Stewie. There’s times now I don’t even realise I’m sitting talking away to him and when I catch myself on I just have to leave the room for my sanity…. however he’s not just a dog but a shadow as well so I’m not on my own again for long.

    Reply
14. English Mum says:

    July 22, 2008 at 8:51 am

    Ruth: Bert’s exactly the same – he’s always right next to me so I can’t help but chatter away to him. And when he gets stuck in a tight spot he has to do that ‘beep, beep, this vehicle is reversing’ thing and back out as he’s rather long!!! x

    Reply
15. Taffy's Mum says:

    July 22, 2008 at 9:46 am

    Taffy just “gooses” me when he wants attention – I also think it is his way of getting in close when William is bouncing around

    Reply
16. English Mum says:

    July 22, 2008 at 11:53 am

    TM: Ooh get you with your little doggy picture! Is that Will I Am or Taffy?? Bert favours the nose in the armpit technique or trying to get on people’s lap (never a favourite with visitors)!

    Reply
17. Taffy's Mum says:

    July 22, 2008 at 12:00 pm

    Tis my Taffy – I must upload photos from my phone and e-mail for you to see William.

    Found the link to have a pic whilst reading Grandad’s blog! – Ta Muchly Grandad

    Reply
18. English Mum says:

    July 22, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    TM: He’s beautiful, yes we need photos! x

    Reply