I’ve just been reading some very interesting comments from the girlies at Beaut.ie about Pout’s new ‘Bustier’, a bust enhancing cream that apparently not only smells fahbulous, dahling, but shimmers too. The million dollar question is, however, whether all these lifting/bust firming/bugger-off-cellulite type creams are all about the massage and the moisturising rather than some wonder ingredient that actually hoicks up your, er, luggage.
Take my Clarins Total Body Lift stuff. After the initial cheek-burning humiliation had worn off (well, what would you think if your husband bought you cellulite cream for your birthday? He stopped short of saying ‘there you go, lardy’), I started to use it regularly and, do you know what? It actually worked. But blimey, you want to see the instructions - all that massaging and rubbing with gel tingly enough to make your eyes water is bound to do something. I read somewhere recently that the way to really shift the lumpy stuff is to massage with your knuckles: painful, admittedly, but the thing is with lumps that they need firm handling - there’s no point in pussyfooting around. Think of it as kneading bread dough - if you don’t give it some welly it’ll never get smooth. I got some Clarins Bust Beauty Gel in a gift box a while ago and it sat on my bathroom shelf because, frankly, the instructions put me off. All that applying ‘with light circular movements all the way from the base of the breast up to the chin and including the neck’ seemed a bit of a fag and, well, a bit weirdly self indulgent. Let’s face it; it’d be a lot more fun if you could enlist some help. Am I right?
But hang on, let’s give Pout a chance here. It smells gorgeous, makes your skin shimmery (a glimmering hint of cleavage must look better than your common or garden one, surely?) and comes in a really cute pink pot too. What’s not to love? I’m in.