So it’s a little-known fact that most of the occupants of English Towers will do anything for money, myself included. This manifests itself generally in all sorts of silly bets and dares; Friday evening being a typical example. #1 had a friend staying for the weekend, who commented on the fact that #2 managed to extract one single lettuce leaf when encouraged to add salad to his fajita. ‘Ahhh’, commented Hubby, now tucking in to a tin of prunes ’that’s ‘cos he’s a salad dodger’.
’No I’m not’, grumbled #2, ‘I’m very healthy. I like apples and carrots and peas and…er…’
‘See’, says Hubby, satisfied he’s won that battle, ‘told you’.
‘I can eat anything’ says #2 huffily (and somewhat dangerously), ‘I just choose not to’.
Ohhhh dear. I could see it was going to go downhill, that evil glint in Hubby’s eye temporarily blinding me and making it difficult to see my fajita.
‘Right then’, says Hubby, ‘I’ll give you a tenner if you can eat a prune’ (queue dramatic gagging from #1 and his mate: ‘no waaaay!’)
‘Er… right, then’, says #2, his bravado fast evaporating and ignoring my warning looks, ‘I will’.
Well, more gagging, retching, over-acting and near-vomiting I haven’t seen since Dean Gaffney was on ‘I’m a Celebrity’. The bloody thing went round and round his mouth, accompanied by much gurning, for so long, I actually felt sorry for the poor, misguided child. At one stage he was going to swallow it whole, pip and all, rather than risk actually having to chew it. Anyone would think he was in the jungle forcing down kangaroo testicles, rather than a humble dried fruit.
Finally, it was swallowed, and everyone held their breath to make sure it didn’t come back up. Now a rather fetching shade of green, triumphant but nauseous #2 held out his hand for the cash.
‘There’, says Hubby, handing the money over and giving a tenner to #1 too, ‘it’s from your Grandma, she sent it over today.’
‘Whaaaa?’ says #2, ‘I was going to get the tenner anyway?’
‘Yup’, says Hubby, ‘but here ’s an extra two quid for the entertainment’.
Cruel. Cruel and heartless. But kind of funny. Kids, eh? Who’d have thought they’d be so much fun?
February 25th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Nice BTW, must remember that for mine when they are older
February 25th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
February 25th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
February 25th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
February 25th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
These days it’s a bit different - too many of the extra pounds I’m wobbling around with come from my overconsumption of lovely, lovely cheese. Mmmmmm, cheese…
February 25th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
February 26th, 2008 at 12:01 am
February 26th, 2008 at 3:32 am
February 26th, 2008 at 8:35 am
February 26th, 2008 at 10:06 am
February 26th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
February 26th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
June: Ooh I love cheese and potato pie too. In fact, I used to love school dinners - I was probably the only child that did. We should sort out a prune recipe really - any ideas?
Moon: Hmmm, I have a vague recollection of you lot coming across a crashed car once. I’ll ask him.
Alg: That ‘little sod’ is your adorable Godson (what a bad choice on my part, heh). It was touch and go but he kept it down, anyway, there’s nothing in the rules about getting extra money for hurling.
TM: Look forward to email and pics, thanks! xx
Aussie! Where’ve you been? Ew how weird… I wonder how they…oh never mind xx
February 26th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
February 26th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
February 26th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
February 26th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
He also ate a slug for a fiver, and a lump of anonymous matter from the beach in Wicklow for 30 euros.
He wouldn’t touch an onion for love nor money though… some people are straaange.
February 26th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
February 27th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Well done #2 on the healthy eating and enjoy your new wealth!
February 27th, 2008 at 9:00 pm