Well you’ll be pleased to know I had a little text conversation with J yesterday, and the stealing of undies is apparently quite normal behaviour for a greyhound. Why the harvesting of people’s underwear should help you rocket round a track at the speed of light is beyond me, but apparently its inbuilt behaviour. J confided that she worries her neighbours have the impression that her and C are right ravers, the amount of underwear that finds its way onto her front lawn.

Talking of worrying, Hubby and I did a bit of that ourselves last night. We’d had a few drinks (medicinal) and watched Love Island (Chris was evicted, a total travesty in my opinion), and decided to go to bed. We took the pocket rocket out for her late night walkies, which was very exciting as we have had two new visitors in the back garden recently in the shape of two beautiful young foxes. They were playing in the corner of the lawn and were just stunning. Their fur is a really bright gingery orange, and as they’re still young, they haven’t yet got that scrawny look of an older fox, looking kind of pert and..well..foxy.

So..plenty of nice foxy smells for B to investigate, then Hubby mentioned that B had not done a..er..number 2 (not to be confused with son #2 obviously) since her dinner. This started us worrying that she was about to be locked up all night with a rather full stomach, so we decided to try and persuade her. Not being dog people we weren’t at all sure how you get a dog to ‘go’, but we wondered whether she was a bit shy with us watching her, so we turned out backs and let her alone in case she had a bit of performance anxiety. This was a problem because it was dark and we needed to keep an eye on her, so then we tried a bit of ’subliminal messaging’. This was basically in the form of a really loud, giggly conversation which went something like ‘I did a really big poo yesterday, did I tell you?’, followed by ‘no, really? I bet it wasn’t as big as my big MASSIVE one that I did…nothing better than a big POO to make you feel better’ etc etc. As a strategy this was somewhat unsuccessful, not only because I’m sure the dog had no idea we were subliminally willing her to have a poo, and secondly because it ended up in an enormous bout of drunken hysterics, which she had to come over and check out to make sure we were both alright. So basically, we staggered off to bed and B went to her bed both full and somewhat confused. Funny things, humans.

Anyway, I’m pleased to report that she managed to wait til her walk with the real #2 this morning. I’m really going to have to start getting out more, a whole blog about my dog’s bowel movements is not going to entertain my readers..

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