Jun

15

To my Disreputable Dad, with love.

Filed under: Diary — English Mum @ 12:12 pm
 

So you know when you have those conversations with your kids?  Lazy, half-hearted chats on the way home from school, or sun-baked after lunch holiday lounger conversations about ‘what it was like when you were little’, or ‘what’s your earliest memory’ type things?  Well one thing that’s always guaranteed to get my kids going is hearing about their Grandad when I was little.

He wasn’t (and still isn’t) your average, run of the mill Dad, granted; but oh the excitement, the adventure of having the Disreputable One for a Dad made up for the fact that he was rarely there at bedtime and could be absolutely, utterly, counted on not to be there for parent’s evening either.

We used to get scribbled postcards (he needs a new spider) from exotic places like Barbados and Dominica (’why can’t we ever go, Mum?’), and have to sit through interminable slide shows of beautiful beaches and colourful tropical birds when he did finally get home.  When he was around, though, there were long summer days down the Cricket Club, building dens out of hay bales and paddling in the stream while the men baked out on the field.  I remember doing mad things like driving to the Sheraton Hotel at Gatwick Airport and having lunch in a really posh restaurant while planes jetting off to foreign climes whooshed over our heads.  And then there was The Royal Tournament (field gunners…phwoar!!), cash incentives for passing exams, a treasured memory of glimpsing him in the audience when I played the judge in Toad of Toad Hall, late-night car journeys to see the Christmas lights on Oxford Street, or being woken at 4am to get in a taxi to go on holidays to all sorts of exotic (to my 8 year old self) places: Fuengirola, Tunisia, Tenerife…

When he left, I was ‘grown up’ but still we fought and shouted and I hated him for breaking up our family, ruining future Christmases, happy visits to Grandparents for my boys, etc.  But hey, he’s my Dad (you generally only get one) and I kind of suspect he’d agree that my Mum’s happier without him (a Disreputable husband too).  Now it seems the norm that they’re not together and they’ve even talked on the phone (a milestone).

One memory amongst others sums up my Dad.  The night before I got married (for the first time), I sat in tears on their sofa when he came in and sat next to me.  I told him I didn’t want to go through with it and that I was worried I was making a huge mistake.  After spending all that money on invitations, suits, posh Laura Ashley wedding and bridesmaid dresses, a sit down meal for hundreds, did he rant?  Did he tell me I was a nightmare (as usual)?  Nope, he held my hand and said ‘Titch, it’s never too late to change your mind’.  I didn’t change my mind, and it didn’t last long but, hey, I went down the aisle on his arm knowing that he wouldn’t have cared wasting all that money as long as I was happy.

Disreputable?  Yup.  Unreliable?  Surely.  The best Dad in the world?  Absolutely.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

17 Comments »

  1. Awsome,Dads are people too.

    Comment by june in florida — June 15, 2008 @ 2:27 pm

  2. A lovely post,happy Sunday to you and all!

    Comment by Mary — June 15, 2008 @ 4:11 pm

  3. Well, in rhis case you only get one uncle as well. And to me, as an uncle, he was great to around. Being one of the special 4, EM’s two brothers, myself and my brother, we were the 4 that all played in the same cricket side for over 25 years, and he toaygh, train, gave stern bollockings when we got it wrong. Today I am sat in our new house (in Newport Beach, with mrs moon fast asleep still) missing my Dad every second, wishing he could see me now and of met the wonderful Mrs Moon. My point it this, you do only get one Dad, EM’s is not a role model to follow, but he has made a massive impact (for rhe good) in my life, before and after my dad died, in teaching me the right way to play sport, to want to win, and the best thing, always making me laugh ! He will always be a nightmare though x

    Comment by moon — June 15, 2008 @ 4:19 pm

  4. June: Yep, even my Dad. x

    Mary: Thanks! Happy Sunday to you too x

    Comment by englishmuminireland — June 15, 2008 @ 5:38 pm

  5. Moon: LOL!! He’ll be delighted to know he’s not a role model! Miss your ol’ man too, though. Remember the day he died, me you and Hubby walked along the canal together? One of the saddest days of my life xx

    Comment by englishmuminireland — June 15, 2008 @ 5:49 pm

  6. Oh and Moon, I’ve got one word for you: SPELLCHECKER!!! (or, actually, that might be two words..) x

    Comment by englishmuminireland — June 15, 2008 @ 5:57 pm

  7. cute story, EM. :)

    Comment by Tara — June 15, 2008 @ 6:26 pm

  8. Tara: Shucks ;)

    Comment by englishmuminireland — June 15, 2008 @ 7:30 pm

  9. It’s not father’s day down under until September but it’s a bit of a none event for us. My dad died 4 years ago and my husband many moons ago so happy day to all you dads that are still around - disreputable or not! Lovely post, he should be proud.

    Comment by Baino — June 15, 2008 @ 8:19 pm

  10. I know ! But its not easy typing things out on this blackberry, small keys fat fingers !

    It was a tough day, and yes I do remember , spent many hours with you to, I remember footie training with your hubby that day too xxxx

    Comment by moon — June 15, 2008 @ 11:12 pm

  11. I love how you summed up his unconditional love for you in the last paragraph…it reminded me that my grandfather told my mom the same thing on her wedding day when she was having doubts. It reminded me of the person I was before I had my children and who I am now and how grateful I am to finally understand my parents’ love for me. Thanks so much for your post and Happy Father’s day to Dad’s everywhere.

    Comment by Susannah Prill — June 15, 2008 @ 11:55 pm

  12. Baino: I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you have happy memories of both xx

    Moon: Weird the things that stick in your head. Oh you’ve got one of those Blackberry critters too? I see they do them in pink now :)

    Susannah: What a nice comment. It’s true, some things only make sense once you’re grown up or a parent yourself. Welcome and thanks so much.

    Comment by englishmuminireland — June 16, 2008 @ 6:35 am

  13. Well, mine is not in pink, I am in touch with my feminine side, but not a pink blackberry (ooh, that sounds rude !!)

    I also wanted to say, my dearest sister Bugs has written a fathers day blog, and I have been sat in tears as I read it today, father’s come in all different shapes and sizes, just remember you only ever get one of them….

    xx

    Comment by Moon — June 16, 2008 @ 2:24 pm

  14. also, I must add, I used to love getting postcards from your old man …. it was great over breakfast to work out exactly what it was saying !!!

    Comment by Moon — June 16, 2008 @ 5:12 pm

  15. Funny how dads get at weddings.

    Mine picked his moment to tell me how proud he was of me and how I looked lovely - right before I walked up the aisle…

    Course, I nearly started blubbing and it took my quick-thinking bridesmaid to lean over and hiss ‘You look mingin’! to stop my makeup from running at the crucial point.

    Comment by wee jen — June 16, 2008 @ 8:01 pm

  16. Could you ever actually work out what he had written? With writing like that, he really should have been a doctor or perhaps he could write secret messages during a war - no way would anyone be able to intercept sensitive information if he had written it!
    EM, thanks for your comments about my Dad - we still miss him and we always will.

    Comment by Don't Bug Me! — June 17, 2008 @ 1:04 am

  17. Moon: And a lovely post it was too. Made me cry x

    Wee One: Ah, trust yer friends to make everything good again eh?? x

    DBM: You’re welcome. Yes, I own the dubious honour of being the only one that can decipher the Disreputable one’s writing. They rush up to me with postcards and letters so I can translate!! x

    Comment by englishmuminireland — June 17, 2008 @ 8:23 am

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