Post from my Dad whips up a great deal of excitement in my household. This time it was a list of jokes. We knew we were onto a winner when #1, whilst reading through them, spat his dinner out in a fit of giggles. Highlights include:

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him under.

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted ‘doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!’ The doctor replied: ‘I know you can’t, I’ve cut your arms off’.

Our ice cream man was found dead today. He was lying on the floor of his van covered in hundreds and thousands and chopped nuts. Police say he topped himself.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my Mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho Cha Chu. But I think it’s Colin.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off.

And finally, an Irish joke just for good measure:

Ireland’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

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