Bird in drafty hole shocker
So I was pootling about in the kitchen this afternoon, then. I was going to make gingerbread, but then I’ve made about 300 recently and was idly wondering what else you can do with black treacle. So I thought I’d make some flapjacks with black treacle, maple syrup and cashew nuts (no method to my madness, just what happened to be in the cupboard). Anyhoo, digressing. So I turned on the extractor fan and holy bloody freeoly, all hell broke loose – there was banging and scraping and thudding and all manner of commotion. So I turned the fan back off and stood for a moment, wondering if I’d imagined it all. And then, because it’s the kind of girl I am, I turned it back on again and there, sure enough, was the banging, clattering and, if I wasn’t very much mistaken…flapping.
Now I must admit to a teeny weeny sulky and wholly unbecoming tantrum about this bloody extractor. We’ve lived in all sorts of houses and had all sorts of kitchens and finally we had a chance to choose our own. We took a very long time and several long journeys to various kitchen places to secure the Oven of My Dreams. The OMD is a shiny, stainless steel beauty, complete with gas hob with wok burner (I’ve ALWAYS wanted one of those). The kitchen fitter thought I was quite mental when I said I didn’t want an electric hob (there’s no gas supply here) and we were going to fuel it with gas bottles. And when we came to picking the extractor, I wanted one of those sweeping glass and stainless steel ones which was breathlessly ordered and then a lot less breathlessly sent back because it didn’t fit in the hole between the two eye-level cupboards. Well, I was a bit miffed to say the least, but I settled on a very nice Indesit one and no, it doesn’t match, but hey – if that’s the worst thing I have to worry about then I’m very lucky.
Where was I? Oh yes. So a quick check outside confirmed that when a hole was drilled through the wall for the extractor fan, one of those little grille things was never screwed over it (in fact, I have a vague recollection of being told to order one. Oops) and some sort of very cross bird had moved his family in. I didn’t manage to see him, not being 8′ tall and all, but he sounded less than pleased. Now what? Do I just not use the fan at all? Or will I have to uproot my little feathery lodgers? Oh dear.
In other bird news, our House Martins are back. We love them. They’re the noisiest, messiest little f*ckers – the bird world’s very own gang of teenagers on scooters, if you will. They squawk and flap and argue and throw stuff about, and leave a terrible mess all down the front of the house, but, well, when we viewed the house and saw them whizzing overhead to their little nest in the eaves, it kind of sold it for us. They may be tiny blue yobs, but they’re our tiny blue yobs and we love them. I’ll try and get you a photo but they’re very fast. Oh and yes, the flapjacks turned out just fine, thank you for asking.
17 Responses to “Bird in drafty hole shocker”
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I’m sure you can also set up a little camping stove in the shed.
It’ll be a doddle for an accomplished kitchen goddess like yourself!
Glad the flapjacks turned out great!
We have starlings in the loft. Needless to say, they chose the spot right behind the head of our bed… we are now woken to the sound of feathered football hooligans stomping around on the rafters in their little hobnail boots, hitting things with their sharp little beaks just for the sake of it and arguing amongst themselves over who it was that kicked that pellet of mouse droppings into whose eye. And that’s BEFORE the eggs hatch.
Mmmm. Maple syrup and black treacle flapjack!!
Flirty: I’m torn between the love of my oven and the desperate need to live a lifestyle where you don’t need one!!! You lucky thang x
June: Awwww…did you get a picture before they took him away? And we need photos of the armadillo too. Jeez, and I think the odd fox is bad!
Thrifty: LOL!! Ahh, nest envy. That’s why they crap on your car. I bet they have loud parties until three in the morning too, don’t they.
Sleepy: I know, Thrifty cracks me up. He’s even amusing when hungover. Impressive. I still want some Thriftyknickers too (link provided in case you all think Sleepy and I have gone mad):
http://thriftcriminal.org/?p=125
73: I sat for AGES trying to think up some really sleezy title (I mean, given the material: pipe, bird, hole…) but it just wouldn’t come. Thanks for the ooer though!
Jay: ‘Feathered football hooligans’ LOL! Heh. What is it with birds that makes them such hoolies? Yeh flapjack was good – can’t get it out of the bloody tin though :0)
Nothing stuck in the chimney, although you can always hear the birds cheeping on the roof as the lazy buggers stop for a rest from swooping between houses and taunting the cats (well, that’s what I always imagine they’re doing).
Wee One: Exciting isn’t it. God I love my kitchen. I would post a photo of it but you lot will all die of jealousy. Or just think I’m really boring putting pics of my kitchen up. Heh.
Mind you, if they stayed there at least you wouldn’t have to use a filter.
We have House Martins too – apparently they bring good luck to your home. I love ours although the mess on the back step is terrible and you have to duck and run to the car in fear of falling errr..missiles! Someone here told me to put sand down so you can at least sweep up a little of the mess.