There was a certain amount of unrest in the camp yesterday. Seeing as Sunday is ‘trolley dash’ day, the children began their customary rampage through the house, rescuing all sorts of discarded crap (#1’s socks for some reason accumulate under the cushions on the sofa - this is because he finds socks ‘uncomfy’ when he’s watching telly apparently) and reclaiming all sorts of items from the dog’s bed from where they’ve been ‘tidied’.

The unrest was caused when King Dad, ruler of all that is householdish, deciding in a kind of ‘back in my day’ moment that his subjects weren’t pulling their weight, decided to move the goal posts. I see his point; for the whole week the lazy slobs leave their dirty clothes in heaps on the floor until yelled at to pick them up (then moan because they have no clean uniform - well, duh, it’s on the floor in your bedroom), forget their school stuff and generally use the place as a hotel, then miraculously on Sunday they are paid for tidying up the mess that they made. Something’s not quite right. So His Royal Hubbyness has therefore decreed that there shall be, henceforth, a new regime for our tiny slackers (cue much tutting and muttering). The rules are simple:

1. You make a mess, you clear it up - right there and then
2. You take responsibility for your school stuff and make sure everything you need for the next day is ready the night before
3. You help around the house - take your plate out/offer to lay the table/wash up/dry up/help without being asked/forced/bribed (delete as appropriate)
4. You keep your bedroom tidy - every day

In return, they get a Euro for every day that they’ve kept their part of the bargain, but a Euro deducted every day they break a rule. So, in theory, they could reap a reward of a whopping 7 Euro a week if they play their cards right. The temptation of this much cash had them rushing to the computer to print out tables and charts to track their progress (and therefore their cash). #2 dried up after tea and #1 had his football kit ready before Top Gear. I give it ’til Wednesday.

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