So yesterday, then.  I knew J and C were coming to lunch so I popped down to the nice butcher’s on Saturday to get an enormous leg of lamb (I appreciate I have plenty next door, but they’re all still attached and somewhat fluffy).  Oh dear.  The horror stories I read in the paper about lamb legs selling for 50 euro a pop due to Easter being so early were neither confirmed nor denied as they were totally sold out.  No amount of eyelash fluttering and shameless flirting could persuade him to produce any contraband, so I had to settle for a nice joint of beef.  I have to say it was a very nice joint of beef (so it should have been for 25 quid), so I went away mildly happy, already dreaming of rubbing it with olive oil and crushed pepper.

I know you probably already know how to cook roast beef, but here’s my version, which I obviously believe to be far superior:

For the beef:

1 enormous half a cow (mine was 4lb!)

Olive oil

Handful of peppercorns, crushed

Sea salt

So first weigh your monster and calculate your cooking time.  I prefer slow-roasting (at about 180 degrees) and none of my family are fond of pink meat, so I opt for well done.  I would say as a general rule that a boneless beef joint would take about 30 mins per pound plus another 30.  If you, unlike me, don’t sacrifice your likes for that of your family and would prefer your meat pink in the middle then omit the extra half hour I suppose.  To double check, stick something metal like a carving fork right into the centre of your beef while you count to ten.  If you can hold the end without giving yourself third degree burns, it’s pretty likely that your beef with have a pink middle. 

So drizzle your baking tray with a little oil, then plonk in your beef joint.  Drizzle over more oil and sprinkle generously with the salt and pepper.  Then just set the timer and forget it.  If, like me, you’ve a pain in the bum friend who’s not particularly keen on big slabs of meat (and cheats at Easter Egg hunting), you’d do well to try this butternut squash recipe, which is dead easy and tastes yum:

1 butternut squash

4 or 5 fat cloves garlic

Olive oil

Salt and pepper

Cut the squash in half lengthways, scoop out the seeds, pop the garlic into the little scooped out bits, and generously drizzle with oil.  Season well, then when your beef is cooked, remove it to rest covered in foil, whack up the oven to 230 degrees, and cook for about 45 minutes.  This is quite handy because it’s about the same time as your Yorkshire puddings and roasties will take (see batter recipe here).

So by this time Jen and C had arrived and Hubby and I had hidden all the eggs, sweeties and stuff around the garden.  C from next door made a guest appearance to start the proceedings off, but because Jen’s such a bloody cheat, she’s already been round the garden for a recce and knew where half the stuff was.  Cue Jen rushing around the garden like the pied piper, followed by a little line of children with rapidly expanding goody bags.  Tsk.  Some people just don’t play fair.  Anyway, after all this rushing around, we were ready for our roast dinner, and finished it off with a cinnamon apple crumble, the recipe for which I will divulge next time I can be arsed.

Oh, and I should also mention that while we were all zonked, groaning and full-up on the sofa, Bert nipped upstairs and helped himself to #2’s goody bag, wrappers and all. 

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