Jul

02

Fun with children

Filed under: Diary — English Mum @ 7:22 pm
 

So we’re driving through farmland, and all of a sudden our nostrils are assaulted by the dreadful smell of a pig farm that we pass.

‘Ew’, smirks Hubby, ‘who dropped one?’

#2 (he’ll never learn): ‘Well it wasn’t me!!!’

‘Are you sure?’, chimes in #1, ‘you’re not talking crap are you?

‘Yes’, adds Hubby, ‘we need to get to the bottom of this story’

Cue stifled giggles as #2 gets crosser and crosser.  ‘IT WASN’T ME!’.

‘There’s no need to get cross’, says Hubby, ‘we were only arse-king’

‘Yes, just ignore them’, says I, ‘they’re just blowing off steam’.

We’re all now clutching our stomachs in hysterics…

‘Hmmm…’, says Hubby, ‘I wonder if we still have fart to go?’

‘STOP IT!’, wails #2, ‘it really wasn’t me!’

We’re all chastised, and there’s a couple of minutes silence.

‘Nearly home’ says Hubby, ‘ahh, I love a chat with you guys…you’re such a gas‘

We all collapse again while #2 shakes his head.

‘Meh’, says I, ’sure is windy out’

‘Jeez’, says #2, I wonder sometimes who the adults are in this family.

He has a point.

12 Comments »

  1. You don’t get out much do you … do you not have a telly ?

    Comment by Moon — July 2, 2008 @ 7:30 pm

  2. So I guess maybe my family growing up were normal? Sounds like any number of family car trips, only your number two would be my Mum. She thinks farting is punishable by death! :)

    Comment by Deborah — July 2, 2008 @ 7:51 pm

  3. Don’t be writing stuff as funny as that, you’ll give me a heart attack (always did love fart humour ;-)

    Comment by Aidan — July 2, 2008 @ 8:00 pm

  4. My family, husband and four sons went on a cross country camping trip.East coast to west coast and back through the southern U.S.It became a tradition after about the 3rd state for them to pee in every state behind the station wagon.Real manly macho thing i think.

    Comment by june in florida — July 3, 2008 @ 1:43 am

  5. I’m with Deborah’s Mum…maybe with the swimming certificate and all #2 DOES take after me! Bless! I never could play the guitar though….

    Comment by Grandma — July 3, 2008 @ 6:17 am

  6. I’m disgusted. Really, really disgusted.

    My Granny will be spinning in her grave.

    It’s not F*rting, people - it’s FLUFFING!

    :D

    Comment by jennynib — July 3, 2008 @ 8:50 am

  7. Moon: Not in the car. How posh are you? ;)

    Deb: Ah, he’s such an easy target. I can actually predict the whole thing before he’s even opened his mouth!

    Aidan: It’s the staple humour in our house, I’m afraid!! Anything sets them off, though: someone’ll be eating eggs and then it’ll start: ‘oh, I’m EGGsausted today’ or ‘oh, you CRACK me up’ etc. I just leave.

    June: Hmm. What is it about boys and bodily functions? Even Bert can crack out a fair one. He does the ol’ ’stretch and fart’ yoga pose!!

    Ma: Hmm, doubt it, he’s usually the one blowing off then blaming it on everyone else!!

    Jen: My boys still laugh at you calling it that!!

    Comment by englishmuminireland — July 3, 2008 @ 9:17 am

  8. What wordsmiths all!

    Nope, can’t say this ever featured in my childhood - maybe it’s the being an only child thing?

    Comment by nuttycow — July 3, 2008 @ 9:31 am

  9. Nutty: Nor mine. My brothers thrived on creating the most complicated and hilarious of in-jokes and silly voices, then saying ‘er no, you can’t do it’ if I ever tried to join in. Evil pair.

    Comment by englishmuminireland — July 3, 2008 @ 9:49 am

  10. I am a school teacher, heard all this stuff so any times……and was still giggling about your retelling of the situation. Was dying all day to read my hubby and girls the entry but I think they’d roll their eyes and tell me how gross it was. Oh well, simple things…….

    Comment by Karen — July 5, 2008 @ 3:02 am

  11. Karen: Welcome!! I know exactly what you mean - sometimes I read stuff out that made me laugh and they all just look at me as if I’m mad! x

    Comment by englishmuminireland — July 5, 2008 @ 1:32 pm

  12. well what can I say, you always lift my spirits when I’m feeling low or stressed. you really make me laugh.
    xxxx
    tracey

    Comment by tracey fenner — July 8, 2008 @ 5:08 pm

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