Firstly this morning may I just say a resounding ‘Happy Birthday!’ to #1. And will you please stop growing up because you’re making me look really old. Being very nearly a teenager (oh dear God) means he’s far more laid back than #2 about the whole thing. In fact, he actually complained because #2 woke him up jumping on the bed and shouting ‘#1, wake up! It’s your birthday!!!’ in an overly loud and, frankly, juvenile manner.

Phone calls from Disreputable Dad and me Mum followed (separately, obviously). I got in a quick chat with Mum but Disreputable Dad rang off before I got the chance to say hello - he’s probably off doing something wayward and mischievous and didn’t have time to talk.

Anyhoo, being old and boring he only wanted money, so the present opening ceremony was slightly short. I think he secretly liked the animal balloons we blew up for him though. I got completely cross with the snake one as I couldn’t blow it up and had to wait ’til Hubby came home (he was horrifically late) and humiliate myself by asking him if he’d blow up my balloon. We have also bestowed upon him the grown-up birthday treat of being able to have one of the copious amounts of televisions we have in the house (I swear they breed) moved into his bedroom. I’m not letting him have Sky in there though. Firstly, because I can’t even imagine how much it would cost to have some Sky chappy in to drill holes in the walls, etc (oh, that’s another reason - the drilling) and secondly because I don’t want him to be stumbling across such gems as ‘Badly Dubbed Porn’ (I’ve just seen it advertised, okay?) in the middle of the night when I’m not there to supervise.

For his ‘you can have absolutely anything but only on this one day’ birthday cake he’s chosen Raspberry and Chocolate Cheesecake which is not only terribly grown up, but something I’ve never made before, so it’s off to the recipe books this morning. He originally chose Cherry and Chocolate Cheesecake, but there were no cherries of any description in Tesco. As it was I nearly had heart failure purchasing one teeny tiny pack of raspberries, flown in from bloody Africa probably at the expense of several square miles of Brazilian rain forest or some iceberg where polar bears are having a really hard time living or something. I normally would have thrown them back in disgust, but it’s his birthday and who gives a toss about your carbon footprint on your birthday eh?

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