So having a friend who owns a greyhound rescue can have its perks: first dibs on any greyhounds you fancy being one of them, but occasionally one has to reciprocate, and on this occasion when the call came in saying ‘there’s a stray greyhound in Trim, can you go and get it?’, I was happy to help.
Happy, that is, until I got there and came face to face with a spindly, scrawny, half bald, severely skinny little scrap, covered in scabs and cuts. ‘Oh’, said #2, obviously expecting something furrier, happier and altogether sweeter smelling, ‘the poor thing’. The poor thing wagged its tail feebly and jumped into the back of the car, and off we went with our evil smelling passenger gazing out of the back window.
Once home, we took it easy, giving them a chance to get to know each other with a little walk around the garden. Inside, though, things took an alarming turn, when Thing decided that not only did he quite like Bertie, but that he REALLY liked Bertie. Bert, although he’s friendly and open-minded, really drew the line at Thing’s amorous advances, and after narrowly avoiding a nasty incident involving Bert’s teeth and Thing’s neck, we had to separate them: Bert sulking on the sofa at the unfairness of it all, and Thing howling a very miserable tune in the kitchen. I grabbed the pink bat phone:
Me: ‘I need help’
Jen: ‘Oh no, do they not get on?’
Me: ‘Er, it’s not that exactly, it’s just that Thing likes Bertie a bit too much’
Jen: ‘Erm…how do you mean?’
Me: ‘Well, he keeps trying to … er… well, y’know’
Jen (catching on but determined to make me spell it out): ‘No. What?’
Me: ‘He keeps trying to have his wicked way with Bertie, who is distinctly heterosexual and not at all happy’
Jen: ‘But it’s a boy, isn’t it?’
Me: ‘Yes, he’s certainly got the right equipment, he’s just a bit confused about how he should use it’.
Jen (stifling a full blown attack of the giggles): ‘Good God, I appear to have asked you to pick up Ireland’s first gay greyhound’
Me: ‘Funny. And Bert’s going to need therapy’.
So anyhoo, Thing’s had a nice bath, a blow-dry (he liked that), antiseptic cream on all his cuts and scrapes, a big dinner and lots of cuddles and is now asleep on the dog bed in front of the fire. Bert, meanwhile, is watching him warily from his perch on the sofa. Never mind, Jen’ll be booking him in to have his bits and bobs off and then I’m sure he’ll make someone a lovely pet. And Bert will be fine, given time. And a bit of counselling…
I’m sure Thing knows he’s onto something good what with a bath, blow dry and a bed by the fire! You may have trouble when he has to go!
Comment by Ruth E — March 30, 2008 @ 9:50 pm
Comment by june in florida — March 31, 2008 @ 2:35 am
Comment by Moon — March 31, 2008 @ 2:49 am
I’m sure he knows.
Anyway, appearantly that kind of unwanted attention is more so about dominance than tender feelings. At least in dogs. Or so I’ve read.
Comment by Foreigner — March 31, 2008 @ 8:39 am
June: He’s escaped to my bed until the interloper’s dealt with x
Moon: He’s just not that way. In fact, I don’t think he’s into girls OR boys. LOL x
Foreigner: It’s a favour for a friend only - no charity involved!! Yes that’s funny, a couple of other people have told us that - trying to be top dog but literally~!~!x
Comment by englishmuminireland — March 31, 2008 @ 9:45 am
Comment by Thriftcriminal — March 31, 2008 @ 10:24 am
Comment by englishmuminireland — March 31, 2008 @ 3:29 pm
Comment by Isitjustme? — March 31, 2008 @ 4:10 pm
Comment by englishmuminireland — March 31, 2008 @ 4:49 pm
I have a kennel full of good ole’ boys who would just LOVE to make his acquaintance…
I owe you one EM!
:oP
Comment by Jennynib — March 31, 2008 @ 7:26 pm
Comment by englishmuminireland — March 31, 2008 @ 7:27 pm
Comment by Moon — March 31, 2008 @ 8:12 pm
Comment by Tara — March 31, 2008 @ 11:41 pm
Comment by englishmuminireland — April 1, 2008 @ 12:42 pm
Comment by englishmuminireland — April 1, 2008 @ 1:58 pm